Title: Wise and Wicked
Author: OCDdegrassi
Pairing: Albus/Tom Riddle Jr. (Voldemort), Mentions of Albus/Gellert
Rating: T
Warning: AU, Angst, Slash, Sexual Content, Student/Teacher Relationship, Age Difference, Some OOC
Note: Written for the "Ship Name Competition." I know that people are going to argue that Tom was born a sociopath, but I believe in nurture over nature, so that's the idea that this story is based on. It was supposed to be just a short drabble…
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Albus once knew a boy who made all the wrong choices. He also knew a man that did the same.
He told the students that there is good and evil in all of us, including himself in the statement as a reminder that nobody is perfect – least of all him. Yet nobody had understood exactly what he meant. They all saw Voldemort as the evil villain and Albus as the white knight. They had no idea how gray he was. He felt like a hypocrite for letting people put him on a pedestal that he didn't deserve.
Voldemort had once been gray too, many years ago. He started out as a curious, affection-starved boy that wanted to feel important. He had never experienced love before, so he couldn't recognize that the emotion he was desperately craving was just that. He confused his desire for it as a desire for recognition; a desire to have someone acknowledge him. He tried to find that in Albus.
Tom idolized him, thinking him closer to a god than a mortal man. It reminded Albus of the way he felt about Gellert. He had worshipped the man, in awe of his power and charisma. He seemed larger than life, and Albus just wanted to be a part of it.
The tables had turned. Albus was suddenly the one with a devoted admirer, and just like Gellert before him, he couldn't give the younger boy what he was looking for. He knew that Tom needed attention and love, but he couldn't bring himself to give it. He was too bitter and empty from the scars that Gellert had left on him.
Tom sought him out on a regular basis, using every excuse from asking a question to reporting another student's misbehavior. Albus would be lying if he said that he tried to make time for him; he regularly brushed him off, focusing on the million other things that needed his attention. The disappointment in the boy's eyes eventually turned to bitterness and resentment.
His lack of parents had left a hole in his heart, which he tried to fill with Albus' affection. When that didn't work, he felt ignored and rejected all over again. His looks of adoration that were once aimed at Albus slowly morphed into looks of hatred.
But he still didn't stop trying to win Albus' approval. It was actually rather sad and pathetic, but Albus couldn't deny that he felt intoxicated by the attention. It was exactly what he always wanted from Gellert but never received.
His mind began to go places that it shouldn't have. He wondered what it would be like to take Tom; to own and control him. Would his body respond eagerly to Albus despite his hardened heart and skeptical mind? How much power did he really have over the boy? The urge to know was a maddening temptation.
He went to visit Gellert, though he wasn't sure whether it was to find closure or break open old wounds out of self-destruction. Regardless of Albus' true reasons behind it, his old friend had been nothing short of cruel to him. He mocked Albus' love, comparing him to a pathetic dog that was eager to obey its master.
It was bad luck that Tom approached him right after he returned to Hogwarts that night. The meeting had left him emotionally raw and unstable, and he gave into his darker urges. He bent Tom over the desk, slamming into him as the younger boy fervently tried to push back to meet his thrusts.
Tom gripped the edge of the desk, his head bent over as he breathed heavily. When he glanced back at Albus, there was a feverish look in his eyes – one of desire and need. It was exhilarating to the older man, but only until the reality of what he had done sunk in. His high was quickly replaced with guilt and disgust.
Tom had turned around, pressing himself close to Albus as he tried to connect their lips in a kiss, but Albus felt like he was going to be sick. He stepped back, not missing the confused and hurt expression that flashed across Tom's face. Albus swallowed down the vomit that was rising in his throat, walking away without a word because he was afraid of what would come out if he tried to speak.
Out of all the wrong choices that Albus had made in his life, that one was by far the worst. Something seemed to break in Tom after that night. Albus had expected anger or a look of betrayal when he saw Tom the next day. Instead, the boy looked empty. His expression was blank, and even his eyes were emotionless.
It was ironic; everyone thought that Voldemort was a monster, but no one ever guessed that Albus was part of the reason that he became one.
Tom's only experience with love turned out to be nothing more than cold detachment from Albus; it was unsurprising that he grew to hate the emotion. Albus wondered how things would have been different if he had made different choices - better choices. Could he have saved Tom? Maybe not, but he would never know. All he knew for certain was that he helped destroy him.
So Albus felt like a fraud when people looked at him like he was a saint – someone who stood for truth and light. They couldn't be more wrong about him. They all believed that he was wise and Voldemort was wicked, but they had no idea that Albus was wicked too.
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A/N: Reviews are always appreciated!