It had been a few weeks since they had returned from Midvale, although her sister's words still echoed in her head, "And you? Are you better?" She had not even dared to answer the question, as she was fully aware that the words that would have come out of her mouth would have been completely a lie, since she would have claimed to be, even though it was not like that, because in those moments she was the one who should encourage her sister and not the other way around.
However, Was she okay now? That was the question that had to be asked, because she had made her biggest dream come true, so she should be, right? That was what people would expect, but the reality was much more complicated to be happy or, simply, fine. So she had to admit it, she was not okay, even if it was selfish to say it, right now she wished he hadn't come back, at least part of her did, although the other one was calm only because of knowing that he was all right.
The discovery of that ship had done nothing more than raise the alarms, which had led them to investigate it in the same way they always did, perhaps being a little more careful than other times, although nothing, absolutely nothing, could have prepared her for what was going to happen.
She could not say what she felt the moment she saw him, being completely paralyzed while she waited for him to come forward, but he seemed to be in the same situation, only looking at each other as her eyes filled with tears. It could not be him, it must be a dream, it was impossible. She could not say the same when her hands touched his face proving it was him, that he was not going to fade if she touched him, so she embraced him with effusiveness, wanting to keep him with her for as long as possible, but the answer she was waiting for from hid part did not arrive, as he barely hugged her and she thought that, perhaps, it was because he was still processing the situation, however, the coldness had continued for the rest of the day.
She sighed. She remembered having found herself in the same place she was in today, sitting in the couch, but the feeling from yesterday to today was different. Yesterday she had so many questions that she wanted to ask him, that it was hard to decide on one, unable to wait until the next day arrived. But today ..., she still had questions, without being the same as yesterday, being conditioned by everything he had said throughout the day, by everything that he had explained her. At first she had not understood, How could he have changed so much in just seven months? The Mon-el she remembered was not like that, he wouldn't have attacked any agent, he would have relied on her to explain what was happening, but he didn't, even more, he still didn't, because he had hardly explained anything. However, she remembered how he had been upset when she asked him that, as he had shouted that for him it had been seven years, a fact that made his heart clench into a fist, How was that possible? No, it could not be true, it could not have been that long.
She buried her face in her hands holding back tears. Mon-el, the one she knew, who she had put on that pod, which she had seen seven months ago in a tearful farewell, was not the same one that had returned on that ship, since he came from the future, where it had passed seven years instead of months.
She must have recognized that she had been angry the moment she saw the necklace on his neck, because she did not understand why to continue wearing it when he was not even able to trust her. However, she was able to remember his words, "You have to believe that no matter what century or Universe or World I'm living in, that I would never forget you, never", which, had made her look at him truly thrilled, but that again she had taken another blow when she had believed that they could have a second chance. "She's Imra Ardeen ..., my wife" he had whispered as tears welled up in her eyes as she tried to understand what she had just heard, wanting to avoid crying in front of him, but not being able to contain herself for more time, so after trying to smile when he introduced them, she had to apologize and leave.
Right now the tears could not be contained any longer, she had been a dreamer during these last two days and she should have known that she shouldn't have done it, that the coldness with which he was treating her was for some reason, although she would never have imagined that it would have been that.
So why had he come back? What tied him to this century? She did not understand it. He had his life in the future, a life that she would have liked to have with him, but honestly, she was aware that it would not be possible.
For the first time all day she dared to cry, she dared to show herself as she really felt, completely broken, not knowing how in just a few minutes it could change everything, to have smiled sincerely for the first time in months only for him, for the effect he had on her, to have to hold back tears and flee from that situation.
She wiped away the tears that started to slide down her cheeks, believing that she was not made to love or be loved, because she always ended the same, with a broken heart, but unlike the other times, in which she had not hoped that it would turn out well. It had not been like that with Mon-el, maybe at the beginning, because she had to admit that she was nervous about each and every one of the things he did, but she had hoped and believed that they were made for each other, "Romeo & Juliette", a forbidden love if they had continued on their respective planets and, even here, it was. However, where did everything that they had fought stay? That daxamite had managed to steal her heart and return it broken into thousand pieces, which she was not sure if she would be able to join them or if she wanted to do it, because she could not deny it, her heart still belonging to him and that could not change in one day. Maybe this was what she had been waiting for to overcome him as her sister had said a month ago, "Let me help you get over him", moment in which she had not hesitated to get upset, "Get over him? He didn 't dump me, I sent him away ", yes, that was her answer and, the truth is, it was still the same way, but now that she could have proven that he had continued with his life, she should do the same.
She sobbed. She could not help it. Why did she have to feel that way? Rhea's words echoed in her head, "He's under your spell," but what if it was the other way around? What if it was her who was spellbound by him?
She raised her head when she heard the knock on the door, hoping that when she opened the door, he would be there like so many other times, with a mocking smile before saying that it had been a joke. However, she found the comforting arms of her sister, who despite not knowing exactly what had happened, was trying to encourage her and, frankly, she was grateful for it, because she needed it.
Maybe when she was up today she would have thought that her plans for tonight would be with him, but, at the moment, it did not seem like a bad idea having a Sisters' night, they had not done it for a long time and, the truth is, she had missed it.
She shook her head as she looked forward, remembering the words she had said to him, "Shame on me for having a human heart," since she regretted part of her feelings, but it was hard to want to forget them, though, maybe, that would be the best for both.
I don't know how you felt after the last episode, but my heart was completly broken and I cried so much. I knew from a long time ago that he would be married, but that scene was so heartbreaking because you can see Kara's sad eyes filled with tears. So I wrote this about what I think she might felt about everything.
I hoped you liked it, thanks for reading,
Ayrin
