He loved her. He loved her when her lips grazed upon his broken skin, scarred from years and decades worth of missions.
He loved her when she was bad. When she was so angry she only saw what needed to happen in order for the mission to end, no matter the cost.
He loved her after those missions. When she had to be alone and cried her eyes out, knowing there was more red in her ledger now and how she was ever going to erase it, she didn't know. He loved her when all he could do was hold her, her tears staining his shirts.
He loved her when she was happy. When her eyes lit up like a sun rising at the edge of the horizon, when she was calm and peaceful and serene.
He loved her when she walked out, his anger seething through his voice as she slammed the door of their bedroom, not necessarily walking out, but still walking out.
He loved her when she was afraid. So damn afraid of the room that took her childhood away from her. The same room that took his life away from him.
He loved her on that last time. When they thought everything was supposed to be soft sailing and everything was in order. He loved her.
He loved her when the mission got rough. He didn't know what the hell was going on but he knew that this was not what was supposed to be what was happening.
He loved her when he saw her face leaning down on him, begging for him to stay, but he could feel the bullet lodged in his chest, his lungs starting to fail. He loved her when she kissed him for the last time, and his blood was all over her hands.
He loved her, he loved her most when she said "I love you." for the first time in her entire life and he knew that for the first time she meant it, and that was when he knew he could die a happy man.
He loved her when she was begging him to stay, her hands putting pressure over his chest, her voice calling his name, begging for him to stay awake. As he slowly, tortuously brought his hand up to her face- his real hand, trying to wipe away the nonexistent tears on her face, her red hair forming a halo around her face. He finally said it.
"I love you"