Summary: As a future SOLDIER, Zack must take the required etiquette classes, including ballroom dancing. Problem is, Zack has two left feet. Lucky for him he has the best substitute teacher. Or perhaps not so lucky …

"Excuse me?"

"Dance etiquette. Ballroom one."

"You want me to substitute for the dance teacher?"

"Yes."

"Me? Teach a bunch of bumbling cadets how to dance?"

"Just for a week."

Genesis stared hard. Long and hard. Surely Lazard was joking. He, Genesis Rhapsodos, was not particularly patient when it came to mindless idiots. Hell, he'd be the first to admit he had the patience of stapler. Teaching the little maggots was more of Angeal's thing.

But Angeal can't dance for shit.

And Sephiroth scared the living daylights out of most people, not to mention he wasn't particularly fond of any kind of skin-to-skin contact. The thought of the General dancing with a measly Cadet was actually quite laughable. Wait a minute, why was he only considering his fellow Firsts?

"Don't you have people for this kind of thing?"

"Normally yes, but the current substitute is on vacation—"

"What about another SOLDIER?"

"Surely you will agree there is no better SOLDIER suited for the dance floor than yourself?"

"Flattery dully noted."

"But it's the truth."

"And you mean to tell me that with all of Shinra's billions of gil, there is no one else capable of teaching a few cadets how to two-step?"

Lazard had the decency to look somewhat embarrassed. "Look. The vice-president believes having one of you three do it will bring up morale—"

"Ah. So it's the twit's fault."

Lazard sighed, raking a hand through his hair as he eyed the very annoyed SOLDIER First Class sitting in front of him. "I'm very sorry, Genesis. But it's out of my hands—"

"So give me a mission. Send me away. Anything is better than babysitting a bunch of—"

"Here is the roster. You start on Monday." The blond man cut in smoothly, handing him a light blue folder with a list of names inside.

For a second it almost seemed as if Genesis might knock it out of the proffered hand. But then, with a sudden leer he snatched the said folder and stood up. "Fine. But don't say I didn't warn you."

And with that, he swept out of the office.

Zack was excited. Recently he and a small group of men had been promoted to Cadet status. Which meant there was a very big possibility he might become a SOLDIER. And once he became a SOLDIER he could finally be what he'd always wanted to be: a hero.

As a Cadet the classes were longer, harder, and more in quantity, but so far Zack Fair had sped through them better than any of his classmates. And it was only day one. Yes, things were looking bright for the spiky-haired young man, and as if that wasn't enough, their last class of the day turned out to be 'Etiquette-Dancing'.

Zack nearly laughed himself off the lunch table. If it weren't for his best friend, Kunsel, he might have even choked.

"Dancing? Are they serious?"

"Yeah. SOLDIERs have to have decent etiquette skills, and that includes dancing. I'm guessing we'll do that for the first couple of weeks or so. It's usually the most difficult part of proper etiquette to master."

Zack snorted. "Yeah, right. Grab the girl and swing her around the dance floor. Sounds like cake to me."

Kunsel chuckled. "We'll see. It might not be as easy as it looks. Plus you know what I heard?"

"What?"

"That we're going to have a substitute teacher for the first week."

Zack pumped his fist in the air. "Yes!"

"And rumor has it that—"

"I love substitutes!"

Kunsel pursed his lips. "Zack. Will you listen—"

"Slack-off week!"

"You don't understand. I'm ninety-nine percent sure that our substitute is going to be—"

"I bet she's an old, deaf lady with bad eyesight. I can imagine it already 'here, grab my cane, sonny boy.' Oh, sorry what were you saying, man?"

A strange expression flitted across the other man, and Kunsel suddenly grinned. "Nothing. I can't wait for dance class."

It was twenty minutes into class time and the instructor—substitute instructor—had yet to show up. Not that anyone was complaining. The young men, tired and sore from the day's earlier training regime, sat and stood scattered across the ballroom, several individuals even sliding across the smooth hardwood floor in their socks for some source of entertainment. Zack was among these. In fact, he seemed to be the one leading the minor escapade.

"Fifty gil says I can slide all the way to the door in one go."

"No way, man."

"Put your money where your mouth is then, Lux!"

Luxiere laughed, spitting on his hand and offering it towards the spiky-haired teen. "Alright then, Fair. Easiest fifty I ever made."

Zack took the proffered hand with a beaming smile. "You mean that I ever made." He then proceeded towards the wall opposite the door, preparing for the epic slide. "Ok, here I go. On the count of three." He turned a cocky grin towards the others."

"One."

The door handle suddenly turned. Zack didn't notice.

Kunsel did. With a start he called out to his friend. "Um, Zack?"

"Two!"

