Author's Note: So I had this idea and decided to go with it. I hope you all enjoy it.
Summary: Santana has had enough of the whispers, the looks and most of all, the heartbreak. In her grief she turns to the one person who can help. Can things turn around?
Genre: Angst (And a little comedy)
Words: 2,730
Rating: T
Warnings: Language and some angst. (Also some possible spoilers)
Disclaimer: I do not own Glee.
Santana was nervous as she walked through the halls to Britt. This was it, it was all of nothing.
"Hi," she greeted. She felt the butterflies consume her stomach. She felt uncomfortable and nervous.
"Hey," answered Britt as she put her books away.
"Can we talk?"
"But we never do that."
"I know but I wanted to thank you for performing that song with me in Glee Club."
"Yeah."
"Guess it has made me do a lot of thinking." She breathed, gathering up the courage to do this. She felt her heart beat faster in anticipation. "What I realized, is why I am a such a bitch all the time. I am a bitch because I am angry. I am angry, because I have all the feelings," she shifted to make sure no one was listening. The last thing she needed was for this to get out. "Feelings for you. That I am afraid of dealing with, because I am afraid of dealing with the consequences. And Brittany I can't go to an Indigo Girls Concert, I just can't."
"I understand that." Britt's eyes looked understanding and confused. Santana decided to make sure that Britt knew what she was trying to say.
"Do you understand what I am trying to say?"
Britt shook her head, "Not really."
Santana took a deep breath, knowing this was it. "I want to be with you. But I am afraid of the talks and the looks, I mean you know what happened to Kurt at this school."
"But honey, if anyone was ever out to make fun of you, you would either kick their ass or slash them down with your vicious, vicious words."
Santana felt a sob escape. She knew that she could do it, but it wasn't exactly what people would say to her face that concerned her, it was behind her back that worried her, and she had to get the across to Britt. "Yeah I know but, I am so afraid of what people will say behind my back. Still I have to accept the fact...That I love you."
It was all out on the table now. Britt gave her a sympathetic smile. "I love you and I don't want to be with Sam, or Finn, or any of those other guys. I just want you. Please say you love me back. Please." She hated how desperate she sounded, in all honestly she was desperate. She just wanted to hear those words out of Brittany's mouth, she wanted be with Britt, to make up for all those times they didn't talk. To prove to Britt that she truly loved her.
"Course I love you, I do. And I would totally be with you if it wasn't for Artie."
"Artie?"
"I love him too. I don't want to hurt him, that's not right, I don't want to break up with him." Santana felt disgust kick in. Her heart hurt, like it had been trampled on over and over. Stupid boys, it was all their fault.
"Yes you can, he's just a stupid boy."
"That wouldn't be right, Santana you have to know, if Artie and I were to ever break up, and I am lucky enough that you are still single.." Britt reached out to grab Santana's hand, but Santana pulled away.
"Don't touch me."
Santana had enough. It first started when she had been rejected by Brittany. She really wanted to be with Brittany, but Brittany chose Artie. It hurt so much. Her heart hurt. She had cried herself to sleep every single nights after she got rejected. She couldn't be around Brittany, it hurt too much, because she knew that she wasn't the number one in Britt's life.
Then the rumors started to spread because Brittany and Santana weren't joined at the hip. Santana could hear the whispers as she walked down the halls.
I heard that they had a fight.
I heard that Santana sang a song to Brittany.
"Well I heard that Santana confessed her feelings for Brittany and got rejected."
"No way! I thought she was bisexual at the least. I mean she does whore herself around."
I heard that Santana is a lesbian.
What no way!
Yes.
Well that explains a lot.
It was only a matter before another one of them showed up in here. It's not surprising it was from the Glee Club. I mean I knew Kurt was spreading the Gay.
Not long after, Jewfro tried to corner her for an interview.
"So Santana, I heard that you had your heart broken by Brittany. How are you taking it?"
"Out of the way Jewfro."
"I take it that is a yes." She grabbed his shirt and backed him up against a wall.
"Look Jewfro, you either get that camera out of my fucking face or I will dump your camera in the toilet. You got that?"
"Yyyyes..." He ran away quickly down the halls.
She hated the looks that Britt kept giving her. That look of a lost puppy who didn't know what direction to take. Brittany tried to talk to her at the locker a few times, but Santana just ignored her for the most part. The one time that they tried to talk it out did not go over well.
