I had to do it. It was absolutely impossible to resist.

I don't own AzumangaDaioh or ElfQuest.

"Have you ever read that American comic book?"

Kagura looked up at Osaka's dreamy face, startled. "Which one?" she asked blankly. "There's loads of them."

"The one with the elves," the girl intoned. "It's called Elf...something. Or was it midgets?"

"Elves?" Tomo asked, spinning from her conversation with Yomi to rest an elbow on poor Kagura's head. "Do you mean ElfQuest?"

"That's it! Thank you Tomo-chan," Osaka said, a smile spreading across her face. "I read some of it the other night, and I got to thinkin' bout how we'd turn out if we were elves."

Kagura, who had read it indeed, blinked at her slower friend. For once, she was curious about her friend's ranmbling thoughts. "And what was your conclusions about what we'd be like as elves?" she asked, raising an eyebrow at her fellow bonkura.

"Well you know them High Ones?" At the confirming nods from Tomo, Kagura, Yomi, and Sakaki, the latter two who had drifted closer to listen. "That's what Sakaki-chan would be. She'd be like that Timmorn lady, all long hair an' turning into wolves and bunnies and stuff..."

"Timmain, you mean," Yomi said.

Sakaki was now lost to the conversation, a heavy blush and slight tremor riding her frame.

"What are you guys talking about?" Kaorin asked, bouncing over. "S-Sakaki-san? Are you ok?" (She was visiting from her class for lunch, having esc- evaded Kimura-sensei).

The tall girl didn't notice, but Yomi filled her in on Osaka's thoughts while Tomo poked the suddenly asleep girl.

Once Osaka had been re-awakened, Tomo pounced. "So what about the rest of us in ElfQuest?"

Osaka stared at Tomo, then turned to look at Yomi. "Weeeellll," she said, drawing the word out, "Tomo-chan, you'd be a Go-Back. Me, and Kagura-chan, we'd be Wolfriders." She smiled with enough insanity that even Tomo cringed a little. "And Yomi-chan would be a Glider."

"What about me?" Kaorin asked.

"You'd be one of the SunFolk," Osaka said sagely. "And Kimura-sensei, Yukari-sensei, and Nyamo-sensei would be Wolfriders as well. Nyamo-sensei and Yukari-sensei'd be lifemates of course." She smiled dreamily, ignoring the stares of her friends.

"What about me?" little Chiyo-chan asked, bouncing up from where she'd been listening, unnoticed to the conversation.

Osaka considered, deliberated, and debated with herself for almost a minute, then turned to her waiting audience.

"Chiyo-chan is obviously Kimura-sensei and Kaorin-chan's child by Recognition."

Sometime later, Osaka became aware of all the girls still staring at her, wide-mouthed, looked up, innocence incarnate. "It makes sense."

I'm really sorry, honest. The last bit came first, and everything fell into place from there. Yay me?