Lists
She made the list with him in mind. Not in the usual sense because she listed everything he was not.
He never bought her shiny gifts. He only ever gave her one present. A ratty old Led Zeppelin t-shirt. But it was sentimental and touching and filled with hope and promise. (And much better than anything stupid Michael had ever gotten her, like toy dinosaurs.)
She still had that shirt, folded carefully on her top drawer where she kept everything important.
She didn't mean for the list to point her to Fez. She just wanted someone who was nothing like Steven.
With Sam gone there would be no reason for them not to get back together. The list was made in order to prove to herself that he wasn't right for her.
And maybe Fez would be right for the self-centered Jackie, just how Michael had been right for the superficial Jackie. But Steven was right for real life Jackie.
All she really had to do was pick which person she wanted to be. Superficial cheerleader was out of the question, leaving only the self-centered and real life Jackies.
The mature, honest part of her told her to be real-life, work your way up, be a grown up Jackie. The part of her that was scared of being lost and alone told her to be with someone who would worship her endlessly. To hold her heart at a safe distance, protected from even the slightest chance of being hurt.
Steven was the unknown, the x-factor. The one who was different each time she added up the equation. Fez was the constant; he would be her child-hood fantasy. But did she still want that fantasy?
After being with Steven her fantasy changed. She discovered she didn't need to be with a seemingly perfect guy to be happy. She could be with scruffy, poor, unmotivated Steven and still have the love she longed for.
But Jackie couldn't risk it again. She would do anything so she wouldn't feel so lost and hurt and broken.
Even if it meant being with a runner-up hero.
Who could blame her?
Donna's heart broke again and again by Eric, string bean he was, and Donna let him! She believed the pain was worth it for those few moments of bliss. Jackie was not going to fall for that crap again.
She wouldn't let herself.