Dealing out Some Justice
(AN: I do not own any of the characters from The Loud House. They are under the ownership of Chris Savino, the Loud House production team and Nickelodeon Studios.
So…please, don't sue me.)
Nighttime in Great Lakes City; a time of work for some, revelry for most and for others…criminal activity. In a particular part of town, there stood the Ace in the Hole Casino and Dance Club; Great Lake City's most popular hangout. A place where couples could have a night of passion and singles could have a night of chance.
As the midnight hour slowly approached, the time came for the workers to clock out and head home. "See ya tomorrow, Herbie" said one of the bouncers, "you too, Rocco; give the missus my regards" said another. The two men collected their things and bad their employer, Miss DiMartino, good evening.
"Have a good night, boys" she said with a smile, "I will see you in the morning." But just as Herbie reached for the door; they suddenly swung open, knocking him onto the floor. Everyone gasped, upon seeing their colleague fall but none of them spoke harshly to the assailant.
All staff members trembled fearfully as Don Anthony Soriano, known by many as The Loan Shark, waltzed into the room; like the cock of the walk. Several waitresses winced slightly, as the light gleamed off of his rings and fang-like grin. But not one person dared to speak, as he took a seat at the bar.
"Barkeep…a round of scotches on the rocks for me and my associates, please" he requested with a snap of his fingers. As Loan Shark's entourage of bodyguards approached, the barkeep quickly began his work on making the drinks. While they were being prepared, Miss DiMartino nervously approached Don Soriano.
"Uh…Good e..e..evening, Sir" she murmured, "what can I get you…" Don Soriano held up his hand, silencing her; as his drink was, at last being handed to him. After taking a sip, he smacked his lips with satisfaction and gazed at .
"Had a good night's work, I trust" he asked calmly, to which all gathered 'round him simply gave a silent nod in response. "Good, that's good…then, I guess you have enough to pay off this month's rent?" he inquired suddenly. The entire casino echoed with sounds of alarmed gasps.
"But…I thought we still had another week to pay you" exclaimed Miss DiMartino, both shocked and bothered. After sampling another drink, the Loan Shark turned on his stool and faced her with a grin. "I'm afraid that, due to helping repair those…unforeseen damages to your slot machines, last week; we had to push up the due date a little" he chuckled.
His flunkies joined in on the laughter, which only seemed to further offend the casino staff. "HEY! The only reason there were any damages is because your pal over there got drunk and had a hissy fit after losing a game" shouted a young cocktail waitress. The leader of Soriano's bodyguards growled at the woman.
"Hey, ya dumb broad" he roared with outrage, "how do I know you and your hussy of a boss didn't try to cheat me, just for giggles?!" To say that Miss DiMartino was offended by such an accusation would be a gross understatement. But before she could speak up; more of her employees began calling out the don.
"This isn't the first time you called for rent too early either, ya fat pig" shouted the cigar vendor. "You did this last month and the month before!" Several more employees called out in outrage.
"You're just a bottom feeder, leeching off of decent, hardworking people; like you did to everyone else in this town" shouted a dancing girl. Enraged, Soriano's team of bodyguards prepared to rush forward and lay waste to the whole room. But both and Don Soriano held up their hands and both sides swiftly fell silent.
After taking a moment to collect herself; Miss DiMartino approached the don, took a knee and kissed his hand respectfully. "With all due respect, Don Soriano" she breathed out calmly, "I may need more time and more cooperation from your…associates, if I'm expected to pay our rent on time." Her group whispered silently, proclaiming that her wishes seemed rather fair and that the Loan Shark wouldn't dare deny her a favor.
After sampling one final drink, Don Soriano took her hands in his…and gripped them tightly. "I'm afraid I must refuse" he stated, "I already gave you one favor by helpin' you make this business of yours possible, three years ago…have you forgotten that?" Miss DiMartino winced softly, as the mobster's grip intensified ever so slightly.
The guards all chuckled maliciously, all knowing what was about to happen next. "After I helped you, I asked only one thing in return…to pay me on time" Soriano growled, baring his teeth. "Please, I…I will keep that promise" pleaded, "just give me a little more time!"
The Loan Shark shook his head and pulled out her arm slightly. Then, he proceeded to slowly draw back her sleeve with a malicious grin. "I'm sorry, dear" he chuckled, "but everyone needs to be disciplined from time to time."
