[DISCLAIMER: I do not claim to own the characters, Glee, etc. etc. Also, SPOILERS for Duets (episode 2.04) so if you don't want to know anything yet don't read :) ]

It's been two weeks. I apologized to Brittany countless times, and she's still sitting across the choir room from me. I can't believe that I, Santana Lopez, have been begging someone to talk to me. That's not me at all. But it's Brittany. Brittany makes me do stupid things, things that are most definitely not me. She's staring blankly at Mr. Schue; she's gotten really good at ignoring me. When we were younger, she would last about an hour before coming back to talk to me. She just could never stay mad at me until now, and it was driving me crazy. I need to hear her voice for some stupid reason.

I subtly pick another seat closer to her. I can see her lips moving. If I can just hear her voice, even if she's not speaking to me exactly, maybe it will make this tight feeling in my chest go away.

Brittany is singing the song she wanted us to sing for a duet softly. Some burning sensation begins to prickle hotly in the back of my eyes, and it feels like someone is squeezing my lungs so painfully that I want to yell. For the first time ever, I get up and walk out of Glee practice, tears falling slowly down my face. Brittany doesn't follow me. As soon as I get to the parking lot, to the relative safety of my car, I start crying for real. It serves me no purpose other than to piss me off.

I wait for a few minutes. Just to see if Brittany will come see what's wrong, but she doesn't. Not even a shadow passes by the back door of the school. I twist the key in the ignition and drive away.

My house is dark, and I climb the stairs to my bedroom to shuffle under the covers. I really hurt Brittany. Somewhere inside, I hate myself for it. She's like the only person I have, the one who is like the literal other half of me. I'm all mean and sour, she's nice and sweet. I desperately need her because without her, I'm imbalanced, evil… All for what?

So I didn't want to sing a duet with her. I wanted to win, where's the shame in that? But… I didn't want her to do a duet with anyone else. Then I heard she slept with Artie, and it made me mad. I knew that I was being utterly ridiculous because I had been doing the same thing with Puck. But she's Brittany. She's different. She makes me crazy, makes me do things that aren't like me at all.

I remember that night when I got mad at her while we were making out. Her face… I had to keep my face turned away so I couldn't see what I'd done to her.

The ghost of her fingers trailing over my back makes me shiver unpleasantly, sadly. I shove the headphones into my ears to drown out this world that I had myself created. Somewhere in between self-pity and loneliness, I fall asleep and create a world where Brittany's here, her pinky intertwined with my own and her warmth against my side.

It's three am when I finally wake up; I'd been dreaming Brittany was tossing small plastic ducks against my window. The reality of the situation is I'm still alone. I can see the lights of her bedroom on from across our small yard. I'd always been glad the windows of our rooms were facing each other's and not the street, but now it hurt. She's dancing gracefully, her shadow swaying among the sheer light-colored curtains. I miss being in her room and watching her dance more than I miss us talking about stupid things. Her cat climbs on the windowsill and stares blankly at me before disappearing back in. Brittany peeks through her curtains before turning out her light and climbing in to bed.

I want to be in there with her.

"Come to my window," I say to the dark, still Lima night. She doesn't come. I didn't expect she would.