Summary: Marian runs to the one person she feels can help her. Too bad he'd rather sleep instead.
Pairings: F!Hawke/Varric friendship fic, mentions of F!Hawke/Merrill, F!Hawke/Isabela, F!Hawke/Fenris, F!Hawke/Anders
Author's Note: The idea for this story struck me as the third companion cornered me in my mansion to have "the talk", when all I wanted to do was do my quests and I felt like I'd already picked one of them. I was so frustrated I shut the game off, and wrote this instead. Enjoy!

Incorrigible Flirt
by wayfaringpanda

Knock knock.

Varric grumbled, tossing in his bed and pulling his pillow over his head. He'd been up late with Isabela, drinking whiskey and playing Wicked Grace. They'd managed to clean out some of the younger sons of Hightown who had planned on spending the night slumming it. It was, by far, not nearly late enough in the day for him to be getting up.

KNOCK KNOCK.

Blearily, he opened his eyes to look about the room. "Correction," he mumbled to himself. "It's not even day yet. I definitely shouldn't be up right now." The room was still dark with the exception of the banked fire. He could not have been asleep for more than an hour. With a groan, he rolled over and firmly burrowed into his bed. Whoever it was could wait until morning.

Suddenly, he shivered. The whisper of air on his neck might of had something to do with it. With a start, he sat up, hand already reaching out for Bianca.

"Whoa, whoa!" a voice said with a laugh. "Calm down, Varric."

He gaped at Marian Hawke as she towered over him, a slick grin on her face. "You know," she said good-naturedly. "If you had just opened the door, I wouldn't of had to scare a year off your life just now."

"Right," he murmured, rubbing his face with one hand. "Hawke, what in Andraste's knotted knickers are you doing here?"

Marian whistled. "Ooh, that's a good one. You pick that up from Isabela?"

He glared at her.

After a moment, she sighed. "I brought some ale?"

Grumbling, he flung the covers off, rolling out of bed and pulling his clothes on. He ignored the wolf whistle Marian gave. Dragging his feet, he practically staggered to his table, slumping into his chair. He looked up at her, and wished he had the energy to wipe the smirk off her face. "You mentioned ale?"

"Right," she said, and went to grab the pitcher at the end of the table. She poured it into two of the mugs lying about, first looking to make sure they were relatively clean. Sliding into a chair next to him, she passed Varric his glass before taking a long drink of her own.

Varric took several swallows, stopping only when he felt fairly normal again. Setting his mug down, he looked her over. "Why are you here?" he asked again, noting the exaggerated nonchalant air she had about her.

Marian looked as if she were struggling with whether or not to speak. "What the hell," she said, giving a shrug. "I can't go home, Varric."

He raised an eyebrow. "Forget your way? I'm sure Daisy would lend you her ball of twine."

"Har har," she said wryly. "Maybe she would, if she weren't already waiting for me at home."

Varric blinked. "How would you know that if you can't go home?"

"Because," Marian said with a sigh. "I did go home. And she was waiting for me in the foyer. It was just luck that I saw her first, and managed to sneak out again. I've been wandering around since, but it's cold outside tonight, so I came here."

"Why in the world are you avoiding Daisy?" Varric asked, brow wrinkled in confusion.

Marian looked so forlorn he almost wanted to pat her on the head. "I think she's come to tell me her feelings."

It clicked. "Ah," Varric said, smiling. "About time she got up the nerve." Then it clicked again. "Wait. Are you saying you don't feel the same?"

Marian threw her hands up in the air in exasperation. "I don't know!" she exclaimed. "I can't seem to get any room to figure it out!" She got to her feet and started pacing. "You realize this is the third time this year this has happened? I mean, with Isabela I figured it was just a tumble, and it was, which was fine." She shared a grin with Varric. "Girl knows what she's doing, after all. But then it got kind of weird, and she's so on-again-off-again I just don't know what to think. Then Fenris decided to corner me and tell me he can't help thinking of me." She sighed. "I told him it was bad timing, and now he won't even look at me!"

"Now Daisy," Varric said. It was obvious he wasn't feeling much pity for Marian. "You do realize this is your own fault? You're an incorrigible flirt."

"Well, yes," Marian said. "But so is Isabela, and you don't see them all throwing themselves at her. What next, is Anders going to show up and profess his undying love?"

Varric chuckled. "It would be like Blondie to go overboard like that."

"But why do they all have to corner me at home?" Marian whined, sinking back into her chair. "I just want to go home, check my messages so I can plan what poor sod I'm going to help tomorrow, and go to bed. Instead, I'm here."

"Yes," Varric said wryly. "Keeping me from sleeping. This madness must be stopped." He sighed. "Maybe if you made your preference known, Hawke, the rest would leave you alone."

Marian sighed. "Somehow I don't think that'll work, even if I did have one." She set her head in her hands, elbows on the table. "It's not like me sleeping with Isabela stopped Fenris, and I know she didn't exactly keep it to herself."

Varric raised an eyebrow. "Maybe," he said quietly. "You should be talking about this with Isabela, instead of me."

"And have her go running for the hills?" Marian snorted. "I still need her. No offense, but she's better at picking locks than you."

Varric took another draught of his ale. "Well, Hawke, the way I see it, you have two options. Either you feel something for Daisy and you tell her, or you don't and you let her down easy." He leaned forward, a serious look on his face. "Emphasis on the easy, Hawke. Don't go leading her on."

"I know, I know," Marian said, holding her hands up defensively. "I don't want to hurt her." She sighed. "This is so fucked. I do care about them, all of them, it's just..."

Giving a yawn, Varric stood. He drained the rest of his mug. "Either way, get out of my room. I need some sleep." One look at Marian's panic-stricken face, and he relented. "I think Isabela didn't bring anyone back to her room tonight."

Marian gave a sheepish grin. "Thanks for that." She took another drink, then stared at the wooden table. "But now I kind of feel bad just leaving Merrill waiting for me. I suppose I better go talk to her." She sighed and stood, heading towards the door. "If only the one I really wanted was free."

Varric blinked in surprise. "What? Who?"

Marian gave a wink. "Why, Bianca of course." She blew the crossbow a kiss before closing the door behind her, leaving Varric laughing as he headed back to bed.