"Hey, can I ask you a question, we used to be close and I really miss being your friend."
"Still waiting for the question."
"Did I do something wrong?"
" Look, I don't know, did you? All I know is that you blew me off to be with Stubbles McCripple Pants. It's fine, you loss, 'cause now I get the chance to write an awesome heterosexual song about Sam that we are going to sing at Regionals."
"Wait, you're still dating Sam? But I thought you said you were in love with me."
"I honestly don't know what I was thinking."
In Glee Club she sat closer to Mercedes and Tina, getting odd looks from the two of them. Santana ignored the looks. She still was dating Sam, but she knew that was on the fringe of being over with. Sam could only handle so much abuse from her. Although, one good thing was that he seemed to ignore the rumors.
She reached her breaking point though when Karofsky slushied her in the hall, when Brittany had one again tried to stop her to talk to her.
It was after Glee Club. She had enough of seeing Brittany and Artie make sappy eyes at each other. Had enough of them kissing. Artie had won. She stormed out after Glee Club.
"Santana, Santana wait." A hand grabbed her arm and swung her around moments later. Santana felt the tears run down her face. She snapped around.
"What?"
"Come on baby, tell me what's wrong."
"Why should I? Clearly it's not important." She saw Karofsky coming at her down the hall. She hated that bastard so much. He was the one who made Kurt transfer. He was the one who made Kurt's life a living hell when he was here. Even though Santana and Kurt did not have a relationship, she still felt somewhat protective of him. She felt guilty for not taking action against the bully, she had honestly not notice how bad it had gotten until it was too late, just like the rest of them.
She saw the cup in his hand out of the corner of her eye. She didn't think anything of it. Until seconds later when the cup was lifted and slushy flew into her face. It felt like frozen needles had hit her dead on. Karofsky grinned, Brittany and everyone else around looked horrified.
"You Asshat. You will fucking pay for that."
"Good luck with that,welcome to the new world order, homo."
She ran. She heard Britt call after her, but she paid no heed to it. It was all over. Everyone knew. And it was too agonizing. She started sobbing, letting all of her emotions run wild. She decided she needed to leave. She ran to her car and got in, started the car and started driving. She didn't care that she had not cleaned the slushy off. She had no idea where she was going, but she knew she just wanted to be far away from here.
She was trying to think of places to go.
Of course. Why hadn't she thought of it before. She quickly got on highway seventy-five heading towards highway seventy to Westerville.
She was going to see Kurt.
A few hours later she was outside Dalton Academy. She parked quickly and walked in. She ignored the stares that she got until finally a taller, blonde haired boy stopped her.
"Excuse me, this is a private academy. You are not allowed on school ground during school hours."
"I need to see Kurt."
"I am sorry Kurt is in study hour."
"Please, let me see Kurt," she repeated curtly.
"I will go get him, just wait right here. Don't move." The boy ran off. Five minutes later he returned with a puzzled Kurt.
"Santana, what are you doing here, what's wrong? And why are you covered in slushy?"
It was like those were the magical words that set her emotions free. Santana let the dam lose again, she started sobbing. She learned into Kurt and hugged him.
"I...ccccan't...tttake...itttt...annnnymooree.." she wailed into Kurt's blazer.
"Okay Santana breathe for a moment, come to your senses and then talk to me."
Kurt hugged Santana and held her close for a bit, whispering soothing words. After Santana felt calm enough, she decided to talk.
"I am in love with Brittany, but Britt loves Artie and won't leave him, and it hurts," she chocked a sob.
"Wait, you are just now realizing you are in love with Britt?" Kurt asked. Santana nodded. Kurt handed her a tissue from the table nearby.
"Hummel, I don't know how you did it, with Finn and Sam. I can't imagine how hard it must have been."
Kurt nodded, rubbing soothing circles on her back. " It wasn't easy but I got through it. Come on let's get you cleaned up okay?"Santana nodded and let Kurt lead her to a private bathroom. Santana could not help but notice how fancy the bathroom looked. Santana grabbed a chair and placed it by the sink. She sat down and leaned her head backwards into the sink. Kurt grabbed a few towels from the shelf and placed them on the sink, placing one underneath's Santana's head.
