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The Female Persuasion
Written by : Tybs23 and Jagsrule5
Chapter I
Introduction [Part 1]
You Frenchies just love to hate us! Why don't you go back to making statues of hot green chicks! -America
Disclaimer: We, don't own Hetalia.
"I'll show that lunatic," griped England, grinding his teeth as he stomped around his elaborate abode. "I raised him, nurtured the bastard, and he decides he can treat his elder like rubbish!"
Stupid America. Simply idiotic. England thought. But this was typical behavior, wasn't it? Still, that man-child got on England's last nerve, with his ever-so-cocky attitude. The nation brushed a hand through his hair, planting himself onto the nearby sofa with an exasperated sigh. What was it he had said…? Ah, that was right…
"Are we all clear on the plan? Good!"
The rest of the Allies looked up at their ignoble leader, confusion and, for some, annoyance crossing their faces. The tallest of the nations, Russia, was just taking his seat, but stopped mid-crouch when it seemed like the meeting was already coming to a close. Canada raised a hand, but was quickly ignored.
"We didn't even discuss anything," England barked, struggling to contain his temper at least until something was resolved. The rest of the countries only nodded in agreement.
"Hmfah smfrgh?" America blinked, hastily swallowing the remains of his third cheeseburger. "Hm? Oh, you don't have to worry about that! Everything was working great last time!"
"But as I recall," piped China, "We had surrendered to the Axis at our last ambush, did we not?"
"Wi," France confirmed, shaking his head sorrowfully as he recalled that night, "Our team was no match for ze magnificent power of ze Axis …"
The group was silent for a minute, all remembering that night clearly, but none having the slightest clue of how to remedy such a disadvantage.
Canada, sitting in the corner, thought for a brief moment before muttering, "Maybe if we-"
"I GOT IT!" cried America, a finger pointed upward, his face smug, "It was totally England's position that was the problem!" He nodded to himself, as if this made all the sense in the world, craning his neck to look pointedly at England, "So this time, try not to screw things up for us, kay?"
Everyone turned to face the enraged older nation, whose pallor was slowly turning a bright blue as he grappled with his peaking annoyance. France, who was sitting beside his rival state, had the common sense to back up a few feet before the volcano of anger erupted…
It just wasn't fair. England was perfectly in position, down to the square meter! It was clearly America that was the problem in all of this; why else would none of their plans ever work? It was evident to him that it was high time his ideas were known…
Maybe if he used some of his special talents… Something none of the other nations could provide…
England clenched his fists, simply stumped as to what he could possibly offer. He was the most normal nation on the planet; as far as he knew!
The pirate was so perplexed by his dilemma that he failed to notice a small, flying creature sneak up from behind the cushion. The bunny sprung, giggling and flapping its wings as it watched England shoot out of his seat.
He looked up from his crumpled pile on the ground, a look of bewilderment crossing his face before being replaced by faint annoyance. Rising to his feet, he sighed, "Not now, Mint Bunny. I'm too depressed to play…"
England shook his head and wiped a few specks of dirt from his uniform, not bothering to watch after the dejected creature as it bobbled away. Instead, he returned his thoughts to the current situation.
After a moment of deep thinking the nation groaned, slumping his head into his hands. No, there was nothing even remotely strange or unusual about him that he could think of!
But perhaps… could he perhaps use his… dark magic? The skills that had been passed down, ancient techniques that only the most learned nation could master…?
England snapped his fingers together in realization, his face lighting up, "By George, of course! That idiot will never see it coming! And it will teach the wanker to mouth off to me." He chattered excitedly, already getting up to bolt toward the book of spells kept hidden beneath his cookbooks.
Even if they were on the same side, it was about time that imbecile would pay…
Robe in place, book in hand, England could hardly wait to begin reciting the all-too-familiar chant from deep within his basement. The spell was simply a silence charm, meant to keep the man's mouth shut for a few weeks. But England could hardly contain himself when he began imagining all of the peace and quiet… America … silent …
"This may be … what heaven looks like …" he muttered dreamily, his eyes spacing for a moment.
The nation soon snapped out of it, also noting the fact that, without the blabbermouth in charge, he would be able to incorporate some of the naval strategies he had been working on.
Needing no further motivation, England took a moment to clear his throat before speaking to the chalk drawing in front of him.
