I roll the sleeves of my jacket down as I wait for my best friend Eli to arrive. Alli -our more exuberant friend- got us to the end-of-summer party, a cheerleader party with beer and seniors and music. After a half hour waiting, it got too cold for my fragile body and I go inside the house to warm up. Alli runs up to me and talks in slurred words. She is then pulled away from me in one slick motion. I look down and notice she somehow slipped her beer into my hand. Eh, why not?
I taste the beer. Another beer and one more. I've got this weird feeling. A tingling sensation in my stomach. My head feels lightweight. I feel happy. So happy and calm. I walk onto the back porch, trip over people making out, then make my way to a tall tree in the back yard. There I sit in cold darkness. It's peaceful. I think about Eli. I take out my phone and struggle to read the new text message. It's from Eli.
"I'm going to be late," It reads. "don't wait up, go have fun. I'll be there shortly."
As I close my phone I feel a presence, then the bright moon is blocked. I look up and see the most popular guy in school, Asher.
"Where did you come from? You're too beautiful to hide in the dark. Come dance with me."
He holds out his hand.
'Certainly you've got the wrong girl, I'm a nobody' I think to myself. Then Eli's words ring in my buzzed brain.
"Go have fun." Eh, why not?
He hoists me up and pulls me to the front of the house where the DJ is located. The DJ puts on a slow, soft song. Asher takes my hand and pulls me close to him. I breathe in cologne and beer as I lay my head on his chest.
As we dance his hand slides down to my butt. I thought that was a little rude, but my tongue was thick with beer and I couldn't figure out how to tell him to slow down. When the song ends, he whispers in my ear,
"Come on, let's go back to your tree."
He leads me to the back yard and we sit together by the tree. He holds me against him. I feels nice. I feel safe.
He leans down with his lips puckered and eyes closed. I awkwardly do the same. When our lips meet it gets less awkward. It's like upon instinct I know what to do, where to put my hands, how to move my head. He takes my jacket off then tries to pull my shirt up but I don't lift my arms. We keep kissing.
"Do you want to?" He pulls away just enough to ask. Then we keep kissing. He moves his lips to my neck and that's when I have a chance to say "No."
He pins me to the tree, then slides us both to the ground. He's on top of me now, kissing down my body. He manages to get my shirt off. I was too petrified to speak. In my head my voice is as clear as a bell: "No I don't want to!"
He proceeds to get my pants off. I scream but he covers my mouth. I struggle but he holds me down. I'm too weak. I try to hold my legs closed but he pries them open. My underwear are gone. Why is this happening? He smells like beer and mean. He hurts me hurts me hurts me and gets up and zips his jeans and smiles. Rachel smiles and as he walks up the stairs into the house. She can't see me. I pull on my clothes then hold my jacket to my chest as I cry. I cry and I cry. Then I pick my phone up from the ground. I'm scared. I shakily dial 911. Someone answers.
"911 what's your emergency?" Tears ooze down my face, over my bruised lips, pooling on the screen of the phone. I still can't speak.
"It's okay." Said the nice lady on the phone. "We have your location. Officers are on the way. Are you hurt?"
I'm shaking so violently, the phone drops. I hear sirens then everyone running. I hear someone running toward me. I scream and close my eyes, clinching my body in fear it was going to happen again.
"Sh, it's me it's Eli. Come here." He sits down beside me and picks me up onto his lap. He wraps his arms around me and rocks my back and forth. This feels right.
"What happened?" He asks. I don't answer. "Clare... what happened?" I'm silent. I bury my face in his chest and cry. I'm sure he could tell it was something bad, something that hurt me.
"I'm so sorry I wasn't here. I swear I'm never going to let anything happen to you ever again. I'm in love with you Clare. Nothing's ever going to hurt you again as long as I'm alive."
I don't know how to react to that. I'm not mad though. I'm not upset. I love him too. I just had no energy or rational sense to respond. Instead he kisses my forehead and I cuddle into him.
Police and paramedics whiz past us as we sit in slow motion. They ask us questions but we don't say anything. And for a split second I feel safe, really safe. I feel like everything is going to be alright.