Disclaimer: I do NOT own DGM (if I did Kanda, Allen and Tyki will be fighting over Lavi to be their lover XD)

Warning: Yaoi, Angst, Lemon, Rape, Torture, OOCness

Remark(s): Just a random angst fanfic coz i'm running out of inspiration for 'Memories aren't Everything' (MaE). No worries, will get back to it as soon as i got the inspiration i need =]

As for this fic, whether I'm continuing or anot will have to depend on the time and inspiration i have. but most probably after this will be concentrating more on MaE

ok, hope you enjoy~~~

My World Is Never Complete Without You

Humiliation, Despair and Loss

"No… I'm begging you… Please… Stop…" he breathed out the words weakly as he shivered and panted heavily, heart beating fast due to the fear, pain and humiliation.

However, the man above him ignored his pleas as he inserted a third finger into the small entrance of the man below him.

"Ah! No! Don't!" cried the man below again, tears formed heavily in the green eyes of his. "Some… one… help…"

"No one is coming," exclaimed the man above with a smirk. "I told you before, you're mine, Lavi."

And with that he pulled out the fingers and positioned his member to thrust it inside the redhead's entrance fully.

"Ah! Stop! Don't! Ahhh!" Lavi screamed in pain, which only heightened the enjoyment of the man above him. Lavi so wanted to push the man away, but his hands were tied up to the head board on the bed behind him. "Please… don't… Tyki!"

The said man then moved his hand to grab Lavi's member, and began pumping it at a fast rate while he began moving himself inside Lavi. He pulled out his member from Lavi's entrance partially, only to thrust back in again, hard.

"AH! STOP! It… It… It hurts! Ahh!" Lavi screamed at the top of his lungs, begging for the man above him to stop. However, no matter how much he pleaded, how much he screamed, how much he sobbed, the man won't stop.

"With this, you're mine," Tyki exclaimed as he made his way to Lavi's neck and collarbone to kiss, suck and bite, leaving visible and obvious hickies and bite marks. Blood was beginning to flow from Lavi's neck and entrance due to the torture and humiliation he was receiving from the man above him.

"No… stop… please… save… me… Yuu!"

Lavi called for his lover, but it was all futile.

"Lavi, I'm coming in," cried a young man after he knocked on the door. After seconds of silence, the young man sighed and pulled out the key from the pocket and unlocked the door.

"Lavi?" the young man called out when he entered the one-room apartment, only to find a messy environment in the living room and kitchen again. He sighed again, and he placed the food he brought with him on the small table in the living room after clearing some space for it from the mess.

"Lavi, where are you?" the young man called out again, and soon after he heard a sound of running shower from the bathroom. He went up to the door and knocked.

"Lavi, are you in there?" the young man asked, but no reply came. This worried the young man. "Lavi, if you are in there please answer me!" This time the young man was shouting.

Still no reply came. Getting really anxious for the safety of his friend, he began knocking on the door in a faster pace while shouting his friend's name.

"Lavi! Open the door! NOW!" Still no reply came.

'Okay, that's it,' the young man thought as he began to bang onto the door, hard, again while shouting for his friend.

After banging onto the door for five times, the door was knocked opened and he quickly ran into the bathroom to find his friend. But he was not prepared for what he was about to see.

The shower was running.

The bathtub was filled in water.

There was no doubt Lavi was sitting in the bathtub, trying to take a shower.

But the only thing that shouldn't be there was the red colour in the water in the bathtub.

And Lavi was sitting down, staring into space with his eyes void of emotions as one of his hands was moving up and down around the area between his neck and collarbone, scratching the bite mark it had on it till blood was flowing from the wound he created with his nails.

"Go away. Go away. Go away. Go away. Go away. Go away. Go away. Go away…" Lavi cried repeatedly and softly as he continued scratching onto the bite marks he had on his neck and shoulder area, unable to feel any physical pain from it.

If there is any pain he could feel right now, that would be the pain of humiliation he received from Tyki from the incident one night before.

The marks of the pain, the humiliation, the insanity, the disgust, and the horrible memories that craved onto his body. He hated them. He just wanted them to go away. Stay away from him. No more.

"Lavi!" the young man cried as he quickly dashed up to the redhead under the shower and grabbed his hands from continuing mutilating himself. "Lavi! Stop it!"

Feeling the touch of another on him, Lavi screamed and pushed his friend away from him, backing away to the edge of the bathtub, his hands clutching tightly to his head.

"Stop! Don't… please… don't touch me! Go away!" Lavi cried out in pain and sorrow and began sobbing loudly. Despite the hot shower, he was shivering.

"Lavi! What happened?" shouted the young man to the redhead.

"Go away!" Lavi screamed as he closed his eyes. "Go away. Go away. Go away!"

"Damn it! LAVI!" the young man shouted again. Despite Lavi's protest, the young man quickly walked up to the redhead and used his hands to move Lavi's head to face him into his eyes. "It's me, Allen! Please tell me that you recognize me!"

