Prologue

Once upon a time, there was a beautiful kingdom of rolling hills and towering castles. It's name was Auradon, and it was a kingdom united by the efforts of King Adam and Queen Belle. For some reason, they got to rule, even though there are about thirty other royal families in the area. It makes no sense.

Anyway, back to my introduction. Off the coast of Auradon lay a small, industrial island. It was smelly and gross, and surrounded by a protective forcefield.

Of course, the forcefield wasn't meant to protect the island. Oh no, it was to keep everyone in Auradon safe from the vile, evil inhabitants of the Isle of the Lost.

And yes, that's its name. Super lame. Oh, I wonder what we should name this island with all the people we hate most living on it. I know! We'll imply that they were just lost, misguided souls, because we are way too optimistic and like to see the good in everyone! But despite the name, they will be given no second chances because they're super evil. It makes so much sense.

Now, this is the part where I talk all about the people who live on the island, and how they play a role in this story. Let me just go ahead and get this out of the way – I am the most important person on the island; however, I'll go ahead and list off the other people involved in this tale as well.

First, there's Mal. Weird name, right? It gets even weirder when you know that her mother is Maleficent. Yeah. Her daughter's name is literally the first part of her name. How original. I wonder if she wanted everyone to know that Mal is her daughter? Well, if it weren't for the name and the ridiculous purple hair, you really wouldn't know they were related. For the daughter of one of the greatest villains in the history of the kingdom, she's quite bad at being bad - not for lack of trying of course. She does her best, stealing candy from babies and stepping on tables, but nothing that really screams bad. It wouldn't be such a poor attempt if not for the fact that it's obvious she doesn't want to be her mother. As much as she tries to hide it, I can tell she doesn't really want to be evil. Maybe mean or even unpleasant, but definitely not to the extent her mother expects of her.

Next is Evie, daughter of, guess who, the Evil Queen. I've never heard her mother be called by an actual name, so I suppose "Evie" is as close to "Evil Queen" as you can get, while still passing as a name (kind of). From what I can tell, Evie is more interested in fashion and securing a prince – good luck with that on this island – than following in her mother's footsteps. That really impresses me, because she knows what she wants and goes for it, and because her mother really wasn't that good of a villain. I mean, she tried to kill Snow White with an apple, just because she thought the girl was prettier than her. That seems kind of crazy to me.

Third up is Jay, thief extraordinaire. He will steal literally anything that's available. Seriously, anything. His dad is Jafar – again with the creative naming of children – and compared to the others I've mentioned, they seem to have the best relationship. Granted, it's mainly because Jafar wants stolen goods and Jay really likes to steal, but it's better than nothing. To be perfectly honest, Jay is the kid I know the least about, other than the fact that he's really sneaky and really competitive. I tried playing cards with him once (courtesy of the Queen of Hearts) and I can say without a doubt that I will never do that again. He flipped a table onto a couple eating nearby when I beat him.

Last but not least, there's Carlos, the only one with a real and original name out of the four. Unfortunately, despite his luck in the naming department, he drew the short stick when it came to parents. And I mean the really, really short stick. His mom, Cruella De Ville, wears a coat made of dogs, which is pretty creepy. Also, she decided it was a good idea to make her son terrified of the animals. I can't even imagine being afraid of dogs, since they're the greatest animals ever. Even my dog, who has three heads and three times the sharp teeth, is very sweet. From the moment I met him, it was clear to me that Carlos was the most ridiculous of the bunch.

So that's it. The four other people from the island who play a part in this story. The only thing they really have in common is bad parenting. I mean, I can't complain, my dad is the god of the underworld, but at least he cares about me. Their parents only care about what their kids can do for them.

I suppose that's the reason why we never became friends; I always had my dad to look out for me and be my friend, and all they had was each other. And I would just like to say that, for the record, no, I do not have blue fiery hair. For some reason that trait just didn't seem to pass down to me, thank goodness. The only thing my dad and I have in common is our biting sense of humor.

While I'm on the wonderful subject of me, I suppose there are a couple more things I should mention. I have a three-headed dog named Cerberus, and he's the reason that Carlos is afraid to get within ten feet of me. Normally on the island, pets aren't allowed; however, my dad drives a hard bargain, especially when he mentions the consequence of suffering in the Underworld for all eternity; he's such a good father. So a deal was struck – we got to keep Cerberus, but he had to be shrunken down to the size of a pug so that he couldn't harm anyone. That was fine by me, since I was a kid, and little doggies were easier to cuddle with when it got cold, as it often did. Oh yes, another thing: we live underground on the island. The only cliché thing about my family, but that's fine. It's better than being named after my dad.

I think that's all the background information I need to give, so I suppose this is where the real story begins.