"Zack, I really think you should stop."

The door opened.

"Three!"

Zack vaulted himself forward, finally facing the door and letting the slippery, smooth floor steer him across towards the entrance door. He let out a very loud and enthusiastic

'whoohoo!', his socked feet a feeble resistance against the shiny, waxed floor. Then he looked up.

And paled.

He tried to stop, he really did. But by the time he plopped himself onto the hard floor, butt first, it was too late. And suddenly—

"Good afternoon, infidels. My name is Commander—"

"Aahhh! Look out!"

—Zack crashed right into and toppled over Genesis Rhapsodos.

"Oh dear. He's not going to take that well."

"Hardly. Though I do not understand why that Cadet was sliding in the first place."

Angeal shrugged, though he was still watching the surveillance camera with a worried grimace. "It's fun and the kid is young." He explained.

When Sephiroth stared at him blankly, Angeal elaborated. "It's kind of like … skating. Have you ever been roller-skating? Or even ice-skated?"

"…No."

It was a predictable response, one Angeal knew he should have suspected. He waved a hand dismissively. "Never mind then. I'll explain later. Look, Gen is getting up."

Sephiroth frowned at his friend's dismissal but leaned forward nonetheless. His brow creased in addition with the scene depicted on the screen. Surely that was against the rules. He made to get up but a light tap on his arm stopped him.

"Not yet. It's only the first day." Angeal sighed. "But Gaia, help him."

The Cadets watched with a mixture of awe and horror as their substitute teacher continued to threaten one of their own. They had jumped into salute the moment their red-leather clad Commander retrieved himself off the ground and barked for their attention. Five minutes passed and they were still in salute. Their squirming peer did nothing to quell their nerves. Nor did their hissing teacher.

"Tell me again, Cadet, why the hell you were sliding in the first place?"

Zack sputtered against the iron grip that held him up. "J-just hav-ving f-f-fun."

"I'm sorry, I didn't hear you."

"J-j-just having fun, s-sir!"

"Ah. Having fun. Is that what you think being a SOLDIER is? Fun?"

"N-no, sir."

Genesis dropped him to the ground, allowing Zack a couple precious seconds to breathe. Zack turned over on his stomach, making to crawl away from the psychotic man but a heavy boot suddenly slammed him back into the ground.

"I'm not done talking to you, Cadet. Why are you here today?"

Zack wheezed, but nothing audible came out.

Genesis put more weight onto his back. Turning a piercing glare towards the rest of the class, he snapped: "At ease! Now, can any of you worms tell me why the hell you're here today?"

The men glanced about nervously, avoiding the Commander's penetrating stare. No one answered. And then—

"H-hero."

Genesis looked down to frown at the spiky-haired teen writhing beneath his boot. "What did you just say?"

Zack coughed but managed to repeat himself. "To be a hero, sir."

Genesis smirked, removed his boot and took a step back. "You think learning how to dance will make you a hero?"

"Well not just dancing but—"

"Idiot. Now get off the floor and go join the rest of your class."

Scrambling away as quick as possible, Zack took his place beside Kunsel, grabbing the set of shoes his friend passed him wordlessly.

Genesis watched the exchange with disgust before folding his arms and striding over to the front of the class. He surveyed the small Cadets with a cold glare, his glance travelling the length of the room and causing several young men to flinch and squirm uncomfortably. Finally after what seemed too long a silence: "Let this be your first and only warning that I will not tolerate such stupidities in my classroom. Nor will I tolerate any stupid questions. You are here because by some miracle our brilliant staff sought you fit for potential SOLDIER candidates. And unfortunately for me that includes teaching you imbeciles how to dance. So quit staring like a bunch of brainless morons and pair up."

The young men glanced at each other with uncertainty. Surely he didn't mean they pair up with each other?

Noticing their sudden discomfort with the idea, Genesis stifled an exasperated growl. Angeal had told him to be nice but these whelps were really pushing him to the edge. "For Gaia's sake, just grab the person to your right and find a spot on the floor or so help me you'll end up with me!"

Zack immediately grabbed hold of Kunsel's wrist.

"No way, Zack. I love you man, but you're already on his bad side." Kunsel yanked his wrist away, moving to grab hold of Luxiere.

"Kunsel, come on man, don't be that way!"

But Kunsel was already moving away with a smirking Luxiere by his side.

Frantically Zack turned to the next available guy. Unfortunately most of the other Cadets seemed to be of the same mindset as Kunsel.

"Hurry up!"

The remaining Cadets scurried over to an empty place on the dance floor, and Zack's usually cheerful demeanor quickly evaporated when he realized he was the only one without a partner.

"Well, well, well," Genesis drawled, eyeing the anxious Cadet, "looks like you get to be my partner. Name."

