Ok, this right here is just what it says, the product or writer's block. I was also just as bored as everyone in this fic.





I just started writing down all the little stupid shit that I think is funny to picture the Sonic characters doing and made it into a story. I also decided to make it just the Sega Sonic universe. Why? Cuz I can! ~shrugs~ Anyway, this is basically a bunch of failed attempts at humor. Read if you feel like it, and if you're easily amused, and be blunt as you want in reviewing.

There are also likely a lot of typos and such in here, because it was getting late and I was just kind of writing away.

Sonic the Hedgehog and all related characters are © Sega.





MTV2 and Control Freak are, I'm sure, registered trademarks of MTV. Ask me if I give a damn.

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~The Product of Writer's Block~ (or, "This Blows") ~By Gina Trujillo~

"What's up with this shit?" Tails muttered to himself as he sat back in his chair with a bit of a sigh. His blue eyes locked upon the lightly glowing screen of his computer, and he watched in total boredom as yet another page of an online comic took its sweet time loading. He'd thought the comic would be interesting at first, but then it kind of went sour. The artwork was cheep, the plot was nonexistent, and the text was full of typos.

All of this brought up a question: why the hell was he still looking at it, then?

The answer was simple: because he was bored and waiting for someone.

Tails' hand took the computer's mouse and guided the small cursor across the screen to the bottom tool bar. Maximizing all three of the messenger programs he had turned up the same thing as before.

No one was online, except for himself.

"This blows." He muttered, slumping back in his chair once again.

And this brought up another question: why the hell was he even bothering to stay on the computer instead of finding something valuable to do with his time?

The answer to this was also simple: because he was being a freakin' retard!

The monotony of life was truly starting to get to him, and he was becoming more and more hermit like all the time. He seldom left his workshop, even if someone came over to see him. There hadn't been any big disasters as of late. Eggman seemed to be lying low for the most part. Still, there was a plus side to this. At least once the mad scientist came out of hiding again, something cool was bound to happen.

He was starting to suddenly think like Sonic, and that disturbed him very much, for he figured that the next step over would be for his brain to totally shut down.

Pushing his chair away from the computer, Tails decided it was about time to go and get himself something to eat.

~*~

"I hate this bullshit."

Meanwhile, far off on Angel Island, a certain echidna was lying back on a couch in his house, propped up on a pillow and covered up to his chest with a blanket. His eyes were staying about half open and he kept sniffling now and then. He'd woken up that morning feeling like hell and his condition wasn't improving as time went on. Being such a loner, he had no one around to help him out with this one, and so was falling into a fit of self-pity. This was very un-becoming of him. And he realized this, too.

"This blows." Knuckles whimpered.

Still, had anyone been there, he would have immediately been in much better condition, simply because he couldn't let anyone see him being a whiney baby about anything, especially a little cold.

This was really starting to frustrate him. He needed to at least feel like there was someone there so he'd stop being so whiney. Without really thinking, he picked up the phone and started to dial numbers.

~*~

"I'm bored off my ass." Sonic grumbled to himself as he paced back and forth in his house. He glared at the TV, which he had on mute because MTV2 was playing The Queens of the Stone Age video for the ten millionth time today. The song was alright the first time around, and the video was only funny the first five million times.

Maybe it was about time he actually went and voted on this stupid Control Freak thing.

Deciding it was the best plan he had, he zoomed over to his computer and got on the internet as quick as he could. His messenger logged on automatically and he noticed that Tails was online. He typed messages to him as he searched the MTV2 site for a good song to vote on and soon realized that good music had gone the way of the dodo years ago, about the time a plague called boy bands popped up. The music world was still trying to recover from the near fatal blow, it seemed.

"This blows." Sonic slammed his hand on the desk after nearly half an hour -far too long for him to have dedicated his time to anything. He shut down his computer and stood from his chair, only to jump ten feet as the phone rang. Quickly, he picked it up.

"Hello?" Sonic said into the receiver.

"Hey, Sonic." A groggy voice on the other end said, "What's up?"

Sonic stood there for a minute, totally baffled. "Who is this?" He asked.

"It's me, Knuckles." Came the reply.

"Knux? Dude, you sound like shit."

"Eh." Knuckles replied casually, "What's up?"

"Nada." Sonic plopped himself down on the couch, turning off the muted TV, "I've been bored off my ass all day. Please tell me you've got some disaster or somethin' goin' down! I really need something to do!"

"Nope. Nothing's going on here." Knuckles replied, painfully slow for Sonic's liking, "But if you just want something do to, I'm sure I could dig up some kind of stupid mission."

Sonic tried not to laugh at the strange way that Knuckles' voice was sounding, "Like what?"

There was a long pause.

"I have no fucking clue." The echidna finally replied, his imagination all but gone at time moment.

Sonic let a slight snicker slip, "Dude, you really sound bad. What's up?" He asked, trying to sound somewhat concerned.

"Eh, it's nothing." Knuckles replied, "Guess I'm just catching a cold."

Catching? If this was just the beginning of it, this would be the cold that would send him to the grave once it was in full swing! Still, he had to act like everything was cool.

Sonic kept himself from laughing again, "Ah. That's gotta suck."

"Yeah, pretty much." Knuckles replied. He suddenly felt a sneeze coming on. "Hold on." He told Sonic, then quickly set down the phone and grabbed a tissue.

