Title: The Third Side of the Coin
Author: snarkysweetness
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Skye/Ward with Simmons, Fitz, Coulson, May, & Koenig
Summary: Grant Ward wasn't the type of man you would allow your daughter to fall in love with. Unfortunately for Skye there was no loving father to warn her from the monster zeroing in on her heart.
Warnings: Sexy times.
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Author's Notes: I think me writing things that will be Jossed while waiting for the episode to air is going to be a weekly thing [rants about timezomes].
Agent Grant Ward didn't do feelings.
Love was for children; Romanoff had taught him that in his very brief stint as her trainee.
No matter how you sliced it, he was not a good man. On the S.H.I.E.L.D. side he was a trained assassin from a broken home with little people skills. On the Hydra side he was a sleeper agent poised to kill any threat without blinking an eye.
Grant Ward wasn't the type of man you would allow your daughter to fall in love with. Unfortunately for Skye there was no loving father to warn her from the monster zeroing in on her heart.
But in this love story it wasn't the sunshine princess who would be getting her heart broken, because Grant Ward had been compromised. The deadly double agent who no longer knew right from wrong, who had long ago forgotten what it felt like to be loved and to love in return, and who harbored an explosive rage had fallen prey to a tiny girl who now had full control of his heart.
Grant wasn't even sure when it had started. She's been an inconvenience in the beginning; an unknown variable who had destroyed all of the plans he'd made to warm up to the team. She was pretty, so much so he'd let it slip during Coulson's fake-out with the truth serum. There was no such thing as a truth serum, he'd just wanted to tell her she was pretty because she was and because he could never have imagined Coulson would invite her to join the team.
So he'd brought her on as his pain-in-the-ass rookie and that's when the trouble really started. She started to get to him; her smile, her laugh, her determination to be a real agent. He found himself enjoying her company. When he started spending time with her just to be around her, whether it be playing board games or sitting together while he read and she played with her computer, was when he realized it was time to push her away; he didn't need the distraction.
Miles had given him a valid reason to keep away from her but she'd just kept coming. She saw through him and it scared him. He'd allowed May to seduce him not only to get close to her for his cover but to channel his desires to pin his tiny rookie to the training mat and fuck her into other activities.
It had worked for a while, until fucking Garrett nearly had her killed. He'd wanted to go to him and murder him with his bare hands and tell Coulson everything, but saving her had come first. Getting her back was a wake-up call; he loved her.
Grant didn't know what love meant but here was what he did know. The thought of losing her was unacceptable. There was no world without her in it. He wanted to put her first. Keeping her safe was his number one priority. When he was with her, he was different. There was no pretending. He'd spent most of his life pretending. Pretending to be Garrett's loyal right-hand in order to pay his debt, pretending to be Grant Ward, specialist to infiltrate S.H.I.E.L.D. She brought out that small part of him that was the real Grant Ward. The Grant Ward he'd forgotten still existed. The only time he was really himself was when he was with her and if that wasn't love, then Grant Ward really didn't know what love was.
So when Garrett had threatened her once again he knew he had to betray her just to keep her safe. He wasn't a good man, she was better off without him, and once she knew the truth she'd be better off. But the moment he saw her, waiting for him, fussing over his wounds, the guilt crept back in, the way it had when she'd kissed him. She felt the same way and no matter how much he told himself she deserved better he didn't want to break her heart either.
"I told you, I'm fine," he winced as she pressed antiseptic to his head wound.
Skye gave him a 'honey, don't even' look before wiping at it again. He cringed as Simmons bandaged his broken rib. These damn women were going to smother him to death.
"Stop being such a baby," Skye hissed as she set the liquid stiches in place. "There, you'll be fine for now, take this." She reached for a glass of water and painkillers but he brushed her off.
"Save those for when we really need it."
Her face fell. "Grant-"
"I mean it, Skye; we don't know how long we're going to be in hiding."
Great, now she was upset. He reached out and took her hand. He didn't care that Fitzsimmons were watching them. Grant drew her against his chest and pressed a kiss to her temple. "You're angry."
"Yeah, because you're a stubborn jackass."