Licking his lips, Don Soriano eased his teeth forward to the woman's arm. Enraged by such a disrespectful display, the staff attempted to aide her. Sadly, they were quickly outmatched by the mob boss' team of bodyguards.
The wait staff struggled and strained beneath the men holding them down. But try as they might, they couldn't free themselves from their captors. All they could do was lie there and watch, as their beloved employer was about become chum.
Suddenly, there came a whooshing sound and something shattered through one of the high windows. This unforeseen object struck Soriano in the eye, causing him to unhand and stumble in pain. After regaining his footing, seconds later; he angrily swiped his arm over his face.
This caused the object to clatter onto the floor at his feet. With his right eye blazing red with irritation, he plucked the item off the ground and examined it. "What is it, boss; a poison dart" asked one of the guards.
The rest of Soriano's men grumbled with annoyance at the idea. "Pal, you've been watchin' too many jungle explorer movies" one of them stated. All was silent, for about five seconds and then; Soriano let out a gasp of alarm.
"C'mon, you guys" he shouted, "pack up your stuff and scram before they get here!" After that, Soriano proceeded to reveal the item that struck him; a lone playing card. Normally, people wouldn't pay any attention to such a thing.
But when the bodyguards saw the black ace printed on the front, they knew they were in trouble. Just as Soriano and his men rushed through the exit, a blinding light suddenly shined on them. "AH! Dang it, what's with the light show?!" grimaced Soriano, while shielding his eyes
"You all looked a little lost" a voice chuckled, "thought we'd do you a kindness and offer a light" another voice stated. Each of the bodyguards quivered slightly, knowing full well who the voices belonged to. At that moment, two figures suddenly appeared before them.
One was a young man with snow white hair, a black mask wrapped around his eyes, a red leotard with an ace symbol upon his chest, a utility belt and black boots. The fellow beside him was a young African-American bearing an eye patch over his right eye. He wore a Union Jack shirt, red gloves, black shoes and bore a curly mustache on his top lip. The gang soon realized that they found themselves, face to face with Ace Savvy and One-Eyed Jack.
"Hassling people for small change again; eh, Loan Shark?" inquired Ace boldly, "we thought bottom feeders only ate the leftovers" Jack chimed in. Don Soriano growled with annoyance, he always loathed being called a shark. But despite this, he did his best to keep cool.
"Ace, my friend" Soriano chuckled pleasantly, "how good to see you again, how's life been treating you?" "Don't be coy with us, Soriano" Ace retorted, "the police may buy into your charms…but not us!" Feeling impatient and wishing to hurt the duo, one of Soriano's men attempted to move forward.
But the mob boss quickly blocked his path with his cane. "You sure we can't go inside and talk this over with a drink" he offered, "no thanks, we only prefer soda pop" Ace quipped. Soriano growled bitterly at their continuing defiance.
"Well, then; I suppose there's no way to dance around this any further" he sighed. "Got that right…but if you're looking for a fight. It's only fair to tell you you're going to lose" Ace stated. These words caused the Soriano Gang to suddenly burst into a fit of laughter.
"And just what makes youse guys think you'll win" shouted a guard, "there's twenty of us here and only two of you there." It is with that statement that one of the other bodyguards asked how the two of them got there alone. With that said, the lights suddenly shut off and they could see a large van standing behind Ace and Jack.
"What makes you think we came alone?" questioned Ace, gesturing at the van. Suddenly, the doors slid/popped open and out came Ace's faithful team; The Full House Gang. "Alright, everyone" Ace called out, "ready to deal out some justice?"
There came a loud and collective cheer and the Full House Gang leapt into action. Soriano growled at the group blocking their path. "Don't just stand there, you idiots; take them down" he roared, beating a few men with his cane. Two bodyguards rushed forward and confronted The High Card, who was texting idly on her communicator/phone.
"We'll give ya one chance, Missy" one of the guards stated, "surrender and we'll only rough ya up just a bit." High Card ceased typing and glared at the two goons. "Puh-lease, you think I'm scared of you two clods" she shrugged, "I live in a house with nine rowdy siblings; you're nothing, compared to that.
Offended, the two guards charged at her like a pair of bulls. But High Card did not move an inch, as if baiting them. Finally, as the two men got close enough, she reached behind her back and drew out a bolas with two large die on both ends.
