I dedicate this to my friend, pendragon4, because she took a look at this one for me. (Hiiii!)

Title: Forever Broke

Setting: The Bebop Ship, sometime after Ed's arrival

Summary: The Bebop crew are suffering through the longest bounty dry spell yet. When Ed discovers that a bad guy will get them food, she hacks into the police files and digs up a fugitive that was never caught. Faye is hot on his trail before Spike and Jet warn her of the consequences....

Disclaimer: I wasn't really capable of reading or writing when this series came out... so obviously I don't own this.

Chapter One

American Money

"Howdy! How're all you three hundred thousand bounty hunters in the Sol solar system doin'?"

"It's time for Big Shot, the show that brings you information about fugitives!"

"As you all know, there haven't been too many bounties to catch due to a very crime-free period of time."

"Golly, I don't know whether that's good or bad!"

"Well shucks howdy, I'm going to say it's bad because there aren't any new bounties this week either!"

"Sorry!"

"But be sure to stay tuned, 'cause we've got a real—" Jet flipped the television off and leaned against the railing.

"You up, Spike-o?" he asked the poofy-haired man draped over the couch.

"'Course I am," came the tired reply. "It's hard to sleep when stomach acid is attacking your liver."

Jet chuckled. "We've all been there."

"Yeah, we'll we haven't been here this long before. What's it been? Two weeks? Three?"

"Five."

"Damn," Spike muttered, letting his head loll off the couch in an effort to increase the amount of blood to his brain. All he succeeded in doing was showering cigarette ashes on the ground. Ein immediately trotted over and sniffed it to see if it was edible, but he soon sulked off, sneezing from the smoke.

Jet cleared his throat and said, "I just came to ask if you wanted to… you know… get a job or something."

"Hell no. You get a job."

"Hey, you know I can't leave the Bebop. Imagine what would happen if I left you, Faye and Ed on this ship alone."

Spike grumbled something unintelligible and massaged his rumbling stomach. "What's on the menu for tonight?"

"Same as yesterday—ice cubes and stale oyster crackers." Jet paused long enough to watch Ed walk by doing a refined imitation of a zombie. "Like I've said before," he continued when she was gone, "the options aren't gonna change unless you catch someone."

"It's hard to catch someone if there's no one to be caught," Spike muttered, easing himself into a sitting position. "By the way, where's Faye? She should be trying to break into the safe right about now."

As if on cue, there was a loud clank of metal against metal, followed by a stream of cussing.

"Ah, shit. I'll go stop her." Jet pushed himself out of his chair and jogged down the hallway, out of sight. Spike could easily hear their quarrelling.

"What the hell do you think you're doing, Faye?"

"I'm fishing. What does it look like I'm doing?"

"It looks like you're trying to break into the safe. Again."

"Oh, really?" Spike chuckled at the sarcasm in her voice. "I didn't know this was a safe!"

"Cut it out, Faye. We're in the middle of the longest dry spell in bounty history and the last thing we need is for you to waste all our money in the slots."

"It is not a waste. It is for a very noble cause."

"That cause being?"

"My entertainment."

"Spike-person," a voice at Spike's elbow chimed in. He let his head roll to the side and his gaze met a pair of wide amber eyes.

"Waddaya need, Ed?"

"When will Bebop-Bebop have food again?"

"As soon as we catch a bounty," Spike told her frankly.

"O-oh!" Ed sang in understanding. "Ed gets it now. Spike-person needs a bad guy to beat up!"

"Well—"

"Radical Edward has the solution!" she interrupted, posing dramatically as if she had just conquered the coffee table. Spike waited for her to finish, but a few seconds later, all she did was dive onto Tomato and frantically pound the keyboard.

He watched her type for a bit, then said, "Don't hurt yourself," before rolling off the couch and strolling towards his other two crew members. He considered it part of his daily meditation to break up the arguments between Jet and Faye. Besides, it was more entertaining to watch them than to listen to them.

When he found the pair, they were already shouting at each other.

"The money stays here!"

"Then give me my cut!"

"Your cut doesn't exist until we're fed!"

Spike humbly blew a smoke ring. This was fun.

"But if you'd just let me—"

"Enough, Faye," Jet said, using his ISSP voice. "I don't care how little money you think you need, you're not gambling any of it away."

She opened her mouth to protest, but Ed suddenly interrupted with a squeal from down the hall. "Spike-person! Spike-person, Ed has done it!"

"What'd she do?" Faye and Jet asked in unison, forgetting their argument entirely. Spike merely shrugged, then sauntered back to the lounge with the other two following curiously.

"Spike-person," Ed grinned, "here's a bad guy!" She pointed proudly to the screen, which displayed a fuzzy image of a nondescript man smiling uncertainly at the camera.

Faye leaned over and read, "Novik, Matthew."

"Thank you, Faye," Spike said facetiously. She glowered at him before returning her attention to the screen.

"He's an embezzler from earth? He's probably just on a different planet right now; thinks he's safe. Why hasn't this one been aired?"

Jet shrugged. "Search me. Seems like some easy money, thou—"

"Dibs!" Faye interrupted. "Ed, look up the name in the phone books in the solar system."

"Okie-dokie, Faye-Faye," the girl chanted as her fingers beat out a rapid rhythm on the keyboard. Within the minute, Faye had the address in her hands.

"He's on Mars, too," she announced as she sauntered to her aircraft. "This'll take me five minutes. Embezzlers are always pussies."

"Be careful, Faye," Jet said pointlessly, as if she would listen. She blasted off towards the downtown area and left Jet and Spike on the much quieter Bebop. With a sigh, Jet sat in front of Tomato and reexamined the information on Matthew Novik. "Is it just me, or is there something suspicious about all this?" he tiredly asked Spike.

"I think it's just you," Spike said casually, rolling his cigarette between his fingers. Jet glanced at him, half-amused and half-annoyed.

"No, look at his date of birth. Look at his crime. This doesn't seem right." Spike leaned over his partner's shoulder and scanned the information.

"Huh. That's funny. You sure—"

"Positive," Jet affirmed grimly, sitting up straighter. Then he barked, "Ed, get me that bounty's phone number." He turned to his own monitor and switched on the telephone. "We've got to call Faye. Hopefully, the guy isn't home and we can get her out of this mess."

In the meantime, on the surface of Mars, Faye was strolling into the lobby of an ancient apartment complex, whistling "I'm in the Money" as she pushed the buzzer.

"Who is it?"

"Package."

The door clicked open and she slipped inside. It wasn't hard to find Novik's apartment; it was the only one on the first floor that didn't have wooden planks nailed over the doors. She was still whistling as she pulled out her gun and kicked his door.

"Put your hands behind your head! You're coming with—" Faye gasped and took an involuntary step backwards.