Just a little nonsense that came to me, when I was rewatching episode 3x11.
"So, where do you want me to sleep, then?"
The silence was quite long and said everything. It wasn't necessary to explain its meaning to him, but Much did it anyway: "Tied to a tree could be sufficient. But hang on one would be better."
Guy just gave him contemptuous look and didn't say anything.
"Well, I think no-one is in the privy at night, so…" Allan was obviously trying to give it a lighter tone, but Guy was ignoring his we-are-both-traitors-for-them,-we-have-to-stuck-togetherlook. No, Allan, you are nothing like me. You are a part of the gang, I have to bear you, but that's everything. Don't expect any cronyism, you traitorous little scum.
More silence. They were all frowning and Kate looked like she was trying to put whole camp on fire with her look.
"Hmm, I think," Robin started. "Hmm, maybe…"
"Surely, we will find some place," Tuck helped him. "Ah, this could go. What do you think, Robin? One or two planks and we have another bed."
"Fine. John, you can do it, can't you? Gisborne, come with me, I will show you all camp."
***
When he died, he would go to the heaven, surely. Or at least the hell would look like heaven to him after this night. He was certain about that, when he woke up. Or when he decided to stand up, because he hadn't been sleeping almost all night. He looked at them. They were all sleeping so contentedly and he envied them. Kate was frowning even in her sleep. Is she thinking about me, or is this her usual look? Robin was whistling by his nose. This was really annoying – after few hours Guy wanted to kill him more, than he had ever wanted in the past. And John… Why the hell they let him sleep with his staff? Guy jumped back as John was obviously fighting some formidable enemy in his sleep.
"Where do you think you are going?" Much was eyeing suspiciously his every move.
"Well, people usually have some needs when they wake up. But if you want me to do it here…"
"Go then, but be back soon."
Great. Not only that he had to obey Robin but a servant? He took his time, before coming back. They were still sleeping, only Much was carefully moving some pots in the kitchen.
"We don't have enough food," he frowned at Guy like it was his fault. "Have to catch something. You come with me."
Guy obeyed him without a word, but it didn't mean he intended to fulfill every command Much would give him. In fact, he was planning quite the opposite. He just needed right opportunity. Guy smiled to himself secretly.
***
"I knew, we shouldn't have trusted him," Little John snarled as soon as he opened his eyes. "He's gone and probably leading guards to this place right now."
"John," Robin sighted. "He just probably need a moment alone. To be honest, after my first night spent next to you, I needed more than just one moment," he added with a conniving smile.
"And he killed Much! He is gone too!" Kate screamed. "Take your weapons and let's go to find him."
"Kate, please, be reasonable." Robin looked on Tuck, pleading for help.
"John, Kate. Robin is right. Trust is the most powerful…"
"Hey, Robin. Much is there," Allan called. He was the only one who got the idea to look around the camp first before discussing, if Guy had killed Much. And so he was the only one who found him. "He is there, behind that tree."
"Much?" Robin asked. "Much, why are you hiding?"
They knew why in the moment he made a step closer to them. He was all wet and smelt like a…
"What is it, Much? You were swimming in a cesspool?"
"It's not funny, Allan, you know. I was trying to bring some food for all of us. I took him with me, because I was afraid to leave him here, for you all were sleeping. And he tricked me! He told me there was a deer and when I turned, he jogged me and I fell to a stinking, rotting…"
"You don't have to continue, Much, we all get it," Robin interrupted him. "Alright then. We can't rely on Gisborne's hunting skills, ants are worse food than squirrels, and I really don't think he will catch something bigger. So this is what we will do. Kate, you will stay here with Much and help him to wash and unsmell and… Right?" Robin sighted. Right. Let's keep Kate in the camp. Her meeting with Gisborne in the forest would make no good. "Now. One of you will bring some wood. Allan, fine. The rest of us will split and try to catch something. Good luck to everyone."
***
There was a reason, why he had been working for the Sheriff. He was good in killing people. He wasn't good in killing some hairy, fast running things, neither he was good in searching these things in the forest. But his pride didn't allow him to come back with nothing.
Two Sheriff's guards with a cart full of sacks of grain were a gift from heaven. Then he realized why they had stopped. There was a dead deer and they were looking and laughing on something on the tree. A poacher, great. So, let's do it. I will steal the grain and save that idiot like good Hood's outlaw, so the Sheriff in hell can be dying from laughter how low did I sink.