The hedgehog smirked slightly as he listened to Knuckles go into a sneezing and cussing fit on the other end of the line. For some odd reason, he had the feeling this was going to be the most amusing thing that'd happen today.

And in lots of ways, that was very pathetic.

~*~

Tails returned to his computer, a soda in his hand and a stomach full of canned soup. He sat down quickly, seeing that someone had messaged him while he was gone. Sonic was online! The instant message read:

TruBlu: yo TruBlu: dude ? TruBlu: u there ? TruBlu: guess not

A final line leapt up on the screen just as Tails started to type that he was back.

TruBlu: l8er bro

And Sonic's screen name went off-line.

Tails stared at the screen for a moment, then hit his head against the keyboard a couple of times.

Sonic would later receive and off-line message that would read as follows:

T2: ymjnhu gtyhn

~*~

Meanwhile, off in the Mystic Ruins, a small stream flowed by. Sitting beside this was Big the Cat, the end of his fishing line bobbing lazily in waters that held no fish. He chuckled to himself on occasion for no real reason.

Froggie was sitting on a rock near by, looking for bugs to catch. There were none to be seen, and his stomach didn't like that at all. "This blows." He would have said if he could talk.

The two were blissfully unaware of anything that was going on in the technological world beyond their little piece of jungle.

So what the hell do they have to do with anything?

Nothing. This story's humor depends totally upon randomness, and that was about the most random thing that could be thrown in without going out of the Sonic universe's bonds!

~*~

Knuckles sat back on the couch and sniffled a few times after his sneezing fit. He let an ever so slight whimper escape before he shook himself and tried to put on his tough guy act so he could pick up the phone again.

Before the receiver was even to his ear, he could hear Sonic laughing.

"What's funny?" He asked, sniffling still.

"Oh my God, dude! Was that you who made that sound?" Sonic asked, chuckling still.

"What sound?"

"Like a hurt dog or something!"

Knuckles looked confused, but this wasn't much help in the way of an answer, seeing as he was on the phone.

Sonic laughed again, "You just whimpered, didn't you?"

"No." Knuckles replied bitterly.

"Hell yes, you did! I didn't even know you could make that noise, man! That was freakin' pathetic!"

"Sonic, shut up!" Knuckles growled.

Sonic tried to stifle more laughter, "Sorry, Knux. It's just been a really freakin' boring day and that right there was the funniest thing I've heard all day!"

Silence.

"Dude, don't be mad! I'm sorry. I'll try to be cool now."

Still nothing.

"C'mon, dude, I said I was sorry. You don't have to be all-"

Suddenly, a robotic voice on the other line said, "Please hang up and try your call again. If you need help, hang up and dial the operator or assistance. This is a recording."

Knuckles had, apparently, hung up on him.

Sonic shrugged a bit and hung up the phone, clicking on the TV only to find the tail end of an Emenem video, followed promptly by the beginning of one by Pink.

"This blows." Sonic muttered, watching the screen like a zombie anyway.

~*~

Knuckles felt like he was getting sicker now. Sonic was such a jerk sometimes, and at the moment, it pissed him off more than usual. He sniffled some more and let another whimper escape, realizing now that it really did sound pathetic when he did that. Like a hurt dog, just as Sonic had said.

All he wanted was to feel better. Maybe just a little sympathy? No! He didn't need sympathy! He was the Guardian! But-

Knuckles' eyes fell to the phone again. His hand slowly started to dial a number.

No way was he sinking this low.

Was he?

He listened to the phone ring. Suddenly, the sound of a Brittany Spears song assaulted his ear and he yanked the phone back for a second before it was turned down.

"Hello!" An overly chipper voice came.

Knuckles hesitated for a moment. "Uh, hi. Amy Rose. This is Knuckles."

"Oh, hi!" Amy said, "Are you alright? You don't sound good. Are you sick?"

Again, Knuckles hesitated, then just flat out replied, "Yes." And he whimpered.

"Oh, you poor thing!" Amy said in the most sympathetic of tones, "I'll bet you just need to talk to someone, huh? I always feel better if I talk to someone while I'm sick! Tell you what, hold on a second! I'll get Rouge on three-way calling and we can all chat!"

Knuckles smirked slightly as he considered telling Sonic later on that after he'd hung up on him, he had a three-way with Amy and Rouge. The thought of the expression on his face was so priceless, he decided it was a must say. He snuggled down into his blanket and waited for the two girls to come on the line.

~*~

What is the point of this story? Is there any deep message or moral or anything?

Hell no! The point of this story is to show what kind of stupid ass thoughts come into the mind of a certain chick when she's got bad writer's block! So for all of you out there who are mad that I'm not writing the stuff as fast as you want, look at it this way: You can wait a while and get a half-ways good story out of me, or I can just try to write while I have a block and end up with a piece of crap like this! You decide.

But did you at least laugh a little? Huh, huh? Did'ja? Did'ja?

Well?!

Eh, whatever.

~End~ (Aren't you glad?) ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Sonic the Hedgehog and all related characters are © Sega. I do not claim any band/musician names within this story, either.

Story © Gina Trujillo, Feb 04, 2003 (as if anyone would want to claim this piece of crap.)