title Dreamer
fandom; characters Avatar; Zuko/Katara
rating 12A
prompt 011. Hand
an I got the inspiration from Scott Matthews' 'Elusive'. It's quite beautiful and I suggest you listen to it to try and realise what I'm talking about. :)
summary Zuko dreams of her so much that he can't tell reality from those very dreams.
something says this ain't right
there's more to her than meets the eye
He dreams of her often. She lays beside him, turned away from him with her long dark hair scattered over the pillow. The smell of grass and salt tickles his nose and he watches as the curls in her hair begin to unfurl.
In his dreams he is always afraid to reach out and touch her. He is afraid of his fingers lingering over her bare arms so he holds a tight breath and watches her in his dreams again.
She never moves a muscle, not even to take a breath and whilst his heart screams at him to turn her over to make sure she's alive, he can't. He cannot bring his fingers forward to pull her towards him so he pushes his hand near her so that her hair tickles the palm of his hand.
It gives him a reassurance that the real girl cannot.
And when he awakes in the morning, he turns over to see that she is not beside him. His eyes always search for her and he smiles to himself at his stupidity. Of course she wouldn't be here.
But one morning, his eyes flutter open and she's still there. She kneels by his bed with her sleeves rolled up and his pulls his head back sharply in confusion. There's a strange worried and angry look in her face and he doesn't know what to do with it. She's never looked at him before. Her back is always turned and he finds solace in her rejection, in his cowardice but today it feels different. Today he feels a fire inside of him, wanting to hold her.
He's not sure if she's real or not.
With confused bleary eyes, he reaches out to touch her. Her arms are cold and he furrows his brow at the feel of her soft smooth skin as he wraps his clammy fingers around her arm. Wondering whether this is real or not, he pulls his hand tighter so that his thumb and middle finger touch, her glorious skin still in his hands. Her face creases and she prises his hand away from her arm and puts it by his side.
"You've got a fever," she says in a flat and quiet voice.
He tries to nod to say he's understood but he hasn't. He simply wants to touch her again, to make sure that she's real again.
Her hands gently lean forward and he feels a cooling in his chest. It slowly seeps throughout his body and he begrudingly lets it.
With each passing second of her healing hands, he finds himself losing the dreams of her.
Eventually she pulls away and folds her hands neatly in her lap. "Do you feel much better?"
His eyes droop closed and his silence causes her lips to tighten together. He thinks about the loss of his dreams when a cold and soft hand presses itself against his forehead. He opens his eyes and raises himself a little, causing her to pull away immediately.
"Sorry," she says and her eyes show she means it.
"It's okay," he drawls in a hoarse voice. "Can you heal me again?"
Her face twitches and the pity in her eyes make him shudder a little bit. He only wants her touch, not her compromise.
He keeps his eyes open the entire time, trying to work out if she's the same girl as the girl in his dreams.
A small blush colours her cheeks as she works hard to bend and move the water within him. He can feel the dream slipping away and he doesn't mind as much. His eyes close and he dreams of her again.
Her hair is full of stars and scattered down his pillow. He takes a sharp breath and reaches forwards and pulls her around.
Her eyes are closed and her mouth is full and he suddenly feels very guilty for taking her. For having her here and he pulls back.
His eyes open and morning cries through his window. His room is empty, save for a bowl of water to show her presence and exit.
Laughter sings in from outside and there's a quiet relief in his mind. He folds his arms together as he hears her laughter again and he holds the memory of her touch inside. A single, quiet determination fills his empty hands as hope to touch her again.
an I wrote this a while before I wrote Catch and Release (just posted here) and well, it seems the Zuko has a fever is becoming one of my cliches. Sorry guys. Oh well. Hope you enjoyed it. And huzzah, finished the Avatar upload backlog! Worth mentioning though, that my livejournal account khushiyan is regularly updated and , only when I remember it.
an2 Just realised, I had previously uploaded a fic called 'Dreamer' but it was actually 'Growth', which I had then posted twice. Sorry about that. Only noticed a while ago and then thought I imagined it. :(
- khushiyan