Title: My Buddy Bud
Author: UgzY
Rating: PG
Pairing: None
Category: Humour, Silliness, POV
Season: Season 8
Warning: Grab a cool one before you read this, you'll get the whole meaning! ;-)
And if you're a Teetotal, I'm not too sure you'll like this one.
Summary: Don't ever come between a man and his Bud!
Author's note: You'll have to excuse me on this one, it comes straight from a sleep deprived mind and even worse, a beer deprived body!
I just thought it would be fun to mix two of my favourite hobbies in life, watching Stargate and drinking beer! ;-)
I have to confess that any ranting about the French people has been done on purpose; I just needed to let off steam!
But there's not a lot you can do or say about it… I'm one of these French ;-)
Once more, I'm still not an English native speaker, so any constructive criticism will be welcomed! One learns from their mistakes!
And, last but definitely not least, a big thank you to Su Freund for putting up with my crazy ideas and even smiling at them!
Disclaimer: Nope, even after a couple of cool ones, through a blurry vision, I still realise they're not mine, I'll be a nice girl and hand them back when I'm finished playing with them!
"You don't buy a beer, you rent it"
- Very old and silly alcoholic proverb –
I was pissed off, well maybe not as pissed off as… ok, I was pissed off!
I mean, how had he dared?
Challenging me, questioning my choice, deciding I was wrong without even trying to see my reasoning.
That's it, next time he'll be his own, no more backing-up, no more Please Jack I need your help…
I mean come on, I'm General Jack O'Neill… maybe not the smartest pencil in the pot, but I'm still a pencil!
I might still have some frozen cells from my little vacation in the freezer back in Antarctica, but I could recognize one good thing when I saw one… and Budweiser was one of them!
It's always the same, I don't even know why I bother anymore, but I still do!
Every time we have an alpha male evening, with poker, snacks and beer, Jerry calls me to whine about not having the time to go and get the beer… so the nice guy I am goes grocery shopping… and of course, I pay, I choose… so Bud it is!
And every single time it ends up the same, fighting over the brand of beer I brought!
I mean come on… wanna chose your booze? Then buy it!
Budweiser is piss, or so they keep telling me… strong as a coke, tasty as tap water…
I'll admit it's just some kind of brewed water, but that's good water! What's the point in drinking something that will turn your guts upside down just by the taste of it… drink Whisky if you want something strong… beer is… a refreshing beverage… for men… or at least grown-ups!
I have this funny (not!) picture in my mind of Carter kicking my ass over this macho comment!
Anyway… so beer is supposed to be refreshing, and a Bud is just as refreshing as the next one, so what's the problem with my choice?
I mean I'm not stubborn or anything, I did try some other brands, hell, even foreign brands, but every time I go back to the comfort and familiarity of the red and white label.
I tried Heineken once… it's not too bad, though a little too bitter for my liking. See… I didn't say anything bad about it, and I heard it's a Dutch beer, in Europe!
Daniel would be proud of me on this one… well except if I told him how I know about this country… but jeez… it's legal to smoke pot over there!
Anyway, it's not that I don't enjoy the taste of it, but well… actually I don't, it's as simple as that!
I mean, it's definitely too bitter!
So I labelled this one as non suitable for O'Neill and went for another one… Guinness… now, now that's a family tradition!
See, us Irish guys have this little thing called pride, and we tend to like everything coming from our roots.
But I guess my roots are just too far away from me to really appreciate this tradition!
For cryin' out loud, if I want to eat, then I take something I can actually chew, not some kind of smoothly soup!
Yes, I do drink it from time to time… stubborn is another Irish streak!
But I wouldn't recommend it if you're just thirsty, it's not refreshing at all!
So that's one more off the list of possible choices for a alpha male evening… what's the point in buying snacks anyway if you have a all-in-one beer? You'll just end up chocking to death and desperately looking for something refreshing… enter Budweiser!
After my little trip to hell and back in this lovely sandy country whose name will remained unmentioned… anyway, so I was transported back to Germany for a while; a looong while.
After they stopped feeding me with soup, nutritive powders, then some kind of baby food and then finally stopped feeding me altogether, I could enjoy a cold one!
So I went out one day with some friends of misfortune and headed for the nearest bar, partly because of our eagerness to quench our thirst, and partly because we were still recuperating. Anyway, once more Daniel would be proud of me, with my better 'Engleutch' accent, I went to a waitress and asked: Ein bier, bitte!
Ok ok, I'll admit it sounds pretty lame, but hey… I had my beer so it wasn't too bad I guess! That was a Pills Premium, that I do remember! Though I don't really remember the taste of it, it might have been a light one but did you know that a beer in Germany is like asking for a regular coke over here? And they give you a gallon of the stuff!
So with all the innocence of youth you order 4 of them before you actually get the chance to see one and before you know it you're back in the infirmary and you wish you never left it!
So you see… my short lived experience with the German beer is not on top of my favourite memories of my time over there. No, scratch that, it might have been one of my best ones actually!
Okay… so… no Dutch, Irish or German beer is better than my ol' friend Bud!
There is this little drugstore downtown selling all those exotic products from all over the place, even if basically it's just a way to make a lot of money out of non travelling people who want to open their mind to different cultures… but that's kinda too long so it says exotic products!
Anyway, I found a pack of Kronenberg beer. Not one to stay in the dark, I tried to learn about it. I found out it's a French beer brewed on top of a hill called Cronenbourg, but some smart ass decided that spelling it with a K would be fashionable… and some English speaking smart ass thought we wouldn't be able to pronounce it so they changed the name to Kronenberg. Ok, enough already with the History lesson!
That was good beer, kinda reminded me of my Bud, albeit bitterer and stronger. But then I heard in France they do make fun of this beer, or so it seems!
It seems to be a cheap beer for parties… youth nowadays…
And it's not like French people would know about beer anyway! They have wine, not beer!
Not that I am a fan of wine, mind you, but their wine is supposed to be one of the best in whole world. The Asgard might even have heard of it by now!
If that's not arrogant! Just because what… they used to drink wine when we were still… well… when we were still in Europe actually!
I'd have to ask Carter about that one, she likes wine and tend to drool before a bottle of Merlot or Chablis! Oh and while I'm at it I should ask Daniel if we really were still in Europe when they started drinking wine!
Well, I guess my point is, ok, I guess I didn't have a point except that I still prefer to savour a cool Bud when I'm thirsty, or not!
Now, now there is one country whose beer is worth talking about… Belgium
Actually I did learn quite a lot about the country from reading the beer labels… and they say alcohol isn't good for you!
They've got hundreds of beer, light ones, strong ones, lagers, ales… name it, they have!
I've tried only a few of them but each time was a new experience!
Take a Leffe for instance, the regular one is not so good, the draught one is okay, but well… definitely not to die for. But take a Leffe Triple, now that's good booze! Strong but refreshing, the Leffe Brune has this light taste of apple definitely appealing. As for the Leffe Radieuse, a subtle taste of fruits, strong beer but not overly, all in all a good beer with snacks.
But you see, that's not a beer you want to drink when you're thirsty, that's a beer you'll savour slowly, taking little sips at a time and letting the flavour explode on your tongue. How's that as poetic crap?
But I'm babbling here! Hey, now I have this picture of Daniel getting bored with my incessant rambling.How highly unthinkable!
Back to the matter at hand… I do love my fresh Budweiser drunk straight from the bottle in my backyard on a sunny afternoon. How's that as a cliché!
So yep, next time, Jerry's bringing the booze, but I'll make sure he'll buy Bud. He who pays doesn't always choose, after all, and being a General has its perks!
The End.