He smirked. "I'll tell you what, let's get that drink. After three or four I won't be able to feel anything anyway."
Skye let out an annoyed chuckle before rolling her eyes. "Fine." She threw his shirt at him before leaving the room.
Grant slipped it out, doing his best to ignore the pain. "Simmons, thanks," he muttered before following after Skye.
"My God…" he heard Fitz say.
"You owe me twenty pounds."
Grant chuckled with a shake of his head. He followed Skye into her room. He glanced around, thinking this place was a trip. The paintings were a bit much but it was better than those cramped pods they had on the bus.
"Do you have a drinking problem or were you expecting me?"
Skye took a seat and shook her head. "After I knew you were safe I figured you owed me a drink and unless you want to have it in the very lovely cafeteria-"
"Here is fine."
Grant took his drink and stared into the glass. He knew he needed that password. If he didn't get it, Skye was in danger. If he did get it, he'd be betraying her. There was no easy solution to his problem.
"Grant?"
Hearing her speak his name broke his heart. "Skye…I'm not a good man."
She cocked her head to the side and watched him, her face full of concern. "Grant-"
"I mean it, I've done things. Killed people. Nash wasn't the first and he won't be the last. I'm not like you, Skye. You're good. You're…you deserve better."
"You're good," she insisted.
"Not always; rarely, actually."
"Grant-"
Grant stood. "I should go." He couldn't do this. He'd done horrible things in his life but hurting this one girl was the one thing he was incapable of doing. Skye caught him by the arm and when he met her face he wanted to confess everything.
"I'm a big girl, I know what I want and it's you; scars and all."
How was she capable of rendering him speechless?
Skye led him to the edge of the bed where he sat and tried not to look at her. How did he tell her? Hey, sweetheart, by the way, I'm a double agent and I was sent to get that password or kill you and since I don't want to kill you can you maybe just give it to me? Maybe not.
She pressed her hand to his cheek as she moved closer to him.
"I know it's hard, Grant, doing what you do. I see it in May and in Trip; it's not easy having to make those calls." She took a seat in his lap and turned his face so he was forced to look at her. "I know you think the darkness in you is going to scare me away but there's light in you too and it outshines all of the bad."
"Skye…you're wrong about me," he whispered as he took her hand. She was so small and fragile and his mind kept flashing back to her lying in that chamber, dying. He was never going to let that happen again. She was the only thing that was real, the only thing that mattered; he had to find a way to hurt her now so he could save her later.
"I'm not wrong."
"How do you know that?"
She smiled. "Because I know your heart, Grant, and I love you."
And that what the moment she broke him.
Grant moved a hand to her hair and pressed his lips to hers desperately. He wanted to be the man she thought he was, the man she loved. He couldn't tell her the man she loved didn't exist. He wanted to instead find a way to be that man, to be someone who deserved her. He wanted to be her hero, instead of depending on her to be his anchor.
She was right about his darkness but the light there wasn't his, it was all her. She was the only good thing about him and he would die to keep her safe.
Without breaking the kiss, Grant gently lowered Skye to the mattress. She slid her arms around his neck and wrapped her legs around his waist while he dug his hands into hers and deepened the kiss, never wanting to let her go.
Skye broke away first, breathless. Grant trailed his fingers up her side before slowly unbuttoning her shirt, unwilling to stop. "You're beautiful," he whispered as her shirt fell from her shoulders. Skye reached between them and tugged his shirt up before discarding it. Her lips were on his again, her fingers massaging through his hair as she arched her back, pressing her body against his. He moaned into her mouth, completely entranced.
"I love you," Grant whispered. He could taste his own tears and he didn't care. "The only happy memories I have are with you. No matter what happens, you need to know that you're everything."
"Shh," she whispered as she caressed his face. "I love you, too."
"You deserve better-"
"No, I deserve you. You're not the only one carrying, scars, Grant. You believed in me when no one else would give me the chance and you're one of the reasons I'm going to keep fighting."
Grant covered her mouth with his just to keep himself from saying too much. She was in love with a monster and she didn't know it, but she would, and he was selfish enough to be with her before he destroyed her. He needed her and he'd denied himself the chance to be happy too many times to count.
