In The End

by Imtellingmyfatheraboutthis

It's been six months since Clint rescued Natasha from her life as The Black Widow. Now living alone in a SHEILD owned room, Natasha is falling into a state of depression, with no one to ask for help. Both Clint and Natasha know that it's best for both of them to keep their distance, but a choice must be made; follow their heart, or do what they know is right? How will it end?

1. Chapter 1

Hi! Hope you are all doing well! Sorry this chapter's a little short, but hopefully you'll enjoy it! If you have time, I'd love it if you wrote a review, just a sentence or so, the good and the bad! Reviews make my day and help my writing improve so much! :) ~Daisy

Chapter 1

I am a mess. I am a ruin, a wreck. Lost, confused, battered, helpless, hopeless, alone and defeated. I feel as though I have only just caught up with my life, I was living in my own emotionless world for so many years, almost ignorant to the devastation I'd caused. I've done such awful things, there is nothing, nothing I can do to get rid of that me. It's what I'm known for. I've gone so far in to this labyrinth of evil that there's no way I can ever find my way out. It's me, I'm a trapped child and a Minotaur all at once. A beast and a victim, eating away at myself.

It's been nearly 6 months since I left in Budapest, I've told SHEILD everything I know, so now I am useless. of course SHIELD can't trust me, but they will look after me, and I can't just go out wandering the world, I'd be shot. So no one trusts me, no one cares about me. I am so alone, as alone as I always have been. My hand trembling, I reach for another bottle on my bedside table. As I pick it up I look at the label, Vodka, it reads. I think of large old gentlemen, of a burning stomach in the cold snow. I think of St Petersburg, I think of Russia.

I release my grip of the bottle and watch it plummet towards the ground and shatter as it hits the floor, letting it spill clear liquid across the cold grey carpet. For a second, I look at the lethal smashed glass among a sea of empty bottles, then I reach onto my table, grab a bottle of gin, unscrew the top and take a swig.

Maybe my entire life caught up with me because of happiness, because when I was in Budapest there were brief moments of joy. For the first time I was happy. I now had something to compare every terrible thing I've done to: a moment where evil was no longer a part of me, an instant where I was free. The moments where I felt happy were with Clint; in Budapest there was Something-with a capital S- between us. I don't know what it was, other than brief. It could never possibly have lasted, the day after we came back he went to his next mission and when he came back a few weeks later, although neither of us said it, we both knew we should forget about whatever it was. And we did: he is Agent Barton, I Natasha, or Miss Romanoff. That's fine.

I haven't seen him even briefly for weeks anyway.

I lean back against the wall, now a messy tangle of sheets. I unscrew the bottle and gulp down some more of whatever alcohol I'm drinking, and whatever it is, it numbs the psychological pain, so it's good for me.

A knock a the door.

'Miss Romanoff?' A voice says, not coldly, but not exactly affectionately either.

It's Clint, I can recognise his voice. What exceptionally bad timing he has.

'Yes?' I reply, trying but failing to keep my voice neutral, even I can hear my voice quiver. I hear him sigh.

'Natasha. You haven't left your room in a week.'

I hear a click and see my door handle slowly turn. He must have got hold of a master key. Dickhead. Clint gradually pushes the door open and peers around the room, presumably at the desert of empty bottles.

'Natasha, are you okay?' He asks me quietly. I can tell he already knows the answer. I begin to nod my head. That's when I burst into tears.

AUTHORS NOTE: THERE YOU GO! HOPE YOU ENJOYED IT! IF YOU'VE GOT TIME A REVIEW WOULD BE SO SUPER AMAZING, EVEN JUST ONE SENTENCE! THANKS!