Broken Glass and Black Coffee
A/N: I intentionally didn't go into a lot of detail about some events. Feel free to let your imagination wander. If you want details though, just message me I apologize for any mistakes, I'm horrible at catching my own.
Disclaimer: I don't own victorious.
Broken Glass and Black Coffee
She would like to tell you that it was something that happened over time, and that after a painfully slow realization fires had started, and she'd acted on impulse - let the burning of her blood take over - but she couldn't. This would never be a love story. No one would look back on the tale with fondness and she knew why. She's always had a particularly beautiful way of constructing a home in the wreckage of her own life.
And that was what she'd done.
The banging persisted, on and on for the better part of an hour but she pretended not to hear it, pretended that every knock didn't ring out into the room, and then through her like a knife. Her life was pretending.
Then it stopped. There was nothing left but the silence of her hotel room, and the absolute realization that this would be the last time.
Jade West, now 32 with the same stunning darkness that had always clung to her, was alone and she'd willingly turned away the only person that had ever stayed by her side over the years, stayed in spite of all that she had done. She bites back a sob, willing the pain to swallow her in place of getting lost in it. Would the end of this come? Would she know the memory rather than the jagged edges of pain raking over her - into her - or would this be forever?
Where did she go from here?
A month came and went, both in a rush of forgetting, and in the drag or reliving that last night. A night that had seen the coldness return to her that she'd fought - that they had fought - so long to rid her of.
Steam billows and her nose catches the familiar scent of her own brand of coffee as a mug is placed in front of her, mere moments after dropping into her seat at the island in her kitchen.
"Thought you'd need this, and probably ten more to get through today." Cat says, training worried eyes on her friend as she slides into the seat beside her.
"Is there some jack in it?" she rasps out, not looking up from the cup as she wraps her fingers around it much the same way she did every morning.
There's a moment of confusion that flashes over Cat's face, that same innocene staring back at her again as Jade looks up, but thens it's gone. "Do you really want to be drunk for this?"
"How else am I supposed to get through it?" she says far too quickly. It wasn't a joke, but she'd pretend that it was for her friends sake, she chuckles, plastering on the same smug smirk as always.
"Funny." Cat says before pushing away from the island. "I have to go meet the boys and make sure everything is ready, then I have to meet with Tori." Jade knows what's coming next. "She wants you there."
"I bet she does." She's back to staring into the mug of coffee.
"Will you think about it?"
"I'll be at the wedding, what more does she want?"
Cat's face tells of everything she knows better than to say and she just sighs. "I'll see you there then. Thanks for letting me stay."
Ten minutes pass before Cat is closing to door to Jade's house, leaving her alone with the silence again. Before she knows what she's doing the anger she'd been ignoring courses through her and the mug is shattering against the kitchen floor, leaving a mess of broken glass and black coffee.
"She's not coming is she?" Tori's question comes an hour after Cat arrives to help her prepare. She'd been avoiding it, but once the reality finally sat in completely she couldn't hold it back any longer. Jade wasn't coming.
"Did you expect her to?" Cat says, words laced with an aqusation
"I hoped." Tori replies quietly. "I really did."
"She'll be at the wedding, but that's it."
Tori finds herself watching the other woman, studying her just as she had every time they were close enough for her to do so. No longer the vibrant and cheerful girl that Tori once knew. She wondered if that was ever really who she was. After all this time she came to the conclusion that the red head – now it's natural shade – would never be someone to be understood. Then again, wasn't that the case for all of them.
Years had come and gone, events with strangers took over ones with friends, and they all fell apart. She hadn't expected much else, but she had hoped. Always hoping.
"You're starring, Tori." Cat says, looking up from her cell phone.
"I know." Is all she says before busying herself with looking out the window, over the back of her parents yard.
It had been a few years since she'd been here, and she would have liked to keep it that way. Her mother however, had insisted that the wedding reception be held there, somewhere familiar and comfortable. She didn't have the heart to tell her that she would never be comfortable in that house again. Not after everything.
"Do you think this is what dad would have wanted, me being uncomfortable and the idea of having my wedding party here?" She asks, not really expecting an answer.
One comes anyways. "I think he would have wanted you to always be comfortable here, no matter what." It's not Cat's voice that answers her, but her sisters and she whips around so fast the room spins.
"Trina." She moves quickly, clasping her arms around her sister. "I missed you."
"We missed you too." Trina smiles and pulls back from the hug, then steps aside to reveal, Dylan, her son in the door way, a smile plastered on his face.
