May: Oh noes! May, a ROCKER fanfic? Damn straight!
Summary: Singer Kyuubi and Guitarist Naruto are members of a famous performing group called B.A.N.D. Bad Ass Night Demons, after a near gang-rape the teens' manager and father order up a pair of personal bodyguards for them, but these aren't normal bodyguards, they'rea group of perverts! ItaKyuu. Sasunaru, GaaLee, SasoDei, side pairings include Akatcest and others
Cause I want this fic to be mainly ItaKyuu, populate the fan base!
Also, I'm going to Otakon, this year! Anyone else going?! XD Also! Itachi cosplayers, find Kyuubi cosplayers and make out! And e-mail me pictures, lolz. RESEARCH!
Naruto: 16
Kyuubi: 19
Sasuke: 17
Itachi: 21
Gaara: 17
Lee: 16
Shuukaku: 18
Deidara: 20
Sasori: 22
"OMG, Ino, did you hear?! B.A.N.D. almost got gang-raped by a bunch of fangirls!" a pink-haired girl in a pink halter top with denim jeans and black flip flops informed her blonde-haired friend in a white blouse and jean skirt with brown sandals.
"No way, Sakura, are you kidding?!" Ino replied, thunderstruck. "Don't they have like, bodyguards or something?" she wondered.
"Apparently not before the near-rape, but now they're getting some…we should apply!" Sakura added excitedly, before she remembered "fuck, I forgot, no women allowed…" she muttered. Ino rolled her eyes.
"No shit? Poor Kyuubi-sama'll have a fit!" she giggled. "And can you believe someone tried to rape innocent little Naruto-sama'll?!"
"And how the hell did they pin down Gaara-sama or Shuukaku-sama?" Sakura wondered.
"Sakura. These are fangirls here." Sakura sweatdropped.
"Ah, right…"
"Daddy, I love you, very much…but as lead singer of B.A.N.D, I swear to God, if you shove one of those thick skinned gorillas on me, I will scream myself hoarse!" Kyuubi warned. The teen's long red hair was undone and tumbled down his shoulders to his waist like a waterfall of blood, his matching set of ruby eyes glittered dangerously as he glared at his father, Minato with malicious intent. He was dressed in a black tank top and form-fitting, cream-colored jeans with a few tears marring the knees.
The two were currently battling it out in the B.A.N.D. manor/recording studio.
Minato sighed. The blonde-haired, blue-eyed looked at his eldest child wearily. He was dressed in a blue dress shirt and faded jeans. "Kyuubi-chan, I understand how independent you like to be, but after that little fiasco I'm afraid I have no choice, but I assure you, your new bodyguard won't be a 'thick skinned gorillas' as you put it, in fact, they're the children of some close friends of mine-"
"Children?! Did I hear plural?! I'm getting two gorillas?!"
"One for you, the others for Naruto and the others, along with some spares, and you're getting a bodyguard-" Kyuubi glared at Minato darkly.
"Try me."
"-Or I go and tell your mother about that one time you came home with a-"
"Alright, alright! Fuck, old man, you're a sadist."
"No cursing!" Minato snapped, smacking Kyuubi upside the head. "Your bodyguards'll be here in a few days., until then, try not to leave the house!" Kyuubi rolled his eyes.
"Uhuh, uhuh." 'Like hell' Inner Kyuubi added on, fox tails waving devilishly.
"I'm serious Kyuubi, or your mother will find out about that one time when you left the manor and went-"
"Oh my God! I hate you!" Kyuubi snarled, twisting around and leaving the room, slamming the door shut behind him.
Minato leaned back in his chair, heaving another sigh "Why can't he be like Naruto..?"
Several Days Later
"Kyuu-nii, Kyuu-nii, Kyuu-nii, Kyuu-nii, Kyuu-nii, Kyuu-nii, Kyuu-nii, Kyuu-nii, Kyu-"
"WHAT?" Kyuubi grit out, dressed in a loose black tunic and tight, dark brown capris (lolz).
"…Are our bodyguards mean?" Naruto asked. The blonde, blue-eyes boy was dressed in an orange hoody with black shorts, sitting on the couch next to his brother. Naruto stared at his brother innocently, tilting his head to the side. Kyuubi's eye twitched before he threw the magazine he was reading against the opposite wall.
"I DON'T KNOW! JESUS CHRIST! I DON'T CARE EITHER! THOSE MOTHERFUCKING GORRILLAS CAN TRY AND KEEP UP WITH ME!" Kyuubi screamed, jumping up and stomping to the door of the den. "…And don't cry, it's not your fault." He clipped to a teary Naruto before stepping out.
