Why wasn't it enough anymore? Jeff stared down at the small package sitting on his desk. He sighed and carefully tucked it into the small inner pocket of his messenger bag. He would have to drive over to Lima after Warbler's practice, talk to Sandy and get some more. His stash was dangerously low, and if he didn't get more soon then his withdrawal symptoms would start.

Jeff was actually quite proud of himself, three years and no one had caught him. No one had ever questioned him, or suspected him, and it was so much easier that way.

He strode out of his (shared) bedroom and into the kitchen, grabbing an apple from the table before heading out the door.

"Bye, Mom," he called, "I'll be home later, going out with Thad and Cameron."

"Alright sweetie," came her reply, " stay safe!"

If she ever found out...

Jeff hurried to slam the door shut, telling himself he hasn't heard that last part, hoping his mother believed the lie he was telling himself.

He was guilty, of course, lying to his mother, betraying the trust of nearly everyone he knew, but there really wasn't any other way. Getting help wasn't worth the hassle. He had everything under control.

Jeff walked over to his car and slumped in the front seat. Putting the key into the ignition and turning on the engine was just another routine. Backing out of the driveway, he thoughts wandered, as usual, to the rest of his family. His dad had already taken Ryland to school in his car before going to work, and Rocky, Rydel, and Joss were now probably driving the van over to Ellington's house to pick him up before heading to Westerville High. Jeff sighed. Sometimes having to drive to Dalton alone was just plain depressing.

But today was the first day of his junior year. The weather was really nice, the first Warbler's meeting was today, and he didn't have cross-country practice.

He inwardly groaned. Private school was enough with all the homework, but without his sports or the Warblers life would be just too boring, despite the fact that they only added to the stress in his life. Whatever. Running was good exercise, and he found singing with the Warblers was actually fun. Besides, both Coach Capehart and Sebastian would kick his ass if he quit either group.

Sometimes, it was just too much. Maybe he should have gone to Westerville with the rest of his family. This was too much to think about on the first day of school. Thinking about the separate life he lived with his family compared to school was too much of a headache any time. He just didn't want to disappoint anyone, yet he felt that way every single frickin' day of his life.

It didn't seem like that long before he had turned into Dalton's driveway, finding a parking space surprisingly quickly and close to the main entrance. Glancing at his watch, he realized that he had a good half hour until school actually started.

How on earth had he gotten here so fast?

Maybe he would have a chance to smoke a joint before heading to his first period class. Jeff had turned to pot to deal with his stress sometime during his Freshman year. But that didn't matter, he always had it under control. Did he like keeping secrets from his family? No. They would be disappointed in him for not telling them, but that didn't matter either. His summer job paid for his weed, he had learned to hide when he was high, and this wasn't really hurting him. He could be cutting himself or something stupid like that.

However, the joint he had been smoking for years didn't quite have the same effect it used to on him.

Jeff pulled out his phone and punched in a number he knew by heart. He knew he was going to have to erase his call history after this, so no one who got ahold of his phone would question this number. Joss had scared him a couple of times when he had Sandy as a contact, his little brother claiming he was simply trying to find out who Jeff's secret lover was. Yeah, right. No one would want Jeff after they realized what an emotional mess he was. But still, he couldn't be too careful. Hell, he had special clothes he wore to smoke that were currently shoved under the driver's seat of his car, enclosed in a gallon-sized freezer bag to keep people from smelling the pot.

"Jeff?" Sandy's voice sounded tired, he was probably irritated that he had called him and it was before noon.

"Yeah. Are you going to be at McKinley tonight?"

"You low?"

"Yeah. Bring me double what I normally get," whenever Jeff called Sandy, he tried to keep the conversations short and to the point. Something about talking to this man, who had been fired from teaching at McKinley because his openly predatory gay actions concerned students, also concerned Jeff a little bit. He tried to squash that thought, at least Sandy had been pretty consistent in his services.

"Alright. By the back door of the school, under the bleachers by the football field. Nine thirty."

"As usual," Jeff replied, "see you there."

With that he ended the call, tucking his phone back into his messenger bag. He brushed his hand over the packet he had put in the bag that morning, along with a bottle of Visine, just to make sure they were still there. Jeff used the artificial eye drops to hide his bloodshot eyes after a smoke, and he relied on that to keep people from finding out.

Stepping out of his car, Jeff walked up to the front doors of Dalton. After his call to Sandy, he wasn't going to have time for a smoke, it would have to wait until later. That was okay, if he had chosen to indulge in his stash now it would have been to escape his thoughts for a little while, not to get high.

He couldn't help but sigh as he walked to the guidance office to get another copy of his class schedule (he had lost the one they had sent in the mail the day he had gotten it), he knew which classes he was going to take, just not the order.

The secretary hurriedly printed him off a schedule, trying to get through to all of the junior boys who had done the same thing Jeff had.

"Thanks," he called over his shoulder, not knowing that the small show of gratitude brought a weary smile to her face. Boys will be boys...

He strolled into the Auditorium/lunch room, g

rabbed a hot chocolate from the vender, and sat down to look over his classes before he had to go to his first one.

AP British and Irish Literature, with Mr. Hamilton.

