So just a bit of a setting thingie:
Akira and company are actors in the Hikaru no Go manga/TV show, and so while they do play go, they're not really pros. Basically, a random AU fic of sorts. Ko Yonha is the Korean Go prodigy who shows up in Volume 20 of the manga. He's the one with the red hair that looks more like a woman than Akira does, if that's possible... -_-;;
/blah/ = thought
Disclaimer: The usual. If I owned any of these characters, the entire manga would've been from Akira's point of view... (j/k) ^_~ But seriously, I don't claim anything, 'cept for the pitiful attempt at humor displayed here.
Now, on with...
The Most Bishounen of Them All
Touya Akira was sitting in his room combing his silky, tangle-free hair as he hummed a tune to himself. Thinking that nothing could possibly ruin his perfect day, he chanced a glance at his mirror and just happened to spot a blur of yellow and black that had just opened his door and was proceeding to move towards him.
/Just great./
The genki boy with bleached hair bounded up to him and decidedly ruin his preening time with a loud, "Hey, Touya! Did you read the opinion polls in Monthly Jump this week?"
"No... Why?"
"That Korean guy your dad plays, you know, Ko Yonha... well, he just beat you in the "Most Bishounen" category..."
For a second, there was complete silence. Then a screech as infuriated as a banshee's erupted from the depths of the raven-haired boy.
"WHAAAAAT?!?! How dare he?!?!"
Ever the helpful one, Hikaru continued on, "You know, the article's writer even mistook him for a girl and wrote "she" a few times..."
"..."
Silence.
"Touya...?"
"..."
Silence again.
"Touya...? Hello? Are you still here?..." Hikaru asked as he waved his hand in front of his friend's eyes. He quickly jerked his hand back and quite possibly even leapt a little when Akira practically screamed, "How dare he take my spot?!?! And he's not even nearly as angsty as me! How dare he overshadow my feminine grace, my girly hair, my beautiful eyes, my..."
"...uh, Touya..."
"And I thought I was supposed to be the only bishounen in this show! I was supposed to draw in the female fanbase with my patented serious, yet sexy, "take me now cause you know you want to be the one to take my mind off of go" look(tm)!..."
/I think it's more like the "make a yaoi pairing out of me with Hikaru as I stalk him cause you want him to take my mind off of go" look... Sides, Sai beat you in all those departments and then some... *sigh* Sai... I miss you... You need to come back to us... if only to keep me sane and out of the way of Touya's mood swings.../
"Oooh, this is awful! This must be settled once and for all! Where is he? We'll see what that pretty boy has to say after I beat him..."
"... you're not really going to, are you...?"
"Of course I'm going to beat him! I'm definitely much stronger than he is! You've seen his strength before when you two got into that fight last week! You know I can easily beat him in a fight!"
"He's a go player, Touya... a go player..."
"So what? So am I! And I aim to prove that it doesn't matter who you are! No one takes my "Most Bishounen" spot that easily!"
And so, the next week was spent plastering flyers and making public announcements as Hikaru was dragged around and forced to help train a fuming Akira for the big fight.
The day of the big fight came and each side had its cheering squad, and despite his worries, Akira still had the majority of women on his side, though there were quite a number of women flocked around Izumi, Waya, and Hikaru... Perhaps what was most disturbing, however, was the fact that there existed older women who were hanging off of a very uninterested Ogata-sensei, and even older women hanging off of his father, Touya Kouyo... If there's one thing Akira didn't want to think about or have images of is what these women wanted to do with his own father.
The fight started at precisely 10 am as both fighters bowed into the ring and begun the battle which would determine just who deserved the right to be called "Most Bishounen" in the popular manga "Hikaru no Go".
The sun was setting, most of the screaming girls had gone home for the day, and the only people left were the combatants and their rivals, er... friends. Finally, the fight was over and everyone held their breath as they heard Akira finally admit defeat.
"Makemashita..."
"No, you mean, "Arimasen."" Yonha's face took on its trademark smug look as he watched his opponent bow his head even further in shame.
"..."
"I can't hear you~"
"... Arimasen..."
"Eh~? What was that?..." Yonha chided.
"Arimasen..."
"What?..."
"ARIMASEN!" Akira looked up at Yonha, and if looks could kill, Yonha would've died 10 times over from the look Akira was giving him.
"Much better. Well, I'm off! Gotta spread the news, right?" Yonha stated through a cheshire grin.
/Arrogant bastard.../
Hikaru decided it was time to comfort his friend, seeing as how he was supposed to have helped him through this fight, but had been too occupied eating ramen from the ramen stand across the street the entire time.
"Gee, never thought there'd be someone more stuck up than you..."
"Shut up, Shindou!"
And so, at the end of the day when all the spaces had been counted and all the stones had been put away, Touya Akira lost his title to Ko Yonha and was forced to settle for second most bishounen in the show.
"Hey, you know, there's always next month's poll... I mean, you might win next month... right?..."
"What's the category next month...?"
"... "Most Arrogant"..."
"SHINDOU!!!"
Ok, so I hope that wasn't too bad... This is why I leave the humor fics to Erin Ellis, and I stick to angst. Anyhow, so a bit of a note:
- "makemashita" means literally, "I have lost" while "arimasen" means "I have nothing". Basically, the end bit was a bad pun where Akira's admitting that he not only lost, but he has nothing on Yonha in the bishounen department. Heh, my own bad joke, I'm afraid... -_-;; *ducks as rotten eggs and tomatoes are thrown*
- Yeah, it was a go game, I know... would've been nice if they had a real fight, right? ^_~ Maybe next time...
Akira: But why would I want to win "Most Arrogant?..."
Hikaru: ...
akai: ...
Akira: Don't you two even start... *glare*
Hikaru: So, what made you think you could even beat him, anyway? You know he kicks ass at go.
Akira: Well, actually, I've never played the guy before... but you two seemed about even when you two played last week... so I just assumed... and, uh... But, uh, that stuff is scripted anyway! You know you can't take anything on the show to be real!
Hikaru: So... Hey, does that mean that I can really beat you in go in real life?...
Akira: ... Not a chance in hell, Shindou.
Hikaru: Awww. Pooey.