Naruto sniffled, wiping at his eyes. "But you yelled at me…" he whined to no one in particular.
"Naruto…" a calm voice muttered. Naruto blinked away a few more tears.
"Eh? What is it, Gaara?" he asked the red-haired bass player. Gaara was dressed in a black muscle shirt and matching jeans, he was sitting on the beige carpet floor with his back to the wall, a book in his hands.
Gaara rolled his eyes. "He's just pissed off cause some leech is going to stick to us all the time now." Gaara's older brother, Shuukaku, snorted.
The tan-haired, purple streaked, drummer grinned, dressed in a purple tank top and white jeans sat on the white leather couch near Gaara. "Please…they might be able to stick to Naru-chan, but Kyuu-kun'll give 'em a run for their money, me too." He added, looking to Gaara "You?" Gaara gave him a look as to say 'No shit?'
Naruto pouted "I dun wanna a leech sticking to me!" he whined, tearing up again.
Gaara and Shuukaku sweatdropped 'Here we go again...' they thought in unison.
"This the place?" a young voice muttered.
"Yes, little brother, it is." An older sounding, highly amused voice answered. "Okay team, the voice continued. "Be warned, the red head with long hair has a flash temper and smacks like a bitch when you've just bought the last pair of the shoes she wanted."
The group flinched.
"The red high heels."
"Shit! Do we have to do this, yeah?!" a scared voice with a speech impairment whimpered.
"The pay's noticeable." A calm voice stated.
"Anyway." The amused voice continued "The shorter red head doesn't sleep, hence the reason we brought "it"." He shuddered.
"Yosh!" "It" cried.
"Shut UP." The group snapped.
"The blonde with purple streaks isn't as bad as either red head, but he's still formidable."
"Uhuh."
"And the last person, also blonde, no streaks is-"
"-so kawaii!" the first voice cooed.
"…Little brother, enjoy." The once amused voice sighed.
"Shanaro!"
"…That's it?"
"Yup."
"Then ring the goddamn bell, we've been out here for ten minutes!" a voice snapped irritably.
"No bad language around the kawaii blonde." The first voice snapped.
Kyuubi glared darkly as the front door rang. Why did everything have to stand in between him and his goddamn room!? He stomped up to the door and yanked it open.
"Get the fuck away!" he snarled, slamming the door shut, not even looking at the stunned group of people outside his home. He spun around and successfully stomped up the first few stairs before Minato ran into the Grand Hall.
"…Flash temper red head? Un?" a muffled voice behind the door asked.
"Yup."
"He's lucky he's so cute."
"Mine."
"Kyuubi, who was that?!" Minato asked breathlessly. Kyuubi gave him a dark look.
"…Salesman." He snapped. Minato rolled his eyes, walking to the front door and opening it.
"I'm sor- Oh! It's you! Everyone! Gather!" Minato called, Naruto, Gaara and Shuukaku walking into the room. Kyuubi huffed, leaning against the carved staircase railing, folding his arms over his chest.
"What is it, Daddy?" Naruto asked. Minato smiled, pulling open the door.
"Your new bodyguards!" Minato replied cheerfully.
Naruto and Gaara blinked.
Shuukaku stared.
And Kyuubi flat out gaped.
"Uchiha?!" Kyuubi shrieked, jumping off the staircase and walking up to the amused brunette.
Itachi's long black hair was tied in the typical loose ponytail, his blood red eyes narrowed in amused at Kyuubi's shocked face. He was dressed in a red blazer and a black dress shirt with the first button undone, the collar flipped up and a pair of black slacks.
"Long time no see, Kyuu-chan." Itachi greeted in a clearly 'bed voice' manner. Kyuubi blinked before giving out another yell and attempting to shove Itachi back out the door.
And at a head shorter with a slimmer frame and much less muscle, he failed.
"Out! Out! OUT!" Kyuubi screamed, pulling back and attempting to ram his foot into Itachi's stomach. The Uchiha quickly caught the flying foot by the ankle.
"Same as ever…" the Uchiha muttered, sharply jerking the foot up, causing Kyuubi to lose his balance and fall onto his back with a grunt.
Naruto, Gaara and Shuukaku stared.
Minato looked peachy keen.
No one had ever managed to pin Kyuubi…ever…beside those fangirls, but that was an army, people. But this one guy did it, with one hand?!
Shuukaku gulped, studying the rest of the group, hoping the others weren't as strong as this guy. 'This could be harder than I thought…';
Some mini-version of the first guy with a chicken-ass hair style in a black hoody and cargo pants.
A blonde, gender confused man, woman, something, in a red t-shirt with white long sleeves underneath and black, skater jeans.