"Santo Rita Meata Mater Ringo Jonah Tito Marlon Jack La Toya Janet Michael Dumbledora the Explorer…"
It was working; the circle had begun to glow a faint pink, the mouth of the portal cracking open slightly. He couldn't yet see inside, but England knew that the spell was in effect.
"Santo Rita Meata Mater Ringo Jonah Tito Marlon Jack La Toya Janet Michael Dumbledora the Explorer…!"
A hand reached out from the depths of the chasm, making England flinch back a bit. But he continued on, anyway, not wanting all of his efforts to be wasted here.
"Santo Rita Meata Mater Ringo Jonah Tito Marlon Jack La Toya Janet Michael Dumble…dora the… Explorer…"
The startled spell-caster trailed off, his eyes trained on the glowing form rising from the abyss that he had created. A hand, and then another; soon the tip of a head could be seen popping out from the illuminated hole.
For a brief moment, he worried that it could be Russia again, here to foil another of his schemes with his untimely visits. But those thoughts were immediately quashed when he saw that it was indeed a female body.
Female? As in, a girl? That was strange… There certainly weren't many countries that took on a woman's form… But perhaps, pondered England, still gazing up at the floating being, it wasn't actually a country at all …
"What in the-"
It was … just a girl. Two girls, to be precise. They were normal girls, save for the fact that they were floating above the rift, with nothing to elevate them whatsoever. The one in front looked a bit frail, like she had spent much too long on the computer, and her eyes were bloodshot from lack of sleep. Only dressed in a tank and sweats, socks adorning her feet; a laptop under her arm and an opened box of pocky in the other. The one behind her was dressed similarly, but seemed to be busy typing at her respective computer.
The entity in front gave a weary yawn, before noting his presence and waving nonchalantly. "Not enough," was her simple response.
England stared, baffled by the cryptic answer. "Eh… Pardon…?"
"Not enough." She clarified, "Not enough girls, you were saying?"
She raised an eyebrow, starting to remind England of a certain annoying brother of his. Although he couldn't quite pin it down as to why …
"And just who the hell are you?" England the bewildered nation stuttered, still not quite sure if he could call his spell was a success.
The teen pondered this for a moment, before replying, "You can call me Tybs, I guess." Then she turned back to her companion, jabbing a thumb in her direction, "And that's Jags."
England nodded slowly, "And… why are you here?"
This she was happy to answer, her eyes brightening with excitement, "Oh! We're here because there aren't enough girls. Women nations, I mean… Plus, we just like to mess with you."
The puzzled old country frowned at the last bit, his eyebrows creasing as he went deep into thought. That wasn't what he had meant by his question. He had meant to ask 'Why did you appear, and not my spell.' But misinterpreting seemed to happen more often than not around here …
Out of sheer curiosity, England took a glance up at the smiling young girl. "What do you mean by, 'aren't enough girls'? There are plenty of female countries! And on top of that, the predominant male atmosphere makes for a high level of hinted yaoi, which is a popular genre for girls in your estimated age group." He reasoned, completely ignoring the fact that he had absolutely obliterated the scattered remains of what fourth wall there was left.
The girl in the back perked up at the mention of the statistics, questioning hopefully, "Hm? Did someone say yaoi…?" But Tybs could only shake her head, looking at the country as one would a silly child. "There are a few… but not enough! And besides, haven't you ever wondered how all of the countries would react to becoming the opposite gender…?" Her eyes sparkled, her look malevolent. "Think about America's reaction! You'll finally be able to get him back… Isn't that what you wanted?"
England's face fluctuated between horrified and dazed, the hefty book of spells nearly slipping from his grasp when he had finally comprehended the meaning behind her words. The warning signs … they were all there …
Laptop beneath her arm … insane, unnatural plot points …
"You- You're a-"
Tired eyes … casual clothing … pocky …
His stare met hers, and England felt like he wanted to melt and run for his life at the same time.
"F-f-f-fan fiction … author …"
What had he done…?
England paced back and forth, panicking.
I screwed up. He admitted to himself, as he looked over to the two girls. For now, they were just talking, giggling every so often, and typing.
Their faces lit up from the computer. The bloodshot eyes protruding from their pale faces.
England's eye twitched. They wanted all the male countries, to be female!
This wouldn't of been bad for him; seeing everyone terrified of their own bodies and practically everyone out of their mind. But, he was male too. His country and him in general, was in total danger.
He slowly approached the girls.