With a flick of the wrist, she twirled her weapon in hand and struck both men soundly between their eyes; leaving large card symbols imprinted on their faces. Elsewhere; another, much bigger guard proceeded to grab the bar's cash register and attempted to run off with it.
But before he could reach the door, the man suddenly heard the cry of "WIPE OUT, INCOMING!" Upon turning around, the guard was soon caught in a tidal wave of sparkling water. The wave sent him flying out onto the streets, where he landed into the puddle it left behind.
As he eased his head up; he spotted The Royal Flush, one of the younger members of the Full House Gang, standing by the drink dispensers and smiling proudly. At another part of the room, the Eleven of Hearts and the Queen of Diamonds were soon surrounded by five burly guards. But despite this, both appeared rather calm.
"Five against two…I like those odds" quipped the little queen, "wait…does that mean we've got the upper hand or them?" questioned the Eleven of Hearts. The little one rolled her eyes softly and gestured for her older sibling to tie her belt around her. She did as instructed, as the guards closed in around them.
Once they got close enough, Queen of Diamonds gave the signal. "How about a little twirl, Sis" she chuckled, her older sibling got the idea and began swinging her around by her belt. Upon doing so, Queen of Diamonds proceeded to throw her crown; which flew around at a rapid speed (thanks in part to the spin.)
This combo successfully knocked out all the guards and both sisters high-fived each other in victory. Down by the stage, One-Eyed Jack was locked in the middle of a fierce fistfight with two guards. While on the stage; Card Counter, the team's resident genius, was in the midst of some calculations.
"If my plan is sound…which it almost always is, this should do the trick" she murmured with a lisp. "Make haste, Night Club; set the sound system's volume control to its maximum level." Night Club gave a nod and signaled with the rocker's devil horn gesture, before heading to the system.
After following her instructions, Night Club chuckled pleasantly and plugged in her instrument. "Get ready to party your sunglasses off, meatheads" she called out loudly. Sensing what was to come, the Full House Gang quickly plugged up their ears for safety.
But the bodyguards realized too little too late what was going on. After Night Club delivered a mighty power chord, they were all sent flying into the air. When they finally landed on the buffet table, the men's ears rang louder than an air raid siren.
Sore and soiled with all manner of food stains, the men attempted to get back onto their feet. Only for them to be swiftly struck down by a small brown blur. Said blur was Strong Suit, the "muscle" of the Full House Gang.
Like a set of downed bowling pins, Soriano's men collectively fell hard onto the floor; some landing unceremoniously on the tables stationed about. "Better call the army, Soriano" exclaimed Strong Suit, "maybe they can loan you some tougher guys." The don snarled under his breath and ordered what remained of his men to draw out their weapons.
Without a second thought, each bodyguard drew out mini Tommy Guns and took aim. Sensing what was to come, Ace ordered everyone to find cover. Afterwards, the gang ordered the casino staff to do the same and they followed suit.
But just before everyone took cover, one of the guards was suddenly shot in the side. Ace quickly rushed to her side and inspected the wound. "Don't worry" she winced, "it is only a scratch, I can manage."
Not wanting to take a chance, Ace asked the Eleven of Hearts to use her belt and tie it around the wound. While this was happening, he tried his best to think of a plan of attack. "It's no good, Ace" sighed Strong Suit, "even at my best…I can't take them all on at once.
Everyone tried their hardest to think of what to do. But with slightly injured and the Soriano Gang still fresh with ammo, there were few chances to fight back. Then, Ace felt something suddenly tug at his cape.
He turned around and saw the littlest member of their team, The Deuce smiling at him. But soon after that, his nostrils met with the pungent aroma of her dirty diaper. "This is one of the worst times to get a stinky, sweetie" groaned Ace, plugging his nose.
The Deuce shook her head and pointed at her diaper; hoping he'd get the message. It took a while but at last, Ace understood what she meant. "Everyone, time to clear the room" quipped Ace, taking Deuce's diaper in hand.
As everyone took in a quick inhale of clean breath, Card Counter handed protective masks to each member of the casino staff. "Trust me, you will thank us for these" she stated, heading back into position. With that done, Ace took in a breath and threw the diaper over his shoulder.
At that moment, one of the bodyguards briefly ceased firing and spotted the projectile heading toward them. Before anyone could react, the diaper hit the floor hard and a small mushroom cloud of stank filled the room. Soriano and his men hacked and gagged violently, upon smelling the aroma.