It took some time for Lavi to process, but nevertheless he soon realized the man standing in front of him was his best friend, Allen.

"Allen…" Lavi slightly relaxed upon seeing his friend, and the next thing Allen knew, Lavi lost consciousness.

"Lavi!" Allen cried out loudly as he saw his best friend collapsed in front of him.

He quickly sprinted through the crowd in the airport, ignoring all the shouting and scolding he heard from the people he accidentally bumped into behind him.

Rather than the strangers, there was something else that mattered to him more. There was something else more important for him to take care of.

There was someone he must see no matter what.

He quickly scanned through the area as he reached the airport lobby, panting heavily due to all the running he did. Someone was supposed to be there for him.

"Kanda! Over here!" and the man who just reached the lobby quickly spun around to see the young man with white hair that he was supposed to meet.

Or rather, it was due to a phone call from the white-haired young man that Kanda had taken leave from the university he was studying at and rushed all the way back home to London.

Kanda immediately made his way towards Allen. He immediately glared at him.

"What the fuck do you mean by 'something happened to Lavi'?" Kanda growled angrily at Allen.

"Kanda…" Allen replied with an obvious sad smile on his face. "I need you to calm down first…"

"Just explain to me what happened, you damn Moyashi!" Kanda shouted, causing the people walking around in the lobby to look at him and Allen.

Allen tightened a grip on one of his hands, while the other made his way to his sling bag he was carrying to pull out a letter. He passed the letter to Kanda. The letter was addressed to him after all.

"This… is from Lavi…"

"Where the hell is he?" Kanda growled angrily at Allen while glaring him coldly again.

"I-I-I don't know…" Allen replied meekly while shivering slightly. Kanda could tell Allen was trying to hold back his tears in his eyes.

"What the fuck do you mean you don't know? You were supposed to be with him all the time!" Kanda shouted across the lobby again, and this time people around started mumbling.

"I told you I DON'T KNOW! Lavi's just disappeared! Even before I noticed! What makes you think I'm trying to hide Lavi from you?" Allen shouted defensively back to Kanda, also attracting the attention from the crowds.

Kanda growled, as he quickly grabbed the letter from Allen that was addressed to him by Lavi. He quickly opened it and read its contents.

Dear Yuu,

By the time you read this, I'm afraid to say that I have gone to a place where I know you couldn't reach me. Sorry for making such a selfish decision but I decided to break up. At the state I'm in now, I can no longer stay with you. After what had happened, I have been thinking whether is it possible for me to face you as if nothing has happened, and continued living a happy life that we both wanted, a relaxed life that right now you are working hard to fulfill, for the both of us. But yet, all your hard work is going to naught because of my one moment of stupidity. That's why, I can't do it.

You told me before that your world can never be complete without me, and hearing that really made me happy and I really believed that I was lucky to be able to find such a person whom I can care for and love for the rest of my life, whom I can finally trust my life and happiness to. You have no idea how elated I was when you gave me the ring exactly one year and four months ago. However, like everyone said, good things must come to an end.

Fearing that my nightmares will come true, I decided that instead of waiting for you to tell me that we should end this, I would be the one who shall end this relationship with me as the disloyal, unfaithful lover who had betrayed you while you were away from my side. None of these is your fault; all burdens and responsibilities shall be bore by me alone. So Yuu, even without me, you must keep going forward, I'm sure you can find someone so much better than me to be able to complete your world, not someone as irritating, loud-mouthed and most importantly, not as dirty as me.

Wish you happiness and best of luck in your future. I will always be praying for you.

Love,

Lavi

P.S. I know it's unfair for me to say this since I selfishly decided to end the relationship, but still, please allow me this final chance.

I love you.

Kanda immediately clutched tightly the paper in his hand, while the other hand was able to feel something else was in the envelope, so he turned it upside down.

A ring dropped out from the envelope, and Kanda immediately realized it was the ring that he gave Lavi before he left for Australia to complete his studies. The ring symbolized the promise they made to each other.

To only belong to the other, to only love each other, to only connect their feelings and soul, no matter how far apart they are from another.

Giving the ring back to Kanda could only mean one thing: Lavi was seriously ending their relationship. The promise, the love and the feelings was no longer anything but something happened in the past in memories they shared together ever since they confessed to each other and started dating in their high school years.

Staring at the ring that had dropped onto the floor, Kanda slowly squatted down onto the floor, and one of his hands reached out for the ring. He then picked it up and looked at it for a moment on his palm while tears were beginning to fall down, dripping onto the ring. Allen also began crying looking at the sight.

Soon after, Kanda closed his hand into a fist, and brought his fist to the area on his chest where his heart was situated. Tears were trickling down his cheeks as he called the name of the one he loved…

"Lavi…"

Nothing, but tears of sorrow and pain was dripping down onto the floor.

Nothing, but feelings of despair and regrets was Kanda feeling at the moment.

For half of his world had crumbled with the loss of the man he loved.

End

ok till next time! watch out for my updates! =DDD

Jya ne~~~

August-chan