They peeled off their layers of clothing slowly, their lips never breaking apart. Her fingers trailed over his ribcage, eliciting a small cry of pain from him. Skye sat up and whispered for him to get on his back while carefully climbing on top of him. This was not how he wanted to make love to her; broken and bloody with him incapable of doing everything he wanted to her but this was the only chance they'd have.
He pulled Skye down by the back of her neck and kissed her once more. His fingertips traced the inside of her thighs before finding her wet center. Her breath hitched as he slipped two fingers into her and pressed his thumb against her hard clit. She rode his hand as he brought down his second hand to massage her breasts. Her tiny moans were enough to get him hard.
Grant stopped short of letting her finish. "Come here, sweetheart," he encouraged, guiding her to his cock. His lips sought hers as she lowered herself onto him. He moaned into her mouth and moved with her, ignoring the pain in his ribs. He'd fucked plenty of women and the occasional man when the job required it, but he'd never made love to anyone. And if he was being honest, she was the one making love to him
He held back, making sure she came before allowing himself to lose control with her. She was on her back again as he finished, the combination of her and the pain in his body spurring him on.
Afterward she held him, her lips trailing kisses over her temple.
"You're a good man, Grant," she whispered, trying to comfort him.
"Not compared to you. I'm not sure of anything, anymore, Skye, except for you.
They were kissing again and his fingers with in her hair, pulling her closer, and he began to wonder if he could get away with making love to her one final time when an angry voice filled the room.
"Clothes. On. Now."
He was quick to cover her body before glancing back to find a very a pissed off Coulson and disapproving May standing in the doorway.
"Do you mind, A.C.? We're busy."
"Clothes. Now." This time is was May.
Skye wasn't fazed; in fact she looked positively giddy. There was a grin on her face and she had a lovely post-sex glow and fuck, how was she even more beautiful now than she was this morning?
"Skye, now."
This time Coulson wasn't messing around. She sighed and shooed them out before pressing her lips to his once more and searching for her clothes.
"You missed a button," Grant whispered as he slipped his shoes on. She glanced down to where her bra was saying 'hello' to the world and shrugged.
"I'll be right back, don't worry, we're not breaking any rules, it's not like S.H.I.E.L.D. exists anymore, right? I'll calm A.C. down."
Grant pulled her down to him and kissed her one final time before. He knew he had to search the room for the password, not that she was stupid enough to write it down, but he had to try. Garrett would kill her for it and he couldn't keep her safe here. No, she would be safer if he stayed where he belonged, in the darkness, keeping her safe from behind enemy lines.
She returned minutes later, her face red. She'd been crying. Great, it was already starting.
"Want me to talk to h-"
"Koenig needs us in the lab. We have to go through some initiation thing before they'll let us stay here."
He nodded and followed her down the hallway. He took note of the time as they entered the room and withheld a sigh. He had twelve hours left. What if he just…told her the truth? No, she would insist he stay with the team, turn sides again, and then Garrett would find a way to hurt her again. And he'd keep coming, when they least expected it.
He'd get the password, somehow.
"What is this?"
Koenig explained about the lie detector and Grant's heart raced. Everyone was going to know his secrets. He wouldn't have to make up his mind about anything, she was going to know everything anyway.
"So, who wants to go first?"
And of course, his girl would be the one to do it, with a grin on her face. She had nothing to hide. Sure, she'd wiped her slate clean, twice now, but only to have a new start. Aside from her initial secrets, she was an open book.
"What is your full name?"
Skye gnawed on her lower lip and her face began to fall. She was realizing this was going to be harder than she thought.
"Agent Skye-"
"It's Mason. Agent Mason. The name they gave me at the orphanage was Schuyler Mason, but it's just Skye now. I didn't want some name they gave me just so I'd have one; I wanted one I could give myself."
The guilt really began to settle in then as the machine whirred and results he couldn't understand began to print out.
"Good. Would you like to button that shirt before we continue?"
She glanced down with blush and did so quickly before meeting Grant's eyes.
"You don't feel any shame, do you?" Jemma muttered, flabbergasted.
"Nope."
