THE REAL STORY OF HUMPTY DUMPTY

An old man was sitting in his commode eating hardboiled eggs whole.
"Here I sit, broken-hearted, trying to shit, but oh god, oh god OH GOD!" he screamed. He then cramped out an entire hardboiled egg. "Whoa! I'm keeping this! HEY HONEY! LOOK AT WHAT I DUMPTIED!" he screamed. His wife saw it and was so proud of him, she let him fuck her with his dick. They got so wild with their sex that the headboard kept banging the wall, causing the egg to fall off, but it was unnoticed because of the orgasms of the woman.
When they were done, they lay beside each other.
"I'm going to call that egg Humpty Dumpty, cause he came from a dump, and got me a hump," he smiled. "Where'd I put Humpty Dumpty?" he asked. He then looked down. "OH MY GOD! HUMPTY DUMPTY FELL OF THE TABLE WHEN WE WERE HUMPING! WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?"
"You can't do anything, hun, so get the hell back on before I get my whip," his wife said sternly. "Hmm...okay," he replied. The two got back to their dirty work, leaving the egg to lay broken on the floor, still covered in fecal matter.