Locked In

Title: Locked in
Author: Freyaat
Rating: M
Disclaimer: FFVIII doesn't belong to me but Square-Soft (Square-Enix) I just borrowed the characters...yada,yada,yada

Summary: Post war. Something happens to Squall which leaves him in a critical condition.. How might this change his life? How will the people around him react?

Warnings: POV, Yaoi, SxS, M/M, angst, language, self-injury mentioned(?),Rinoa bashing ahead!!!!

# # POV
- - GF's

CHAPTER 1

The oldest excuse

#Squall#

Hyne, why can't they just leave me alone?

"What's wrong with you Squall?" Quistis. Always the nosy, over- protecting instructor.
"I'm fine." Of course I'm not. My head is aching like someone is hitting me with a sledgehammer and this conversation will do nothing to relieve the pain.

"You look like hell. What happened out there Squall?"

I want to scream at her, tell her she should leave me alone, damn it. Of course I don't.

"Quistis! Listen, it was just a fight. I'm perfectly fine. Just tired, okay? So please let me finish work for today." How I hate this paperwork.

"Fine, but if you need something give me a call, okay?" Sure I will. Like hell.

"Yeah, whatever." She looks everything but pleased but finally she starts walking towards the door, not without giving me her 'boy, you're a hopeless case' look.

When the door closes I slump back in my high leather chair. Why the hell is my head hurting that much. Sure I'm used to migraines, comes with the "Commander of Balamb Garden package", but that's not funny anymore. Don't be such a sissy, Squall.

I try to concentrate on my work. The big pile of files on my desktop won't read them on their own. Nor will the letters from president Loire, my beloved father. Yeah, right.

Just when I am about reading through one of the letters the writing goes all blurry. I close my eyes to blink the blurriness away and try to focus my eyes on the scrawly handwriting of Laguna. It won't work. I sigh. Well, I don't like to admit it, but maybe I caught the tiniest bit of a concussion during the fight this afternoon. Not that I'm not used to rough fights with different kinds of beings but maybe I hit my head a little more, than I thought I had?

I am about to consider a trip to the infirmary to get something for my headache, when the door to my office fly's open. Without even looking up I know exactly who is interrupting my thoughts, even before I see her walking in. Hyne could this day get any worse.

"Hey. How is the sweetest of all boyfriends doing tonight?" I just give her a look. She doesn't seem to recognize the annoyance in it. How could she. She never really was able to look through my long practised façade.

"Fine.'m just finishing here." That isn't even a lie. I won't be able to get this done today anyways.

"Great" she cheers. Had she always been that loud?
"I thought we maybe could spend some time together, having dinner and..." She gives me that 'I know you can't resist me' look.
No way. The least thing I want to do right now is anything, especially sex, with Rinoa.
"Look, Rinoa, I'm not in the mood right now, okay?"
She looks at me like I just told her to get out of my life forever. Maybe I should have. I sigh.
"Listen I've a terrible headache and just want to go to sleep. Sorry."
She chuckles. What the hell is so fucking funny about that statement?
"Oh, come on Squally. That's the oldest excuse of the world. Just get your pretty little ass out of that chair and let me 'cure' your headache in our dorm."
She winks at me. When I make no sign of getting up she walks towards my desk and just drags me out of my comfy chair.
For a brief moment my vision goes black and I struggle to keep standing. Hyne, I'm dizzy as hell. She doesn't recognize this of course. She drags me along with her out of the office, through the already sleeping garden and towards our room.

I wonder how I managed to actually get there without tripping because of her speed and my dizziness. When we enter our room, yes OUR room, don't ask, I slump down on the bed, glad she doesn't care to switch on the lights. I am just about drifting off to sleep, when I feel her hand gliding down under my shirt. Not able to stop her at the moment I let her continue. She slowly gets on top of me and I feel her lips on mine. "mmp sst!" She gets away from me just for a moment. "What?" I try hard to fight my growing nausea down. "I said: Stop it! I'm not feeling well...!" The same moment, I toss her down from me and jump out of the bed, running towards the bathroom.

#Rinoa#

What the...? I don't even have time to react when Squall tosses me down on the bed and my body meets the wall. I watch him running out of the bedroom and in the direction of the bathroom and hear him throwing up heavily only a second after.

How can he DO something like that to me? I'm not THAT disgusting or something. I wait for him to stop puking and start apologizing, but of course he doesn't.
Well it seems like it's up to me to fix that once again. With a sigh I get up from the bed and walk to our nicely decorated bathroom. Wich is of course my influence otherwise it would just look like every other SEED bathroom, horrible and cold.

When I switch on the lights Squall winces. He is leaning over the toilet, panting, doesn't even care to look up when I enter the room. So much for the apologize.

"Squall, what's up with you? I thought you'd love me! You might not know that but puking when I start to kiss you is not really the right way to show this."
In fact I really am a little angry. He still stares into the toilet, not showing any reaction.
"May you be so kind and talk to me?"
He's still ignoring me, how dare him.
"Fine, do whatever you want. If you decide to talk to me again sometimes soon, you'll find me at Selphie's."

With that said I rush out of the apartment and make my way to the dorm Selphie lives with Irvine. How can Squall be so cold. I mean, sure he's called 'Shiva's lover' for a reason, but Hyne. I can't stop my tears from falling and crying and sniffing I arrive at my friend's room.