"Continuing-"
Koenig asked her questions pertaining to the Rising Tide, her loyalties to the team, to S.H.I.E.L.D., to Coulson. Deciding she wasn't a Hydra agent sent to infiltrate the team she was given a lanyard and then it was Grant's turn.
"Sir-"
"Now, Ward."
Coulson was calling the shots.
Grant took a set and deployed every tactic he'd been taught to pass one of these. He wasn't as good as Romanoff but he was close. If this test had managed to best her then he was fucked but if it hadn't, then maybe he could manage to get out of here before they all knew the truth, before Skye could be put in danger again.
He went through the first few warm-up questions just fine but then it was time for the ones that could make him or break him.
"Are you loyal to Hydra?"
"No."
Koenig glanced at the results before continuing. Grant almost sighed in relief.
"Are you fully committed to S.H.I.E.L.D.?"
"Yes."
The machine beeped and he clenched his fist. He met Skye's eyes and they were filled with fear.
"Who are you loyal to, Agent Ward?"
"S.H.I.E.L.D."
"See, the machine says that's a lie. Now, I'm going to ask you again. Are you working for another organization?"
"No."
"Then have you lost your faith in S.H.I.E.L.D.?"
"No."
"Then who are you loyal to, Agent Ward?"
Well, fuck.
"Skye," he said without thinking. She blinked in surprise and he realized it was the truth. He didn't give a damn about loyalties, she was the only thing he cared about. "I'd betray S.H.I.E.L.D. in a heartbeat if it meant keeping her safe."
He tore his eyes away from her and the team didn't exactly look surprised.
"Grant-"
"Great, you're specialist's been compromised by a girl, Coul-"
"Move on, Koenig. I'm well aware of Agent Ward's feelings."
The rest of the team passed and they were all given crappy lanyards and told they could stay. Grant left the team, needing a moment alone from their stares.
"Grant?"
He turned to find Skye watching him.
"Did you mean that?"
"Clearly."
She sighed in annoyance and took his hand.
"I…" He closed his eyes. Crap, this was it; he had to do it now. "I have to confess something."
"What?" She whispered, her voice breaking.
"The harddrive…I lost it in the fight at the Fridge. I'm sorry, I should have told you sooner-"
"It's okay. I encrypted it."
"I don't think it will be hard for Hydra to break the password, Skye."
She smiled.
"There is no one password, Grant. Each file is encrypted with a unique password. No one but me is getting into those files."
His face fell.
No, no, this was bad.
"Oh my, God…" she whispered and let go of his hand. She knew. "Coulson was right…" She backed away from him and he panicked. That was why she'd been crying; Coulson had found him out, but how?
"You solve a lot of puzzles in your day, sir?"
And he knew. The one thing he'd been able to feed Garrett that couldn't be found in Coulson's files. He'd made a mistake.
"Skye, it's not what you think-"
"Did you sleep with me to get the password?"
"No! Skye, he's going to kill you if I don't come back with it. I just want to keep you safe!"
"I believed in you!" And then her gun was on him, an Icer, but it still hurt like a bitch when she shot him in the kneecap. The building rattled and her eyes went big. "You told them we were here."
"Go, make a run for it, take the team, I'll hold them off!"
"Why should I believe you?"
"Because I love you, you insufferable pain in my ass!" He found the strength to get to his feet and pull her to him. He kissed her and it wasn't sweet or romantic; it was rough and final. "Now go! Those are the guns outside, they don't know where the entrance is, you can get out of here alive!"
She gave him one final look; a mix of contempt, confusion, and love before making a run for it.
Grant leaned against the wall for support and fished his gun out of his holster. An Icer wasn't enough, he needed a real gunshot wound to explain how he'd let them get away. He didn't care about Hydra or S.H.I.E.L.D. or if Skye hated him; he was going to keep her safe.
This was the real Grant; a man who would do whatever it took to keep the woman he loved alive. He was both the monster Hydra had trained him to be and the damaged agent Coulson was so desperate to save but he was also more. And he knew that now, because of her.
Grant fired a round into his leg and fell in a pool of his own blood. He cursed and made a vow to kill Garrett to keep Skye safe; he owed him but he owed Skye more.