"Hi, Aunt Tori."
Tori grins from ear to ear and picks the 6 year old up. "Hey, monkey."
Trina is smiling at the pair and gives them a moment before instructing her son to go find his grandmother and play with her until she was done helping his aunt. They all watch as he nods then runs off into the house in search of Miss Vega.
"You look wonderful." Trina says an hour later when Tori's finally in the dress and ready to go. "Absolutely beautiful." She nods her approval and then starts backing out of the room. "I have to get Dylan there, so I will see you there, and don't pull a run away bride."
"TRINA. Not helping." Cat and Tori both yell to the now laughing Trina who's probably half way down the hall.
"You've got this." Cat says.
"Am I supposed to be this nervous. Oh how would you know – you've never been married." She rambles on and Cat just watches in amusement. George was good for Tori, everyone knew it.
She's outside a spectacular looking church, staring up at it's immaculate architecture in an attempt to hold off from walking into the last place she wanted to be. Hours would come and go and they'd offer her nothing more than the very real reality of losing someone she'd forgotten to love when she needed to. Now someone else would be.
Who names their kid George Farkle, anyways? Victoria Vega would become Victoria Farkle in mere hours. The bitterness only claws it's way further and further into her with each passing though.
Letting out a breath Jade steps though the overly large doors and is met with the echos of an empty hall, and further into a beautifully decorated cathedral. How typical; the world inside the church was drenched in white.
Surrounded by white and the dark wood of the pews Jade makes her way through the isle, stands where Tori will stand, and finds herself at a loss. A loss for though, for words, her feelings have numbed out on their ends, and she's left blank.
Tabula Rasa. The words comes to mind after some time, and she couldn't tell you where she'd heard them, or from who – but they were there – and maybe that's what she needed. A clean slate, to step away and make herself forget all that Tori could – and had – offered her.
She couldn't tell you that this what she had pictured for her wedding, or that it should be her that was standing with Tori at the alter later that day. She couldn't do that because she'd never let things progress. She never thought about taking that ultimate leap with Tori, and the one time it had been brought up, delicately, Jade had cut her off at the knees.
They were always everything and nothing at all.
It was this realization that would come to Jade time and time again that would push her to a drunken bout of ridding her mind of the other woman. Sometimes she'd forget days, things would come in and out as a blur, but it would never work. Tori would be at the forefront of her thoughts on the other end, each and every time.
Breath passes over her lips in a sudden bout to refill her lungs as quickly as she can, and the harsh breathing stands out amongst the quiet. Nothing should ever be this quiet.
She needed to get out of there, to rid herself of this place and everything that it was screaming at her. Silence spoke volumes – or something to that extent. She didn't care to think of the proper expression as she started the decent down the isle of an empty church. Is there something funny about that? There should be. Alone, even in the one place you're not supposed to be.
"She'll never forgive you."
The voice causes her to still for a moment, but with a glance over her shoulder, quick and fluid, she's headed towards the exit once more. Not bothering to talk to Andre who'd come from the back somewhere.
"Jade! I said..."
It's abrupt and it's angry when she turns on him, halting his movements to follow her down the isle. "I know, that's what I am counting on." Her words didn't match the pain in her eyes. So sharp and cold, they stood in contrast to to shattered soul he could see in there.
Without waiting for a response she finishes her exit and leaves the church, heavier than when she'd gone in. Despite the resolution of a clean slate. Were they ever clean to begin with. Did the residue of what was one written there stand against being wiped away?
Andre hadn't told her, how could he? The one person she'd made sure would be there for her, had left. Abandoning her again. This would be the last time and be damned if he were about to be the one to rip his best friends world to shreds moments before she was set to walk down the isle and Marry a great man. No, he wasn't the love of her life, and in the beginning Andre had tried to tell her that she shouldn't be with him. Now though, he knew that George was safe, and that was what Tori needed.
She didn't need the reckless, brash, self destructive idiot that is Jade West.
Of course that was just his opinion.
The wedding march blares and he's standing at George's side as his best man – an offer that had surprised him – as Tori makes her grand entrance. She stunning and one look to the man on his right and he knows that George will never take her for granted.
Her eyes though, aren't locked on her soon to be husband. It's quick, and it's impressively subtle, but he sees the hurt flash over her face when Jade isn't where she's supposed to be.
She isn't there at all. Once again she'd made the choice for the two of them. Jade knew, as well as Andre that had she spoken one word. One minuscule word then Tori would drop her world to be with her.
But she's never there. Jade was always sharp edges and bitter.