Just a little something I wrote a while ago about one of my favorite TV couples: Tori and Beck. Hope you like it!
Forever
"I'm getting married!" she says with the most vibrant liveliest smile you've ever seen drawn on her face, and you stare, and stare, and stare for what it feels like an eternity –never blinking, not even once, trying to decipher her expression; trying to get a hint, a sign, something that lets you know she is not being serious, that this is not for real. But it is, and you suddenly feel like the most miserable man on earth. You feel your world crumbling down; the ground beneath your feet cracking; your dreams shatter, and everything you came to know and cherish doesn't make sense anymore. You wonder how you are going to make things go back to the way they were and if you'll ever have the strength to do so. All those things come to your mind in the following seconds after her revelation. You still manage to smile back weakly though, but nothing more.
You're an actor, but so is she, so your reaction does not go unnoticed by her and she looks at you with a glint of confusion in her beautiful mahogany eyes. Discretely –or so you think, you look away and fix your gaze on a suddenly interesting spot in nowhere. "Beck? Aren't you happy?" she asks trying to meet your eyes, but you look in yet another direction; "Of course I am" you reply in the most unconvincingly happy way you could manage to get out, and you make a mental note to take more acting lessons –ones that actually work in cases like these; although you don't think that that would ever be possible. Now she knows something is wrong and you curse yourself for being such a bad performer.
Everything turns deadly silent and it remains like that for a few minutes. You feel her eyes on you, and you get anxious because you know that since day one she has been able to read you, and you know that this time she'll do it as well for you are sure she can see the heartbreak in your eyes; that she can see the love.
She bites her lower lip and takes your hand to lead you to the nearest bench; you both sit, totally stiff not knowing what to say. She still has a hold on your hand and is tenderly caressing your palm; why does she have to make it so difficult? Why does she have to make you love her even in moments like these?
Time passes and you still say nothing. She stands up after a while, and you feel the urgency to take her hand and pull her to you so you can hold her forever, and never let go. But you are –always have been, a coward when it comes to her, so you just watch her walk away. "It's too late, isn't it?" you dare to ask; words completely slipping from your lip. She stops and turns to give you one last look. You can tell she's surprised, but she only purses her lips together and stares at you as sadly as you believe is possible, and you hold your breath.
She comes back to you and places both of her hands on either side of your face, so that you are forced to look at her; "Why are you doing this to me?" she asks you with the slightest reproach in her voice all the while giving you a pleading look that makes your heart break a little bit more for you know you're hurting her, and that's the least you ever wanted. You're messing around with her once more, just like you have been doing for the past five years. You look at her a few more seconds, and then lower your gaze and let out a heavy sigh; "I…" that's all you can say because you don't really know what you should tell her nor what you should do. You weren't prepared for this; you were stupid enough to think that this moment would never arrive, that you would never have to come to terms with your feelings for her. Stupid enough, only enough.
She turns around and walks away from you. "I love you! I love you more than anything! I love you more than anyone will ever love you!" you feel tempted to say, but no more words slip from your lips that day. You simply watch her leave because it is too late. It really is.
Three years go by without you hearing anything from her… lie, you do hear things from her; things like her indeed getting married to that lucky bastard; like her starting a promising career in movies. But in those three years you never ever see her again –because magazine shoots don't count. It's in the year four that you do.
Your mother dies in that year; at the beginning of it. And among all your fuzzy painful memories of her funeral, the one you remember the most is that of someone unexpectedly grabbing hold of your hand; that someone being Tori. All dressed in black, with her dark shades and somber expression, she does not utter a word to you, just never letting go of your hand. It seems as if it all had happened yesterday. As you start regaining consciousness, you realize that it had, and the pain returns all too intense and too real.
You wake up, and it takes you a while to adjust to reality. Your head is resting on someone's lap and that someone is stroking your hair tenderly. The room is dimly illuminated by the moon, so you cannot tell who that person is, thought you have an idea. When the stranger brings its head closer to you and the moonlight hits its face, your suspicions are confirmed. She's no longer a stranger and you smile slightly despite yourself. "I'm glad you got some sleep" she says softly, and smiles –you swear, the sweetest smile in the history of mankind.
Before you know, you are both lying face down on your bed, facing each other. You talk, and talk, and talk for hours, almost whispering each and every word that leaves the lips of both of you. You exchange smiles, and looks and words that seem to ease your grief and that fade away all those nonsensical years of not speaking to each other.
Everything appears to have gotten back to normal for a moment, but you suddenly remember that she has someone else and remind yourself that everything is just an illusion. Unconsciously, you catch a glimpse of her left hand and realize that there's something missing there; "I filed for divorce last year" she tells you as if she had read your mind. She looks at you intently, expectantly; somewhat sheepishly. You look at her with the same or probably more intensity while you fight the urges to reach out for her and hold her; "Are you gonna stay?" you ask her. She reaches out for you and places one of her hands on yours. "Forever" she replies and smiles.
You were wrong before. That's the sweetest smile you've ever seen on her face.
Thanks for reading. Reviews will be more than welcome.