Sparks
A MTG-FIC
By Rouis
Prologue: Where every wizard knows your name
Not only was Jace having the absolute worst day of this existence, he was also hallucinating, at least that was what he thought when he noticed the door. One minute he had literally been introducing his forehead to the desk before him, and the next he looked up to the sight of a carved wooden door in a corner of his study that had not been there before. "I swear if this is another one of Niv Mizzet's doors to nowhere I'm going to have a new dragonhide cloak." He grumbled while making his way towards the intruding door. It didn't seem all that special. The door was just a door, never mind that the words Sparks were engraved on the handle. When the door opened he was met with the smell of hops, and barley. "What the-"
Planeswalking your way through the worlds today takes everything you got!
Taking a break from all your worries, sure would help a lot.
Wouldn't you like to get away?
Sometimes you want to planeswalk
Where every wizard knows your name,
and they're always glad you came.
You wanna be where you can see,
our troubles are all the same
You wanna be where every wizard knows
Your name.
"Welcome Mr. Beleren, we've been expecting you for quite some time." A heavyset young gentleman said from behind the bar counter.
"Where the hell am I? Is this some Rakdos trick?" The now bewildered Jace Beleren half yelled as he entered the establishment.
"Oh hey Jasey long time no see. Are we killing each other today, or should we just make out?" A red clad woman said, as she noticed Jace's arrival.
Jace readied himself for a fight. "Of course it would be you Chandra, when isn't it you?"
The Barkeep raised the barrel of a shotgun into the air, and fired a loud warning shot. "Hey now, no fighting!" He warned before pointing to a large sign entitled Rules of the Establishment
Rules of the Establishment
All Violators will be thrown out, or exiled
One: No fighting on the premesis
Two: No breaking the glass, or glassware
Three: Do not harass the staff
Three A: Do not raise the staff as undead
Three B: Do not mindwipe the staff.
Three C: Do not infect the staff with any contagion
Three D: This also includes polymorphs
Four: We do not accept mana as payment
Five: No touching my shotgun
With a sigh larger than most Simic monstrosities Jace took a seat at the bar. He purposefully sat one stool away from Chandra who seemed to be enjoying her chance at taking verbal cheap shots at him with little to no retaliation. "Very well then Barkeep, I'll take one of whatever you recommend."
Chandra tried her best imitation of a pouty face before taking a sip of her own drink. The drink in question appeared to be some red concoction that was lit on fire. "What's wrong Jacey? You don't seem your usual self." She mused while prodding him in the side with her free hand.
The Barkeep watched Chandra's prodding, and turned to Jace. "Seven shots of my strongest bourbon it is then." With that he set himself to work getting the drinks for the seemingly depressed planeswalker.
Jace focused on watching the Barkeep pour his shots for a moment before turned to Chandra, and slapped her hand away from his side. "If you must know, I have spent the past few weeks grinding my brain over nothing but runes for an overgrown lizard, and his band of merry men to no thanks. My home is about to thrown into war by guilds going at each other's proverbial throats, and now I'm sitting in what appears to be some transdimensional pub next to the one woman in the entire multiverse who takes some bizarre obsession with flirting with me while simultaneously crushing my very being!" He ranted before downing three of the shots he had been served. The bourbon burned at his throat as it washed down, and he gagged at first before he started to overlook the sensation.
"Aww it seems poor Jacey can't hold his liquor." Chandra cooed before getting up from her stool and throwing a few gold pieces down on the counter. "Thanks Barkeep, I'll leave Jacey here to you." She started to make her way towards the door before she felt a tug on the leg of her pants. She looked down to the sight of a now sobbing Jace Beleren.
"Don't go sweetie." Jace whined. It was obvious at this point that he could not indeed hold his liquor.
Chandra shook her head the now drunk Jace. "Sorry your a nice guy and all, but your kind of a few centuries outside of my dating range." She said before shaking him off, and leaving the bar through the only door.
Jace looked on to see a brief glimpse of what appeared to be the inside of an active volcano. He wrinkled his nose at the brief smell of brimstone that vanished as soon as the door had shut. He brought himself shakily onto his feet, and opened the door only to see the inside of his study. "Oh well, I guess I'll just return to Ravnica then." He said as the rest of the bar patrons groaned. He stepped through the door, and shut it behind him.
"He never paid for his drinks." The Barkeep said, as he looked at the gold pieces Chandra had left. There were more than enough to cover both her, and his expenses. He quickly snatched up the pieces, and dropped them into the cash drawer of a register he kept behind the bar counter.
A tiny mechanical bird beaked robot known as a Myr Servitor jumped up on the counter, and made a series of squeaking noises at the Barkeep.
The Barkeep shook his head in recognition, and handed the servitor a large bottle of wine. "Bolas only buys the expensive stuff, which is fine with me as long as he does not shift into dragon form." He watched the little robot take the bottle in his hands, and scurry off to one of the corner booths before sighing. "I hate mondays."