Round 2 : Spamano Valentine Exchange

By fluffy-sweetheart-pants for subspace-sahara

I Couldn't Save You

(( I'm sorry if this makes you cry, but that was the goal here. I hope you like sad Romanito. OTL))

Three words were whispered in the darkness of midnight, before work (accompanied by a kiss), before bed, in times of overflowing lust, in misery and sadness, in comfort, in anger, and every situation you could think of. It was a simple gesture, although it meant the world to him. Three words could never have meant more to Lovino Vargas. When he said it, he meant it. It meant more than undying love and trust. It meant devotion and protection along with those.

"I love you…. I'm so sorry," Lovino whispered through his watery eyes. "I know that I'm stupid, because I couldn't do anything about this. But at least you're happier now, right?"

The wind briskly swept through the trees in response.

"Feli really misses you too. And I even think that dumb potato bastard misses you." He dryly laughed and twisted the wedding band on his finger. "You know what Grandpa said today? 'I think he's so talented'" These last words made Lovino choke back a sob.

It was deadly quiet, except for the wind dying down.

"I'm sorry I didn't have roses, all they had were l-lilies." He broke down and fell to his knees, salty tears flowing from his hazel eyes. "I-I'm so s-sorry Antonio, so s-so sorry. I tried my best, I really did. I did e-everything I could. Grandpa tried, F-Feli tried, Gil tried, everyone did. This hurts me so much, and you were such a bastard for being so happy all the time. Why d-didn't you realize what was happening?"

Everything else in the world seemed to disappear, to melt away in this moment.

"I j-just guess you wanted to make everyone happy, right? Y-you were always there for me, Tonio. Even w-when I was such a b-bastard to you…." The tears came faster now. "Please f-forgive me. F-Forgive me when I was selfish a-and cruel….forgive me for everything…"

A beep was heard from the distance. Lovino turned around to see his brother walking towards him, putting his car keys in his pocket. "F-Feli…?"

"Lovi, you've been here for over an hour, you had me and Grandpa worried sick. Please come home." His brows were furrowed and a look of solemn grief painted his features- a look rarely seen on the bubbly Italian.

"Feli, I'm sorry. I miss him s-so much." Lovino was kneeling in front of the gravestone, holding the bouquet of Lilies and a rosary. He didn't look at his brother, he didn't want to.

"I k-know Lovino. So d-do I." Now Lovino wasn't the only one crying.

"No! Feliciano, I tried to protect him! I loved him! W-who else did that?" Lovino looked up at his younger sibling now, his face tearstained and red from the wind and his crying.

"Lovi, please… don't do this… it's not h-healthy."

He turned his head back towards the headstone. "W-why? Why Feli? H-He did nothing w-wrong to deserve it…"

"God decided it was his time to go…"

"He was a s-saint Feli… a saint." Lovino stood up and walked over to his brother. Feliciano grasped his brother by the shoulders and pulled him into a tight hug. "I couldn't love him e-enough… to s-save him. I c-couldn't protect him…" They pulled apart and Feli put his arm around his older sibling. Lovino tossed bouquet onto the grave, hoping to stop the bitter tears. To his dismay, it only made things worse. A choked sob escaped his lips as he said, "G-go home, Feli. I w-want to stay."

"Ten minutes, fratellono. If you aren't home in twenty, I'm coming back."

Lovino nodded and tried to suck it up. If he was going to talk to a fucking gravestone, he was at least going to look manly. He knelt beside it once again, running his fingers over the name. Antonio Fernadez-Carriedo

"Tonio….. I'm sorry they didn't write 'Vargas'. And… and if Feliciano is right, and you're watching over me…. Than I guess you saw how upset I became." Lovino laughed bitterly at the memory of him throwing a punch at the cemetery director. "But it doesn't really m-matter, right? If… i-if we all know….than t-that's all that matters." He picked himself up and placed the lilies nicely against the gravestone. Lovino stuffed the rosary in his pocket, ignoring the tears still pouring from his eyes. As he walked to the car, he walked away from the tombstone, away from the bitter fallen tears.