A red-haired guy in a black t-shirt, red vest and black slacks.
And…Shuukaku blinked from the sudden assault on his vision. A green…thing…with a bowl cut and huge eyebrows was grinned brightly at the group.
Suddenly, Chicken Boy took a step forward. Shuukaku and Gaara blinked, glancing at Naruto who'd taken a step back.
Chicken Boy stepped forward.
Naruto stepped back.
Suddenly, Naruto turned tail and sprinted up the staircase, Chicken Boy shooting up after him.
"Leave me alone, Sukebe!!(1)" Naruto screamed, flailing his arms, reaching the top of the staircase and turning to the corner to the hallway where his room was seconds before "Sukebe" himself.
"Ah…" Gaara sweatdropped, blinking as a bright green filled his vision.
"Yosh! Gaara-san! My name is Rock Lee and it's an honor to be guarding you from the evil in this world! Please, allow me to pledge my life for your protection as such is an expression of YOUTH!!" Lee stated, bowing to the red head.
"…the fuck?" Gaara stared at the bowing Green…Thingy before following Naruto's great example and mad sprinting to his room.
Lee blinked, straightening, watching as Gaara reached the top of the staircase.
"GAARA-SAAAAANNNNN! I NEED YOU TO ACCEPT MY PLEDGE OF PROTECTIOOOONNNNNN!!" Lee cried, shooting up the staircase after the red head.
"Stay the hell away from me!"
Shuukaku looked at the last remaining members of the group.
The red head and blonde.
The red head sighed, looking at Shuukaku, who flinched. "Yo, the name's Sasori and this is my bitch, Deidara" he motioned at the pissed blonde next to him.
"Now wait just a-"
"We work together as a couple, now, if you don't sneak off and shit, the two of us are pretty flexible, but if we have to chase your ass around there'll be pain, got me?" Sasori raised a brow. Shuukaku nodded rapidly.
"I-I'll be upstairs…in my room…" Shuukaku stuttered, turning and running up the stairs.
"Danna! You're mean! Yeah!" Deidara whined. Minato sweatdropped, deciding now was a good time to play host.
"You guys hungry?" he asked.
"Hell yeah! Hmm!" Deidara cheered, throwing both hands in the air.
"Well, then, to the kitchen! Oh, by the way, where are Kisame and the others?" Minato asked, leading Sasori and Deidara.
"Kisame's cousin, Zabuza called and asked to borrow the Shark Man for a bit, Hidan, Kakuzu and Tobi went with him."
"Oh, Zabuza-san? Haku-kun's personal bodyguard?" Minato asked. Deidara nodded.
"If by Haku you mean the "Ultra Popular Super Pop Star Haku", then yes, you're right. Unn."
"Then what about Zetsu and the rest?"
"Protecting the president's kid." Sasori replied in a bored manner. Minato sweatdropped.
Itachi and Kyuubi barely noticed the lack of people in the hallway, the two were dead set on glaring at each other till the other wilted.
Kyuubi's feet were currently trying to slam into Itachi's crotch and Itachi's hands were currently preventing that.
"Let. Go." Kyuubi grit out.
"You relax your legs first." Itachi replied calmly. Kyuubi growled, relaxing his legs, Itachi released the red head's feet, taking a step back for safety purposes.
"Take your perverted brother, Green Blob, and company away!" Kyuubi huffed, standing up and turning to walk up the staircase. "And leave me alone!" he snapped. Itachi sighed, following Kyuubi to the stairwell. Kyuubi, a few steps above Itachi, turned and glared down at him. "Are you deaf?"
"Are you stupid? Wait, let me rephrase that." Itachi added sarcastically.
"Jerk!" Kyuubi shouted, turning and running up the stairs, before rounding the corner and running into his room, slamming the door behind him.
Itachi sighed, scratching his head in an annoyed manner. "Yes, you are stupid, Uchiha." He muttered.
1) Sukebe is translated to pervert in Japanese…or so a valuable source has informed me, lolz, SUKEbe, lolz
And on a completely random topic SaSUKE!
May: Yes, Itachi-sama, why are you stupid?...What? Do you seriously think I know? Well, maybe, but I'm not sharing such a secret yet!
And yes, ItaKyuuness shall be a little angsty, but that's what the side pairings are for!
And yes, Haku and B.A.N.D. are buddies, they've even done a few songs together, what songs you ask?...I'm working on it, I'm not meant to be a lyricist, despite my amazing ability to rework many classic songs such as "Oh where, oh where…" and "the itsy, bitsy spider." Lolz, if you haven't found those rewrites, then read my other fanfics!
REVIEW FOR MAY-CHAN'S HAPPYNESS!