When the arrow hit the tree behind them, guards looked at it and said unison: "Robin Hood!" In the next moment they were running away. But they stopped after few meters.
"Robin Hood is not that rubbish shot," said one of them. "It is probably that poacher's friend. Let's hang him too."
Unfortunately for them, he wasn't rubbish with sword. You should have run, when you had a chance. I was in very kind mood, he thought when he looked at their dead bodies. Then he looked up to the tree. They had hanged the poacher there and he was already dead. Only thing that could have be done for him was a proper burial.
Guy was looking at three corpses before him. He would spend half a day by burying them. On the other hand, if he left them here, Robin would probably make him come back and bury them anyway. Without the breakfast, naturally, as a part of the make- a-honest-outlaw-from-a-disgusting-killer course. Fortunately right in that moment he saw a villager with a cow coming to him. He was probably on his way to the Nottingham market.
"Hey, you!" Guy pointed his still bloody sword on the man. "Under that tree there are two guards I've just killed and on the tree is a hangman. If you don't want to hang beside him…" go and see they are all buried properly. Guy didn't finished the sentence, because the man run away, leaving a cow behind him. Probably was hurrying for a shovel, Guy tried convince himself to justify why he left the bodies unburied. He loaded a deer on the cart and took the reins. After few steps he looked back. The cow was following him. But I didn't steal it, he left it voluntarily. Surely.
***
"Tuck! Tuck! Did you catch something?" Much welcomed the monk.
But Tuck shook his head. "I am sorry, but I have brought these herbs, they could be very useful, if anyone is ever injured."
"Can they be useful if someone is starving?" Much replied but then he saw Little John coming and turned hopefully to him.
But John didn't catch anything neither. "But I harvested full coat of strawberries and raspberries," he said apologetically.
"And where do you have it?"
"There were frightened kids running through the forest. As I understood, some knave had robbed them of a basket full of strawberries, so I…"
Much howled desperately. They were all waiting for Robin now.
"Robin, Robin, I knew you would save us! You are hero!" Much cried when he saw Robin coming to them, carrying a deer and leading a cow.
"Thanks, but I have only met Gisborne and helped him with his catch." Robin pointed behind the cow, where Guy was standing. "Although I am afraid we will have to give some of it back to its rightful owners with great apology. John, what are you doing?!"
John threw himself forwards to Guy, waving angrily his staff. "You nasty loathsome thief!"
"John, he is one of us!"
"No, he's not. We do not steal from poor. And we DO NOT," John pointed to a basket of strawberries Guy was holding, "STEAL FROM CHILDREN!"
"I wasn't stealing from them," Guy was defending himself. "I just wanted to ask them for advice. I was lost and… I wanted to give it back to them, but they were running too fast." But no-one seemed to believe him. They were just eyeing him suspiciously. "I was smiling at them all the time," he added at the end, half desperately.
"Really? And the you-shall-hang-tomorrow smile, or the time-to-pay-taxes smile?"
Guy ignored Allan's attempted joke, but Robin smiled. "Right. Time to move on. Much, take care of that deer, Kate, you milk the cow. John, Tuck. There is a cart full of grain. We will keep one sack and the rest we will give to the people. But for now take it to a store."
***
Guy was eating his meal, ignoring Allan who was sitting beside him and Kate, who was sitting right against him, ostentatiously sharping her sword with a murderous look on her face.
"Kate, leave him be," Allan said suddenly. "He killed my brother too, and I forgave him."
"What?" They both looked at him honestly surprised.
"He killed your brother?" Kate repeated.
"Well, not really. The Sheriff had my brother hanged for a robbery, but Guy was Sheriff's right-hand man then, so it is almost like he killed him. But it's not the point. You know, I think you are just afraid of him."
"I'm not afraid of anything and certainly not of him." Kate continued sharping her sword.
"I think you are. He fell in love with Robin's former girl and then he killed her. Now you are Robin's girlfriend and so you are afraid…"
"She doesn't need to worry, Allan," Guy said, not raising eyes from his food. "In her case I will gladly skip the falling in love part."
In the next moment Kate was running away with furious look, cursing both of them. Guy looked at Allan and smiled a little bit. Maybe I should forgive him. That little bastard can be really funny sometimes.
"So, can I call you Gizzy again?"
Have anyone any idea, what Guy answered? I honestly have not, so I must end the story here. I hope you enjoyed it, if not, then I hope it wasn't too long. :-)