Pokémon starter conspiracy (a fan work for universe expansion)

You hear so much today about how Professor Oak is the leader of all the gangs yet shown in the Pokémon universe, and perhaps you may of heard of the clever arrangement of starting letters from each of these teams to create the word Grampz, Gary's nickname for his mentor. All are quite clever and I have seen their fans and their critics respectively, but one thing I have yet to see is the true story as to where professor oak gets all of his starters from, and so starts the entire reason of this document.

Let's start with the mystery dungeon world, a place where humans are the stuff of legend and despite continuous exploration the entire reality remains in a continuous unknown state. People who travel this world formerly had to go through a quiz and perhaps an 'aura' identification process where their ideal Pokémon form will only rarely be recognised. This set up has been dropped recently and in its place is now a character select screen where Pokémon forms can be chosen at leisure. But all this is descriptive talk of things you all probably know by now, but one thing does remain a mystery to most people, what is the identity of the quiz master in all previous mystery dungeon games?

Some people may argue that it is the voice of the world (Hydreigon) and that his existence as a character was anticipated since the start of the first mystery dungeon game, to that I say it is as probably unlikely as what I may say now. I believe Professor Oak is the quiz master and to that I hold several pieces of evidence that every Pokémon fan must relate too.

First off, the quiz master starts the quiz by asking the question 'are you a boy or a girl?' understandable because gender does generally these days mean something in Pokémon these days, namely in Pokémon breeding. Now that for a start this is a meme for professor oak that he does not know the gender of a person just by looking at them, he has to ask and he does this in place of every Pokémon game professor to date. Even if this isn't true and I screwed up, you'd imagine this has only ever been done by the professors themselves which tie them in to the unfolding plot I will now reveal.

Another mystery in the Pokémon games is where the professors get the starter Pokémon from? In all the games it is explained away as the Pokémon were found in distant lands and in all classic games not a single starter can actually be found in the wild anywhere. But they can be found in the form of people in the Mystery dungeon world, and think about it a Pokémon professor sets a trap in some remote place in the woods someone finds it and they are drugged and then quizzed by professor oak who then transports them to the mystery dungeon world in Pokémon form. Drawing from the supplies of new starters created in this manner the professors boast the only wild source of starters known to Pokémon, and what's more every Pokémon professor is in on the act.

Distributing former people as Pokémon after being force fed vile seeds to reduce them to level 5 if they levelled up during their time in the mystery dungeon world, the professors give these people to aspiring trainers who then battle for supremacy with other trainers completely unaware of their Pokémon's former identity. All the professors would have to do is appear benevolent and give some simple advice and the trainers will look up to them as spiritual advisors role models while the professors shall see themselves as the anonymous government which runs everything in this seemingly anarchistic world.

And why would that not be the case? In other conspiracy stories you hear who nurse joys reproduce by kidnapping and transforming other people into more of them, you hear stories of how Officer Jenny must have been cloned for there to be so many identical versions of the iconic appearance. If you look closely you realise there is not much of a lower class in the Pokémon world, you don't see beggars on the street or indeed much crime beyond the actions of the regional teams if that much. How can such a well off civilisation sustain itself like this without some sort of invisible slave labour? Once again the Pokémon transformation story springs to mind, and you don't see much shortage of Pokémon doing work for people either, even if we can assume that some of them are actually wild Pokémon with a friendship developed for their respective human.

Speaking of artificially created Pokémon there are a lot of Pokémon that apparently are created by people and that information is readily available on the pokedex as you catch these creatures, you don't actually ever find out who or what created these Pokémon anywhere in the franchise. But we can assume that whatever it was someone wanted to create Pokémon either as weapons, Labour, pets but very probably all three are true. It's easy to imagine that if team rocket can create Mewtwo then people like Professor Oak used to, or still create artificial Pokémon, like some sort of Umbrella corporation only in the Pokémon world instead. What if these experiments were the predecessor to the transformations from people to starter Pokémon in the mystery dungeon world?

A lot of people reading this may have already read the story of how Professor Oak actually leads all the teams so I will just summarise it here for the convenience of those who haven't. If all the teams obey their individual leaders and those leaders secretly follow the orders of the professors, they can feign being the bad guys while the trainers battle their minions believing more and more that their professors are on the side of good and therefore more subject to their will once they project it. This makes the Professors the invisible government and the teams their PR machine keeping their control out of the evident limelight.

Regarding the existence of so many identical versions of Officer Jenny and Nurse joy, if professor Oak has indeed perfected genetic manipulation to turn one living thing into another it stands to reason that he knows how to replicate people too. Isn't it strange that that there are two different families with impossibly large numbers of exactly identical people that maintain between themselves the entire police force and health care respectively and with no other interest? They could either be zombies, clones or disgustingly yet surprisingly good looking results of rampant selective incest. Knowing how repulsive that last option is I am going with the first two options for the sake of good taste. But one way or the other these two families act as the front line for their respective trade practically everywhere, and how else could that be possible without some sort of external influence assigning them all to separate towns and cities away from each other.

Now some of the critics that are crying foul because in some Pokémon game I haven't played yet does actually have Pokémon in the wild, I don't know maybe ranger although I never owned it myself. I am going to say that if Pokémon like the starters evolved naturally shouldn't they be absolutely everywhere? Or if they are in limited quantity on some remote region only, how can there be enough of them to reliably support an entire fan base of players seeking to explore the Pokémon universe? Unless someone puts forward a theory on how starter Pokémon are actually battery farmed by the Pokémon professors I am sticking with my own opinion on the matter. Personally I think my theory supports a lot more possible answers if you would pardon the self-assessment.

Now if we start projecting into the real world we start seeing what in this world would be described as a propaganda video showing an ideal world without need for government no crime and a friendly professor to give you a starter Pokémon to get started. We see a beautiful flawless landscape filled with colourful people and fantastic cities each with challenges in the form of gyms and sights of their own in cultural landmarks. What we don't see are the downtrodden nearly ritually dragged away to be transformed outside of the screen, we are kept out of the buildings and locations that we should not be seeing like the cloning vats, or the local repression buildings where the execute the 'Traitors' and kept to the tourist areas. Oh no! There's a group of evil people called team (insert name here) and they threaten our perfect world! Please defeat them because we can't ourselves. It pretty much sums it up, need they only have to keep up the niceties briefly as you play like a cubicle office call centre, or local tour master of North Korea.

Thus concludes my conspiracy, I'm sure you are all aware that while some Pokémon may be real some are clearly not, and if the Professors, the regional teams, the nurse joy zombies, and Officer Jenny clones are really all working together there is no doubt to the state of the reality they all live in. The Pokémon world is a dark world domination utopian dictatorship with professor Oak as the supreme leader, turning people into starter Pokémon so his subjects can battle amongst themselves so they don't realise how much power he really holds. As the Players we don't see the worlds long enough to see this reality so we are completely unaware of it until we weigh up the evidence.

Enough banter, I hope you all enjoyed, this may probably be my only entry unless I think of something else, like but don't follow I probably won't make a habit of this.