After the fifth time of knocking extra loud, a sleepy auburn haired cowboy opens the door, only dressed in his boxers. Hmm, nice. My tears momentarily forgotten I look at the lean body. Every muscle is designed beautifully with slightly tanned soft looking skin covering it.

"Yah want something special or just staring at me?"
When I realize I actually WAS staring I feel my cheeks start to burn. I look up to meet his inquiring eyes.
"Seeking asylum?" I say putting on my famous puppy glance.

He looks at me, brows furrowed, an unspoken question on his lips, when I hear footsteps behind him.
"Hey Irvy, who is it?" a possibly much more sleepy Selphie asks.
The moment she recognises me she pulls me into the apartment and onto the sofa, to sit right next to me. Before she even could ask I can't fight the tears welling up again. She just holds and comforts me. At least one person who understands what I'm feeling.
"Squall dumped me" is the only thing I manage to stammer.
I see her jaw drop.
"WHAT? How could he? Are you sure, Riny? Maybe it's just a terrible misunderstanding. Tell me what happened!"

So I tell her. I tell her how he didn't want to have sex with me, using an ancient excuse to avoid it. How he was reacting to my kiss and how he was completely rejecting me at last.

When I'm finished she looks at me unbelieving. Irvine, who was standing at the near dining table, shoots Selphie a questioning look. I'm confused a little, what's that supposed to mean? He walks to the neighbouring room and I can hear him talk to someone, probably on the phone.
Selphie just gives me a baffling look and shakes her head slightly. I raise my eyebrow, asking 'what', without vocalizing it.
"Did you ever consider that he might be really sick, Riny?" Now it's my jaw that drops. She doesn't really mean that, does she? I thought she would understand me. I feel the anger starting to grow again.

"So, you're on HIS side now?" She shakes her head. "No, I mean yes, I..." She sighs." Rinoa, look I'm on no ones side, but that sounds serious. He might be really sick or something. It's not like Squall to ignore you, even if he's busy or something."
The concern in her eyes makes me thing about the whole situation again. Maybe she's right, maybe it wasn't because of me. Before I get the chance to answer Irvine reappears in the spacious living room. Meantime fully dressed, including cowboy hat.
"She's on the way checking on him. I'll meet her there." With that he exits the dorm.

#Quistis#

I got Irvine's call about five minutes ago. He told me Rinoa is with them and crying her eyes out 'cause Squall is sick or something. This made me shoot out of bed, knowing that he looked everything but healthy earlier that evening. I got dressed in a hurry. At the moment I'm still running towards the Commanders dorm.

I hope instantly Rinoa was overdoing like she always does. But damn, Squall knows exactly how to fool us when he is in pain and not feeling well.
Finally I arrive at the doorway to Squall's apartment and quickly type in the key code. Thank Hyne he gave me the new code just a few days before.

I rush into the room and find him in the bathroom, curled up in a fetal position and apparently unconscious. When I reach out to touch his thin wrist I feel a faint pulse but his breath comes out in irregular gasps. I get my cell, not taking my eyes off my young Commander, to call the emergency.

Doc Kadowaki might be a great general practitioner but this one seems to be deadly serious. Irvine arrives a few minutes after me and I tell him to get sure the emergency people get here without being delayed.

It seems like an eternity until they finally arrive. I watch them attaching Squall to all kind of monitoring and applying oxygen via a facial mask. They seem to know exactly what they are doing and that calms me a little. One of the men open his eyelids, to check on the pupils I guess, and I can see the alarming look the paramedic gives his colleague.

I feel like trapped in a horrible dream unable to wake up. When a paramedic asks if someone likes to accompany them on their way to hospital I just nod.

Everything happens really fast. They put Squalls limp form on a stretcher and carry him through the corridors of the still quiet Garden. Arriving at the ambulance car they put him in and suggest me to follow them.
"I'll get the others together. We'll meet you there." I nod towards Irvine just before the doors of the car are closed.

It seems to take forever to get to the hospital though it don't even takes us ten minutes. I observe every movement of the paramedics. They constantly check on the little beeping monitor and on Squalls pupils. What's that supposed to mean? I look at the delicate face of my young commander. He looks paler than I ever saw him before, the chocolate brown strands of his hair wrap messily around his expressive face. His usually storm grey eyes are closed and still his breathing seems to be unsteady.

The fast and loud beeping of the monitor makes me jump.
"Bradycardia" one of the paramedic shouts "Heart rate at 36, blood pressure 89/46, trend falling." Of course I'm not able to work out exactly what that means, but I can say from the worries expressions on their faces, it's nothing good.

"Step on it, Ben! We'll loose him!" The paramedic shouts towards the ambulance driver.
"Miss, please sit tight and hold on." He commands in my direction. I do as ordered, not taking my eyes off Squall and the little beeping monitor. His heart beats really slowly, even I can tell that. Oh Hyne. I cover my face in my hands and try to fight back the tears. "Please" I silently pray to Hyne" hang on Squall. Please don't die!"

TBC...

Authors note: So what do you think????? This is a thing spinning around in my head for quite a long time. It's my first English fanfic, so don't flame me if it's full of mistakes or just complete bullsh..t. Maybe I'll get a beta. volunteers -?