His feet whispered through the grass as he walked, it was browning in the late summer heat. But he paid it no mind as he reached where he was going. He slowly sat down curling his feet under himself.
"Hey, its me..."
Sighing softly he wrapped his arms around himself, The wind whistled gently through the tree's, rustling the leaves and sending a small shiver down his spine. Closing his eyes he allowed the chill to shudder through him, Then slowly painfully he reopened them.
"It's been a while since we last talked, huh?"
He fought the lump in his throat and looked down at the ground his fingers tickling the grass lightly. He chuckled softly and looked up at the sky, heavy clouds were building in the distance fitting for the mood he was in. He didn't care though, The rain hadn't stopped falling for a long time.
"I miss you," He said this softly uncertainly.
The wind moved around him again he could feel the cold chill of the storm building with in it.
"Its going to be a good storm, you remember how we used to sit together on the porch and watch them roll in over the city?" He asked plucking a blade of glass. He twirled it lightly between his fingers watching it, looking anywhere but at who he was talking to.
"I miss you," The heat in his chest built and he swallowed softly.
"But, I've been spending a lot of time with Randy," He said slowly painfully. "He's willing to deal with my bullshit, my not sleeping, my not eating, my working out to much," He mumbled letting the blade of grass fly free watching as it caught on the gray stone slab.
He closed his eyes the wind pulling at his clothes and hair, the first few drops of rain sprinkling down and soaking him to the skin. "I...we...we have a lot of fun together, we watch movies, go out to eat, hang out at the shows." He swallowed roughly the cold rain mixing with the hot rain on his face.
"I...I feel as if I'm betraying you by moving on, but...he says I'm not. He says you would want me to be happy." He choked on a sob and quickly pulled a cloth from with in his pocket burying his rough sobs into it. He then wiped at his eyes.
"He's been really good for me..." He whispered slowly pulling a small stone from his pocket and nestling it among the erratic array of flowers. "He dosn't like to see me sad," he chuckled. "Just like you John," He paused starring silently at the stone before reaching out and tracing the letters with his fingers.
"I think," He licked his lips. "I think I love him,"
He shuddered with another sob fresh tears falling from his green eyes as he pressed his face suddenly to the grass before him, as if straining to hear a heartbeat, to feel a loving touch. His tears streaking down his face and into the grass.
"..but I can't stop loving you as well..."
And it might be wonderful. But even if I fall in love again,
It might be magical.
It might be everything I've waited for;
A miracle.
With someone new...
It could never be the way,
I loved you...
Finis