"For Heaven's sake" cried the mob boss, "what is that family feeding that child?!" With them all temporarily incapacitated, the Full House Gang took action. Each one of them swept in and proceeded to throttle each member of Soriano's group.
In the end, they were victorious…in spite of the cloud of dirty diaper smell and the "minor" property damage around them. "Do not worry, leader" the Card Counter quickly interjected, then proceeded towards the van. Where she brought out a large vacuum-like device and rolled it to the middle of the room.
"What do you propose to do with that?" murmured a dancing girl, "just wait and see, madam" Card Counter replied. With that said, she drew out the house and pressed a series of buttons. After that, the hose began sucking in the green and brown stench cloud around them; until nothing but clean air remained.
After that, Card Counter pressed another button on her machine and a pink mist suddenly spewed out of the hose. At first, everyone feared for another stench spree. But their fears quickly faded, as the sweet scent of roses and honey filled each of their sinuses.
"It would seem that my Sour-to-Sweet Air Purifier device is a success" Card Counter said proudly. "This is all nice and everything" murmured Miss Dimartino, "but what about the damages to my establishment?" With a confident smile and a crack of her knuckles, Royal Flush took a running pose and then…she zipped all about the room.
In what seemed like a flash; she had, miraculously, cleaned and repaired all damages made to the room. The casino staff stared in shock and awe of what they had witnessed. "I…an…and you…I" stammered, "you think all this is impressive, see me when I'm off duty and then we'll talk" quipped Royal Flush boastfully.
But while everyone reveled in the young lady's skills; Loan Shark had, after moments of unconsciousness, finally awoken and proceeded to sneak away. But as he reached the door, he was sent flying backwards by a giant banana cream pie; which was fired out of a massive Jack in the Box. The pie sent the mobster flying onto the dance floor, buried under a mound of cream and batter
Ace looked down at the defeated man and then at the box with a smile. "I was wondering when you would show up, Joker" chuckled Ace. As if on cue, the box sprang open and out came a young lady in pigtails dressed as a jester. She bounced about like a mad pogo-stick, until she stopped at the mound of pie leavings and tasted it.
"Mmm! Guess it's true what they say, nothing tastes sweeter than victory. HA-HA-HA! Get it?" she chuckled playfully. Ace and the gang sighed annoyingly at their comrade/sister's jest and proceeded to handcuff Soriano; prepping him for the police to apprehend. Afterwards, Miss DiMartino proceeded to thank Ace and Co. with hugs of gratitude.
"Oh! Thank you, thank you, thank you all so much" she cheered, "I speak for all of us when I say we can't repay you enough for what you've done tonight." While the casino owner continued in her onslaught of thank you's. She failed to notice the dazed and dreamy looks on Ace and Jack's faces.
With the soft murmur of "buh-buh-buh," both the young heroes then proceeded to faint with glee. gasped in alarm, fearing the boys may have been hurt. High Card simply chuckled and assured her everything was fine.
"They always get like this, when someone pretty thanks them" she giggles, picking up the young heroes. Miss DiMartino shared a chuckle of her own and called out one more thank you to the gang, as they boarded their van. "My doors are always open for you all" she assured.
"We appreciate the offer, ma'am…but some of us are too young for places like this" chimed Strong Suit. "I am, however open for the buffet" Royal Flush interjected, "and I hope the dance floor will be open to the queen" Queen of Diamonds stated. giggled and assured everyone that there is something for everyone at The Ace in the Hole.
With that said, the Full House Gang (sans Ace and Jack) said their goodbyes and rode off. Unaware that someone, not far away from them, was watching them with great interest. As the shadowed figure waited for the van to disappear from sight, someone arrived behind him.
"My Lord, what do you wish of us now" murmured the second figure, "assemble the court, summon my brother" answered the supposed "leader." "Twelve days hence, we make ready to take this city and that caitiff churl, Ace Savvy shall not stand in our way."
(AN: Who are these odd figures, what plan do they have for Ace and the Full House Gang…and why do they sound like Ren Faire performers? Tune in next time for the next exciting adventure)
(Second AN: I know Lincoln's Full House Gang fights crime in an Ace Savvy version of Royal Woods. But I thought it'd be fun to add Ronnie Anne's new hometown of Great Lakes City into the story too. Lastly; as another "Easter Egg," Miss DiMartino is a character from the episode Study Muffin; for those unaware)