Title: Pig-a-Polt
Author: Victoria (ihatebrumby@hotmail.com) Rating/Class: PG (mild abuse of common language), Humor Disclaimer: JAG isn't mine. Never will be. I promise to return the characters in more or less the same condition in which I found them. Summery: The pneumatic beanie-baby launching mechanism
Authors note: this is the first time I've posted on FanFiction.net, although, I've posted elsewhere. I thought I would start out with something short and silly.this came out of a lunch conversation while we were being dive-bombed and shat at by seagulls, and it only got worse in calc. Please read and respond.
Completed: September 10, 2002
Pig-a-polt
Right now, Harm thought, if pigs could fly they would. He looked out the window; it was snowing in the middle of August. Suddenly he saw pink and then crashing glass and then darkness.
Mercy Hospital. Washington DC Three hours later
"Urgh" was Hams first utterance as he regained conciseness. "Your up, huh" Mac smiled at him and shrugged his shoulder. "What the hell?" he grunted and felt his forehead.
There was a long, indented bump. It was as wide as his forehead was tall in both directions, square in the center.
"The pig-a-polt slipped" Mac explained
"The pig-a-what?" "Pig-a-polt. It was for a case I'm defending. Lt Crane was accused of murder, but he said it was an experiment that misfired and porky here is the actual killer." Mac tossed a pink beanie-bag pig at him. "I believe him, I only ran five tests before it misfired. I believe the prosecution will find him innocent of any intent, but I still think he was careless testing it in an enclosed space."
"Covering each other's back?" "Huh?" "The guilty defending the guilty. Damn this thing could have killed me!" He was laughing but in pain. He grabbed his stomach only to fin another bruised welt. "What the." "That was from Cud the Cow" "You fired two of them little shits at me?" "I told you the thing misfired. At least you were unconscious by the time Pe`pe came through." "And he would be?" "The skunk" "Should've known." "He landed behind you, dented your filing cabinet" Harm rolled his eyes. "Where am I?" "Mercy. The Admiral told me about the same time I got to your office to see if you were okay. I thought I killed you." she burst into laughter. "What" "You should see your head" "I know it hurts." "No you should really see your head" She handed him a compact mirror.
"Oh God!" There in the center of his newfound welt were two eyes and a nose print courtesy of porky the pig.
He fell unconscious.
~Finis~
Author: Victoria (ihatebrumby@hotmail.com) Rating/Class: PG (mild abuse of common language), Humor Disclaimer: JAG isn't mine. Never will be. I promise to return the characters in more or less the same condition in which I found them. Summery: The pneumatic beanie-baby launching mechanism
Authors note: this is the first time I've posted on FanFiction.net, although, I've posted elsewhere. I thought I would start out with something short and silly.this came out of a lunch conversation while we were being dive-bombed and shat at by seagulls, and it only got worse in calc. Please read and respond.
Completed: September 10, 2002
Pig-a-polt
Right now, Harm thought, if pigs could fly they would. He looked out the window; it was snowing in the middle of August. Suddenly he saw pink and then crashing glass and then darkness.
Mercy Hospital. Washington DC Three hours later
"Urgh" was Hams first utterance as he regained conciseness. "Your up, huh" Mac smiled at him and shrugged his shoulder. "What the hell?" he grunted and felt his forehead.
There was a long, indented bump. It was as wide as his forehead was tall in both directions, square in the center.
"The pig-a-polt slipped" Mac explained
"The pig-a-what?" "Pig-a-polt. It was for a case I'm defending. Lt Crane was accused of murder, but he said it was an experiment that misfired and porky here is the actual killer." Mac tossed a pink beanie-bag pig at him. "I believe him, I only ran five tests before it misfired. I believe the prosecution will find him innocent of any intent, but I still think he was careless testing it in an enclosed space."
"Covering each other's back?" "Huh?" "The guilty defending the guilty. Damn this thing could have killed me!" He was laughing but in pain. He grabbed his stomach only to fin another bruised welt. "What the." "That was from Cud the Cow" "You fired two of them little shits at me?" "I told you the thing misfired. At least you were unconscious by the time Pe`pe came through." "And he would be?" "The skunk" "Should've known." "He landed behind you, dented your filing cabinet" Harm rolled his eyes. "Where am I?" "Mercy. The Admiral told me about the same time I got to your office to see if you were okay. I thought I killed you." she burst into laughter. "What" "You should see your head" "I know it hurts." "No you should really see your head" She handed him a compact mirror.
"Oh God!" There in the center of his newfound welt were two eyes and a nose print courtesy of porky the pig.
He fell unconscious.
~Finis~