How do you know if you're good enough for someone? I can't stand this nagging feeling and the constant thoughts and voices in my head, telling me he deserves better? What if he does? What if I'm just... nobody?
"You alright, babe?" I look at Derek with tear filled eyes.
His eyes are on the road so he's not looking at me. I quickly wipe my eyes and nod. Turning to look out the car window.
"You sure?" He asks worriedly.
"I'm fine Derek! Would you stop asking!" I snapped.
I instantly felt sick and guilty. He pulled the car over to the side of the road and turn off the ignition.
"Are you seriously going to lie to me? I know you're not okay, Stiles, I know you haven't been okay for the past 2 weeks, what is it?" He stares at me with puppy dog eyes.
The tears make their way back to my eyes.
"Am I good enough?" I ask.
Derek was taken back by the question and he frowns.
"Of course you are, why would you ask that?"
I shrug.
"I dunno. I-I just-you could have anyone. Yet you have me, defenceless-clumsy-human-Stiles. Why?" I ask.
Derek leans over the centre console and kiss me on the lips.
"Because me and my wolf chose you. You know that."
"Yeah I know that, but.. Why?"
This was getting frustrating. Derek didn't understand I felt insecure. I'm nothing compared to him. I don't have his body or his looks, I'm clumsy... He's EVERYTHING I'm not... Why didn't he choose better when he had the chance.
Derek looked on my eyes, searching for the answers I wasn't telling him. I shook my head.
"Can we go home now?" I asked, clearing my throat.
He shook his head.
"No, Stiles, we can't. Just tell me why you're thinking like that."
I sigh again.
"Because, everyone tells me that. And... I'm starting to believe them."
Derek tilted my head so he was looking me in the eyes.
"Don't EVER listen to them, Stiles. I love you. I will never leave you. I promise. Okay?"
My heart leaps. But what if..?
I smile and nod. Derek starts the car back up and we continue on our way back to his house.
If it takes pretending that I'm special or trying harder to hide how I'm feeling, that's something I'm willing to work on. Just for that extra bit of time I have with him.