Jeff took a sip of his drink, inwardly groaning to himself. Of course he needed to take AP classes, how else was he going to get into a good film school? His hot chocolate was a little on the warm side, so he put it down to let it cool before risking another drink. Most of the other students were enjoying various types of complicated coffee, but that particular drink didn't really appeal to him. It was too bitter for his taste, but the smell and caffeine were pretty good. Instead of drink that, however, Jeff simply had hot chocolate year round. Like a normal person. Check that. Jeff did like white chocolate mocha, but hot chocolate was just so much easier.

Jeff always felt kind of out of it when he was at school. Not that he didn't like attending Dalton or anything, (hello, he was the only one thus far who had chosen his father's Alma Mater) but as good as the academics were, he felt kind of separated, isolated. At home the bond he had with this siblings and parents provided all the support he needed. At school, during the week when he stayed on campus in his dorm room, that was when the stress got to him.

This first week of school, however, something weird had happened to the Dean of Students at Dalton's computer, it had gotten all scrambled and none of the boarding information was a mess. Students who were willing to had opted to commute until everything could get sorted out. In Jeff's opinion, the system could be down indefinitely. Though the drive to and from Dalton was a serious pain in the ass and waste of time and money, he liked going back to the Sterling house each night. It offered comfort.

It was calming, just sitting there in the Auditorium, the buzz of teenage boys excitedly talking around him providing a comforting human presence. Maybe he would go to the Warbler Commons and try to find some people before his first class started.

Just as he stood up and was about to leave, Trent came running towards him, a dark-haired boy in tow.

"Jeff!" he called breathlessly, skidding to a stop on Dalton's tiled floors, "this is Nick, he 's new, and going to join the Warblers, and you need to show him around!"

"Wait, why me?" Jeff asked, slightly amused at Trent's flustered state. Not that he would have minded, this kid looked really nervous, fidgeting with the sleeves of his blazer, which looked a size too big on him.

"Just do it!" he practically pushed Nick into Jeff, "I've got to go, the Headmaster called me down to the office, something about Sebastian and the new Captain.

"Hunter Clarington?"

"Yeah, I don't know what's going on, but I don't think its going to be pretty!"

With that, Trent turned on his heel and scurried in the opposite direction. It wasn't until that point that Nick spoke for the first time.

"Um, nice to meet you, Jeff," his voice was soft, with a slight lisp.

Jeff smiled and stuck out his hand, "same goes for you, Nick," he pulled out his chair out again, motioning for Nick to do the same.

Nick clasped his hand in a firm handshake and returned his smile.

He suddenly pulled back, looking like he had a question he wanted to ask but not sure how.

"What?"

"Do you play the guitar? It's just that I noticed you have callouses..." He trailed off, internally kicking himself and staring at the hand he had just pulled out of Jeff's, ducking his head to avoid embarrassment. Jeff probably thought he was a fricking weirdo, you don't ask that kind of thing when you've just met someone! Now Nick just wanted to go die in a hole. He wasn't even sure why he was acting so shy, but this transfer had been a pretty big step. Still, this was not the way to make friends.

Jeff chuckled at that, causing Nick to look back up, "No, I play the bass. My younger brothers play the guitar, though."

Nick felt greatly at ease after this, Jeff was really easy to talk to.

"So, where are you from?"

"Texas. My Dad got transferred here to Ohio this Summer, so here I am," Nick was so happy for this new connection, Jeff reminded him a lot of his friend Curt from back home.

"Play any sports?"

"Football, baseball, sometimes a little hockey but I didn't think Dalton had a team."

"OMG! You like hockey? Oh man, now I'm excited!" Jeff grinned like a madman, hockey had always been his favorite sport. He had grown up playing it in Colorado, and while Dalton didn't have a team, he was allowed to play for Westerville given he had so many connections there. It was refreshing to meet someone who liked hockey.

"Yeah, back home we had a rec team, nothing too big because the year-round football teams tended to draw in more kids," Nick was surprised to say the least of Jeff's enthusiastic response, and this time it was him who was smiling in amusement.

"Is there a—"

Nick was cut off by the school bell ringing, signaling that they three minutes to get to class.

Jeff stood up, amazed that half an hour had passed since he had pulled into Dalton's parking lot and the one thing on his mind had been getting more pot. Damn, now he was stuck thinking about that again. He looked up to see Nick looking lost and confused, almost lost puppy cute, and those thoughts vanished from his mind.

"You know where you're going?" Jeff asked him as he slung his messenger bag over his shoulder.

Nick hurriedly pulled out a schedule and said, "Hamilton, room 306. I don't really understand the map they gave me," he admitted, a faint blush coloring his cheeks.

"C'mon, we have that class together," Jeff grabbed his wrist and pulled him along, continuing their conversation, talking more about sports, books, movies, TV shows, and music, Nick becoming more and more relaxed, feeling like he had found someone who could possibly be his best friend, and Jeff feeling incredulous that he felt so close to someone other than his family, until they entered Mr. Hamilton's classroom and got their seat assignments from their teacher. From where he was sitting two rows up and one to the left, Jeff turned around and smiled at him one last time before the teacher started taking attendance.

He felt a weird sort of pride at knowing that Jeff's last name was Sterling, and a sense of affection that he didn't understand the reason for having.

A/N: Okay, so this story includes characters based on Riker Lynch's actual family, and although some find in a bit strange to include facts about an actor's life in a work about a character, this was just too good of an opportunity to pass up. I am in love with R5, especially Riker and Rocky! Anyways, hope you liked it, please tell me your thoughts!