VT:It was dreadfully late, and a mood forcibly grabbed me and shook me viciously until I scribed the disgusting excuse for fanfiction you see before you now. Enjoy!
The beginning.
It was such a peculiar day: the sun was shining, the various non-descript birds were singing, the flowers were blooming, and Jounouchi was feeling a distinct twinge of impending doom.
Then Kaiba walked by.
How convenient.
"Hey Kaiba!" Jou began, knowing full well that the best way to capture the attention of any millionaire randomly strolling through a park in any given town, real or not, was to yell out "Hey!" followed by their last name. In this case, Kaiba. "I gots a bone to pick with ya!" he stated, oozing with grammatical errors, easily overlooked by any product of the American school system.
Kaiba, against his better judgment and his erection, chose to respond. "Wheeler," he said despite the fact that the Japanese names were already in use. "Lost your leash?" He continued with another bitch joke that made Jou feel horny and inadequate--exactly how most bitches liked it.
Luckily for the reader, before Jou could respond with the usual bouts of brightly colored backgrounds and poorly animated thumb choreography, Kaiba cut in. "No, Jou," he returned to Japanese names, "I'm sorry."
Jou was horrified. He vocalized this brilliantly, eloquently, and unexpectedly to any who knew him: "What?" Oh wait, no he didn't.
"No, no. Jou, can't you see? It's all an elaborate plot-twist by, technically, the mentally deficient writer of the show, but mostly the warped minds of fangirls everywhere. They slash us, Jou; they slash us so good. And what can we do? Nothing. Just squint and fall prey to their every whim in the form of every kind of fanservice imaginable! This I know as fact--I've done the research. I can tell by the vacant (but adorable) expression on your face that I should wrap this up. Okay." Kaiba took a deep, deep, DEEP breath. "When I make fun of you, it's a superfluous and ridiculous canard of a method of demonstrating my tangible affections toward you."
Jou once again verbalized the glory that is his thoughts: "Huh?"
"I love YOU, FAGGOT-FACE. When I poke fun and make jokes, it means 'I love you'!" Kaiba was gasping and red in the face, which would have been the norm had he been in the bathroom thinking about Jounouchi not outside speaking with him.
Jou took a brief moment to let the freshly acquired information percolate.
A brief, twenty-seven second moment.
"Oh jeez," he began, "Kaiba, when I, in return, make fun o' you."
"Yes, yes?" Kaiba egged on.
"It's 'cause I really, really..."
"YES?"
"Hate your guts, you queer." Here, Jou leaned tantalizingly close to our rich, newly-outed, Gay Gay Mcgay Kaiba and punched him in the face.
It was such a peculiar day.
The end.