This one was inspired by a meme which I cannot remember where I found it. I will be taking suggestions and as always love and cherish reviews! I also apologize for any mistakes in terms of British culture, I am not from Britain and although I love British TV shows and literature have never actually visited myself. Not all the science will be possible or correct in these fics, as I am merely writing them for amusement rather than plot.
"What are you doing?" John said loudly, the groggy haze of sleep dissipating with the alertness of a soldier as the golden orange light danced across his features. It was approximately 5 am in the morning and John had been awoken by a muffled "Aha!" and the faint scent of something burning. He had rushed down the stairs with a concerned and curious, "Sherlock? Sherlock!" to be met with an odd and rather confusing sight; Sherlock hunched over a metal cooking bowl and an assortment of materials surrounding him including but not limited to an empty package of Jaffa Cakes, a thermometer, and various laboratory items. Dull flames flickered from the dish as he leaned a little too close for comfort, his curls dangling precariously over the rippling fire.
"Bored." Sherlock said simply, a smile playing on his lips as the fire in the bowl raged a little higher.
John stormed in the kitchen, and found upon further inspection that the contents of the dish was in fact two Jaffa Cakes, now sizzling in the rising flame. Nearby there was a second bowl filled with a thin layer of clear liquid that was covered in a layer of fizzing foam.
"Generally when people are bored they watch the telly, or maybe even actually consider getting an ounce of sleep." John said, his face hard as he viewed the scene, "Have you been up all night?" This much was evident by the fact that Sherlock was still dressed in the neatly trimmed suit he had been wearing the previously day.
"Sleep is boring." Sherlock said vacantly as he turned his attention to the other bowls contents, "-And contrary to inconceivable popular believe rather unhelpful." This fact wasn't entirely true for most people. Then again, John considered, Sherlock seemed to somewhat of an enigma.
John sighed, his mind thanking at least Sherlock's consideration to put his experiment in a bowl, and remembering the holes cheekily grinning at them from the sitting room wall. He must be lowering his standards.
"Is that a Jaffa Cake?" John said suddenly.
Sherlock harrumph, "Brilliant John, I should have assumed that you would be able to observe such a fact when even the most obvious things allude you."
Ignoring the jab at his waistline, John said, "How come it's on fire?"
This question seemed to please Sherlock, "I've been at it for two hours." He said happily, prodding the dying inflamed Jaffa Cake with a fork.
"How exactly is this an experiment exactly?" John said, surrendering to the fact he would not be able to fall asleep again and heading towards the kettle.
Sherlock didn't answer. John took this as one of his don't be a moron, figure it out moments and thought for a minute until he said, "Jaffa Cakes aren't flammable. Did you cover it in something?" Not seeing any other substances in the bowl, John just hoped dearly Sherlock hadn't used anything too explosive.
"No they aren't. Or, to say, they weren't." Sherlock said, his smile growing wider and the flames licked higher.
"Why'd you light them then?"
"I wanted to see if I could do it." Sherlock gave the sizzling foamy bowl a sniff before glancing at the clock on the kitchen counter by the door.
"You lit Jaffa Cakes on fire because..." John trailed off, sipping his tea and gripping the edge of the counter top, "How did you do it?"
Sherlock chuckled, "I honestly didn't think it would work, I even prepared a solution of pure liquid cesium as a backup in case I couldn't make it combust without proper prodding. Though that would be very dull."
"Well the fire seems to be dying down now." John observed, walking over to his chair and sipping again at his mug.
"Sadly." Sherlock agreed with the disappointment of a child who had just finished their last bit of chocolate.
"So is that fizzing stuff the cesium?" John asked distractedly.
"Yes," Sherlock said, frowning, "Though why it is fizzing I am not entirely sure, as I only mixed it with-" He was cut off as the bowl let out a roar and flames burst free from the solution and spit a tongue of fire dangerously close to Sherlock's face, skimming his cheek and causing him to yelp in surprise. The bowl tipped off the table as he jumped backwards and sent a column of flames towards the leg of the table. There was a crackle as whatever caused the solution to react continued to interact with the liquid cesium.
Hearing the noise from the kitchen John slammed his mug down on the side table , spilling some of the dark liquid without care, he stood up swiftly and began his dash towards the fire. John picked up his point from earlier of normal people 'watching telly or sleeping' when they are bored and yelled, "Normal people don't light Jaffa Cakes on fire Sherlock!" He roared with surrendered exasperation and anger.