They are fiction writers. He could tell, they didn't jump into action. From what he could see, they were planning.
Isn't that what writers do?
Both girls looked from their laptops at England. They stared at him, their laughing ceasing, their smiles dropped.
"What's up?"The girl raised her chin up in acknowledgment.
What was this girl's name? Tybs? Yea that's it.
England scratched the back of neck.
"Um ... you guys look tired. Maybe you should get some rest."
"Can't do, Brit." He clenched his teeth at the nickname. "Gotta get this planned out now. Pocky?" She offered. He shook his head.
"Oh, give me some."
Jags, was it?
Tybs gave her the pocky, to take a few, and got up from her seat.
England took a few steps back.
Was she done planning? Was it the end of all male countries?
"Relax." She pressed, and looked at the wall in a thinking manner. Her hand stroking her chin.
"I need a map of the world. Got one of those?" She looked back at England, who shook his head.
She snickered. "Why so uptight?"
"Uh."
Don't get them angry. England thought.
"So, I need a map, pronto. In fact, two maps. No colors, labeled. A blue marker, and a pink one too."
England silently chuckled, thinking, it isn't going to pop out of thin air.
- which it did.
England stared in sheer amazement. They hovered over her head, and dropped at her feet.
A map of the world with the countries outlined and their names, two Sharpie markers were just there on the floor.
"There we go." Tybs smiled and picked up everything, heading back over to Jags.
"How? How did you just -"
"Simple. I am a writer. And when you are the writer, you have the power. Right, Jags?"
Jags looked over to her, smiling and nodding her head, her mouth full of the chocolate treat. She had managed to scarf down every last crumb of the pocky, in which she discarded.
Tybs didn't see to mind. She unrolled the map in front of the two, and pointed to a few, mumbling something England couldn't hear.
Tybs drew some countries blue.
With the blue sharpie she scribbled the word 'NOW' on top.
"What about ancient empires and such?" Jags asked.
"I didn't think about them." Tybs admitted, biting her lip.
"Here." Jags said, holding out her hands, in which two rolled pieces of paper fell into it.
They both unrolled them to reveal the world in ancient times, and began to color in.
This was making England sick.
He had to stop them. Should he warn the others?
No, they woudn't fight as a world, they would fight amongst themselves. England thought.
He had to do something, as they began to take the other map, and right 'SOON' on top in pink.
England's eyes widened as they colored every country pink. He watched in terror as the whole UK was shaded with hot pink.
What do I do, what do I do? He repeatedly asked himself. Pretty soon they'll summon enough girls to conquer the world.
They're writers, so they aren't going to stop till the good part is over. Bloody hell! I'm running out of time. He thought, looking at the two girls. They were giggling, drawing in the maps, and doodling on the side. England looked at the doodles, seeing they were countries he knew, just swapped genders.
He cringed.
"So Jags, which country do you want?"
"Not sure. What about you?"
"Give me the ancient map."
Jags obliged, and handed her the old map.
The girl smiled, summoning a black sharpie and scribbled her name over a country in which England believed was Prussia.
The two girls ignored his horrified expression, put their heads together, and laughed.
The - shows that Jags wrote everything above it, and I wrote everything after that. Just an author swap is all.
Alright!
The first part of the introduction is up. The next will be the second part, and after that is when me, and my co-writer, Jagsrule5 need your self-inserts.
^^ Yes! Sup, guys? I'm Jags, and I'll write in bold from now on, so it's easier to understand the dialogue between us. Just so you know, bold = Jags.
Much like Jags and I, you will be able to live your fantasy, and be able to practically take over your own male Hetalia country and be able to physically change them into a girl. Keyword - physically. Their personalities won't change.
Note: This is a first come, first serve rule. If someone already took the country you wanted, you're just going to have to pick another.
In the next chapter, we will include a checklist of all the available characters.
And obviously Prussia is already taken by me.
I called America ;)
Anyway, I would just need you to fill out the following and send it to me or Jags, via private message or review.
Nickname: [Note: Use a nickname from your user-name. Example: Jags = Jagsrule5]
Country: The country you want.
Personality: Just a few words or sentences describing yourself.
Appearance: Please, just a few adjectives.
Scenario: What do you want you and your country's predicament to be? Something comical.
Other: Anything you want to say that didn't apply to any of the subjects above. Dialogue, moods, etc.
Thanks for reading! Tybs23 and Jagsrule5, signing out!