Ben 10, property of Man of Action, disclaimer, do not claim ownership of, etcetera. I was lying about that summary, BTW. They're full of the same baffling and often derogatory clichés.

In a previous excursion, the nefarious Doctor Animo had teamed up with Mr. Clancy, the bug man, to do much bodily harm to a one Ben Tennyson, possibly his entire family, who often get in the way of their villainous plans for destruction and world domination. We now resume the events in progress.

"Cool, I'm a giant Judas," Clancy exclaimed while testing out his new deadly pincers and icky drool. "Maybe I can find some autistic kid with spoons, pretend to befriend him, kidnap him, and then murder the fuck out of his dad when he comes looking for him. That would be funny."

"Focus, my socially maligned bird of a feather," Doctor Animo said. "We don't have time to mess around. Now is the time to hunt down and murder Ben Tennyson."

"Oh, yeah, I forgot," Clancy said.

"Yes, quite unfortunately, the faux Judas Breed I ripped off and claimed as my own creation tend to have short attention spans," Doctor Animo said. "It's not my fault. It's hard to make intelligent mutant bug species."

"What were we talking about?" Clancy asked.

Doctor Animo sighed.

(Some odd miles away)

Ben and Gwen and Max Tennyson were out enjoying themselves at a local carnival. Ben was stuffing his face with various unhealthy foodstuffs whist making mischief along the way.

"Hey, Gwen, wanna bet on a game of ring toss? If I win, you have to do all my chores for a week."

"What if I win?" Gwen asked, looking agitated in anticipation.

"I didn't bother to make up a scenario if you win since you won't and it doesn't matter," Ben said with a shrug.

Gwen became furious. "Ben!" She turned away from him, her fists clenched. "I wouldn't play one of those dumb carnival games anyway! Everyone knows they're rigged."

"It's so much easier to blame the game rather than your lack of skill, isn't it?" Ben laughed. "Fine. Then I win by default!"

"You can't do that," Gwen shouted.

"Watch me," Ben yelled.

"Kids, please," Grandpa Max said as he appeared behind them with corn dogs in each meaty fist. "Can't we go five minutes without you two being at each other's throats?" He groaned.

"But it's comedic tension," Ben said.

"How would the audience be able to interpret our intense secret love for each other without it?" Gwen added.

"Yeah! Wait, what?" Ben did a double take.

"Uh, never mind," Gwen said sweetly. She stuffed her fanfiction liner notes back into her pocket. "To change the topic, how about we go on the Ring of Fire?"

"No way. I heard people died on that," Ben said, shaking his head.

"Gross, bugs! Bugs in the cotton candy!" a random person yelled in the distance. Soon legions of carnival goers began to scream, louder and louder, until a chorus of disharmonious din erupted.

"Hey, what's going on ?" Ben asked to no one in particular.

"Let's go check it out," said Grandpa Max.

They ran to the pier, where everyone had fled from the odd and very plague-like infestation of various bug species. They were on everything. The foods, the ticket booths, even the people themselves. It was an entomophobe's waking nightmare.

"Ew, gross! Cockroaches!" Gwen squealed. She recoiled as several dozen advanced toward her shoe.

"Baby," Ben taunted her.

"Something tells me this isn't natural," Grandpa Max observed. "And as we all have come to know, unnatural processions of vermin reek of Doctor Animo's involvement."

"All right, this day is getting better and better. I got to eat a bunch of gross fattening junk, go on rides until I was dizzy, and now I get to end the evening kicking Doctor Animo's butt again!"

Ben ran ran blindly into the hailstorm of flying bugs to find Doctor Animo and punch him into a coma.

"Ben, wait!" Grandpa Max called. He watched Ben ignore the request and vanish into the cloud of bugs. "That kid never listens. Though I suppose if he was more well behaved, there wouldn't be half as much plot to these superhero boy oriented cartoons."

"When the bugs are done eating his flesh, can I have the Omnitrix, Grandpa?" Gwen asked.

Grandpa Max frowned. "No, Gwen. You know things like that aren't meant for girls. There's a fail safe that prevents it from working on a female's wrist. You know, like missile silos. And presidencies."

Gwen growled, clenching her teeth, and threw her fists into the air. "Curse you, universal misogyny!"

Deep within the bug perimeter, Ben came face to face with what he at first mistook for a mutant of Doctor Animo's design. He was partly correct.

"Okay, Doctor Animo, time to watch me kick the crap out of you," Ben said. "Probably literally since in every other story, you tend to lose control of your bowels for comedic gross-out purposes."

"That's what you think, Ben Tennyson," Doctor Animo's voice spoke, only it hadn't come from the big bug thing standing in front of him now. Doctor Animo instead walked out of a cloud of wasps and flies. "But as usual, you're wrong."

"Hey, who is this freak right here? One of your latest biological failures?" Ben didn't finish the sentence. He was hit in the face by a strong exoskeleton limb. He flew several feet and landed on the hard concrete. "Ow!"

"No, actually, it's one of my rare successes," Doctor Animo said while laughing evilly. "Scyther, attack!"

"My name is Clancy," he grunted.

Clancy flew at Ben while roaring fiercely. Ben turned into Four Arms and beat the shit out of him. Clancy fell into the water a few feet away, leaving Doctor Animo the next one in line for an ass whooping.

"Well, that sucked," Doctor Animo said, looking disheartened. "But we'll be back, Tennyson. And you will die! Hahahahaha haaa!" He ran away into the cloud of bees and stuff.

"Keep dreaming, Doc!" Ben retorted.

"We'll get him next time," said Grandpa Max.

"Next time? None of these stories follow any continuity," Gwen moaned.

"Shut up, Gwen! You dweeb!" Ben shoved her.

And then Gwen was a zombie.

"Wait, what?!" Ben gasped.

(Not really.)

Epilogue...

"I hate Ben Tennyson so much," Clancy fumed as he shook water out of his ear holes. "He's such an overpowered little brat."

"Blame the writers," Doctor Animo said.

"I do," said Clancy. He lifted his pincer arm and shook it in the air. "Fucking Gary Stu!"

"One day, we'll get to be competent villains," said Doctor Animo.

"When will that day come?" Clancy wondered.

"I have no idea," Doctor Animo said. "But until that day, we can always make out or maybe even bang each other."

Clancy's eyes widened. He wore a confused expression. "Huh? But why would we ever do that?"

"It's the law of fucked up shipping fanon that inevitably infests all things," Doctor Animo explained "On the plus side, it gives characters like us the ability to appear in sexual situations we might never appear in otherwise. Because nobody likes us or cares about us. And they certainly don't want to know what we look like naked, or wrestling with each other in steamy carnal situations."

"Oh. Okay. Cool," Clancy said. "Let's do it!"

And then they grabbed each other and made out.

(End?)