"Damn Hummel, you hit the mother load." Kurt chuckled. "What can I say, I like big guns with lots of money. Even if it means being in that damn uniform all day."
Santana chuckled as Kurt turned on the facet and began pouring water on her head and gently teasing through her hair. "I am shocked you are still good at this."
"Well some habits never die." Santana nodded, letting a tear fall. "Kurt?"
"Hmm?"
"I am sorry that I didn't protect you, and I am sorry you went through a rough time at school. Getting a dose of it, really made me understand better what you had to go through."
"What do you mean? Besides the slushy."
"The looks, the stares, the whispers as you walk down the halls. It's awful."
"Again you get used to it."
She breathed, trying to gather the courage to say it. "Kurt, I've come to realize that I am a lesbian." He stopped teasing through her hair. "What?"
"I am a lesbian. None of the guys I have been with I have never been attracted to, at least on the level that I am with Brittany. I always felt empty with them. And with Britt, I feel like I found my missing puzzle piece. I want to be with her and no one else. I am in love with her. I want to spend the rest of my life with her, have a family and grow old together. I know this may sound selfish but I want you to come back to McKinley. I can come out, you won't be the only gay kid, we can stick together. People are afraid of me, well for the most part."
Kurt shook his head, "What about Karofsky? I mean that bully sexually harassed me and then threaten to kill me if I told." He put his hand over his mouth.
"Wait, what?" Santana sat up and Kurt turned off the facet.
Kurt shook his head.
"Karofsky sexually harassed you? You mean he's gay?"
Kurt shook his head yes slowly. He took his hand off his mouth. "Please don't tell anyone. He will kill me for sure."
"Oh I don't think that Neanderthal is capable of that." Kurt threw her and exasperated look.
"Okay, fine I won't tell." Then she got an idea. Santana grinned evilly.
"And I don't like that grin, Santana."
"Don't worry Hummel, I won't get you in trouble. But it kinda makes sense now."
"What do you mean?"
"Come off it Hummel, he looked at you as if he had found candy in a drug store. Not to mention he stalked you all the time."
She was now thinking. If Karofsky was also gay, that gave her leverage.
"Okay Hummel, a proposal, come back with me."
"What, no way, I just explained to you why."
"Hummel, just trust me, okay. I have an idea."
"You realize you saying that you have an idea is dangerous, Santana."
"Just trust me."
"No, I can't."
"Please, just think about it?"
"Okay, I will think about it."
The next day, Santana decided to corner Karofsky and do what she does best, revenge. And this time she has a leg up on him.
"Oi Karofsky."
"What do you want homo?"
"Look, I want you to leave the Glee Club members and myself alone, unless you want me to spill your secret."
"You are full of shit Santana." He started to walk off.
"So tell me, what was it like kissing Kurt?"
He rushed back over and pushed her up against the locker. Santana didn't even flinch. Compared to Lauren, this kid would be a piece of cake. He smirked. "You can't prove it."
"I am sure there are ways. And besides, people doubt you as being gay already. I am sure if they heard that you kissed Kurt, they wouldn't doubt it for a second." Karofsky paled and backed up a bit. He knew she had a point.
"So what was it like kissing Kurt?" Karofsky didn't answer right away. He then mumbed, "it was nice. It would have been nicer if he hadn't pushed me away."
"Want to say that again louder, I can't hear you.."
"It was nice." Santana pulled out her recorder. "That will do nicely." Karofsky moved to grab it but Santana was quicker.
"Ah, Ah.. No, No."
"You fucking bitch."
"Yeah, well I have had years of practice. And you can't afford for this to get out can you?"
"What are your terms?"
"You will leave everyone in Glee Club alone, including Kurt if he returns. And you will be my boyfriend."
"What?"
"That's right."
"Why?"
"Because it would be a good cover for the both of us. People won't think I am a lesbian, and no one would doubt you being gay. Got it LoserBrains? Do we have a deal?" She extended out her hand. Karofsky hesitated, it was like he was selling his soul to the devil.
"Deal." He said, shaking her hand.
"Alright, let me go break up with Sam, and we will go out to dinner at Breadsticks around 7. Don't be late. See you later, boyfriend." She walked off, leaving Karofsky to ponder his deal.
Things were looking up.