Zack cursed his luck. But he knew there was no use in being a bad sport about his situation. First impressions be damned. He could fix this. He would fix this. Commander Genesis Rhapsodos would never know what hit him. And so with a bright smile and an eager salute, Zack stood up straight and responded enthusiastically. "Zack Fair, Commander Rhapsodos, sir!"

"Well then Jack—"

"Actually it's Zack—"

"I don't care. Shut up and put your hand down. I didn't tell you to stand at attention or are you just that dense?"

A few snickers were audibly heard, though they were quickly silenced with a piercing glare from Genesis. "You will follow my instructions carefully, no exceptions. Contrary to your mundane minds you are not babies and I am not your baby-sitter, therefore the moment you irritate me will be the moment you find yourself in a very uncomfortable position. Are we understood?"

Several Cadets nodded.

"I said, are we understood!"

"Yes sir!"

Genesis smirked. "Good. You're learning fast. There's hope for you yet." Pulling out a small remote of some sort, he clicked a series of buttons and suddenly the tension-filled atmosphere was enveloped in a light, medium-paced tune. "Alright then," Genesis continued, "show me what you got."

"But shouldn't we be dancing with girls?" a voice rang out tentatively.

Without even glancing at him Genesis replied: "Ideally. Use your imaginations. Fortunately most of you fit the profile already."

Finally turning back to his 'partner' Genesis' lip curled in distaste. "As for you," he snidely ordered, "piss me off one more time and I'll have you dancing the tango with my rapier. Are we clear?"

Zack gulped. "Crystal, sir."

Genesis grinned lazily. "Good. Starting tomorrow, you're the girl."

"Tomorrow, sir?"

"Yes. You're on weapons-cleaning duty for the rest of today's class."

Zack's eyes widened. "But—"

Genesis took a menacing step forward, causing the younger to shrink away. "Get going," he hissed, "I don't have all day to watch over mistakes like you."

Zack slumped and headed dejectedly towards the door.

"It's really too bad the surveillance cameras don't include audio."

Sephiroth clasped his hands on his lap. "Why is that? It is quite obvious, judging by Genesis' body language that he is thoroughly annoyed with the situation."

Angeal turned a smug smile towards the other. "Wow, Sephiroth. You're getting better at reading people."

Sephiroth shrugged. "Genesis being irritated is a routine event."

Angeal watched the screen, his eyebrows lowering when the unfortunate Cadet sulked out of the room. "I wonder what Gen told him to make him so upset."

"Perhaps he is just being over-sensitive."

"Who?"

"The Cadet."

"Why do you say that?"

"It is just a dance class."

"I can't dance."

"You can."

"Not well enough."

"But minimally. And that is all that is required."

"But that Cadet looked really upset … maybe I should go have a talk with Gen. Tell him to tone it down."

"Correct me if my hypothesis is wrong, but it has been my experience that Genesis reacts quite negatively when told to do otherwise."

Angeal seemed to ponder this for a moment, before offering a tired laugh. "You're absolutely right. Might I compliment you, once again, on your progressing ability to read people?"

"Thank you. I learn from the best."

Genesis slammed the door. Hard. He could breathe fire right now if he wanted to.

"That bad, huh?"

"You have no idea!"

Angeal chuckled, scooting over reflexively when his best friend threw himself haphazardly into his couch. "Should I even ask?"

"I'm going to have gray hairs by the end of the week."

"Would you like me to step in?"

Genesis' head snapped sideways so quickly Angeal flinched. "Would you?"

Angeal grinned. "You know I would if I knew how to dance."

"But you do know! The basics anyway, and that's all—"

"Genesis, I'm dreadful. Just suck it up, you only have four days left."

"Four eternal days."

"It can't be that bad."

"It's worse. One of the brats actually knocked me over."

Angeal pretended to be surprised. "Really? Wow, he must encompass great strength then."

"He was sliding on the dance floor in his socks."

"But how—"

"I'm telling you, it's horrible. And that same little shit is going to be my partner for the next few days, too."

"Ah. So then maybe you just bit into the bad apple."

Genesis snorted. "Always the optimist."

Angeal put a comforting hand on the auburn-haired man's shoulder. "I'm sorry, Gen."

Genesis sighed. "You should be. This is your fault you know."

Angeal frowned. "Why do you say that?"

"You told me to be nice. And I was crashed into by a rowdy, chocobo-socked fool."

"He had chocobo socks?"

Genesis abruptly smacked his friend with a sofa pillow.

Yay? Nay? I found this in my computer from aaaaaages ago, I barely remember writing it lol, but I do remember having fun doing so…anyway, let me know, review, and I'll post the next installment :)