Meeting With the Ficwriter "J"
By: botoxforever
Disclaimer/Warning: I definitely do not own Gundam Wing, Big O, Dragon Ball
Z, MTV, Sailor Moon, Celebrity Death Match, Ranma, American Idol, FRIENDS,
or the WF (wrestling federation), I was only 13 years old.
so this is immature. I'm sorry for parodying everyone.
Meeting With the Fic Writer
Relena: What the fuck is up with me always yelling Heeeerrrrooo?!
Quatre: *snicker* Relena [in a sing song voice] you're a Peacecraft. You aren't supposed to swear.
Relena: You shut the hell up. Quatre, even you aren't playing your Role.
Fic writer J: Relena!
Duo: What?! Can everyone please be quiet? I wanna talk.
Quatre: No surprise there.
Fic writer J: Quatre!
Quatre: Fic writer!
Wufei: WOMAN!
Duo: I just want to ask if I can ditch the clip on ponytail in the next flick?
Wufei: Only girls wear clip-ons.
Duo: Oh yeah wig head?
Wufei: Wighead?
Hilde: Duo! Wufei! Stop! Don't fight here!
Relena: Oh yeah! A fight!
Quatre: Fic writer, can I dye my hair blue?
Zechs: Hey, if he gets to do that, I want to stop bleaching.
Treize: Where's Lady Une?
Sally: She's in a padded cell, something about split personalities.
Fic writer J: Gomez! Catherine!
Gomez: Yes?
Fic writer J: (to Noin) Why are Gomez and Uncle Fester (from The Addams Family here?
Noin: It's a free colony.
Fic writer J: No! I mean this is a Gundam Wing meeting for sobbing in your mobile suit! Not a flipping Addams Family Reunion!
Noin: Oh. I get what you mean.
Catherine: I didn't think you'd mind.
Trowa: Catherine was watching Gomez and Fester throw knives.
Catherine: And I was sure Trowa and I could kick their butts in a match. So I called them *turns and throws a knife over her shoulder* out.
Fic writer J: You called them out.
Catherine: Yup. You know, I challenged them to a match.
Trowa: Come on! Closer to the head!
Heero: *fires a gun very close to Trowa's head*
Fic writer J: Heero!
Heero: I'll kill you all!
Treize: Ha. Ha. Go ahead and try Wing ZERO boy! You're nothing! ZERO! You can't kill me. I'm supposedly already dead. I didn't even get to be in Endless Waltz.*sobs*
Duo: Ha, Ha! I've got Wufei's wig!
Quatre: Okay. *sniff* Let's send it into the sun-
Treize: Oh please, do not remind me of your crying antics on Endless Waltz.
Wufei: Yeah Quatre, you're making Treize jealous, he wasn't even in Endless Wa-[Duo has shoved Wufei's own wing into his mouth]
Treize: Chemicals in my brain are moving around and re-shifting to stimulate the emotion known as anger. To be put in simplistic terms I am offended at your ongoing-
Quatre: Ahhhh! Lady Une is loose!
Lady Une: Glasses or no?
Treize: My lady. I heard you had an Identity crisis.
Lady Une: That's a load of kuso! (Crap in Japanese)
Treize: Please, regain your composure Lady.
Fic writer J: How did you escape from the asylum?!
Dorothy: I helped her.
Duo: You know. I have a clip-on, Wufei had a wig, Zechs bleaches, and Treize plucks. but Dorothy's eyebrows are real!!!
Treize: They're real?! *faints*
Lady Une: Mister Treize?
Fic writer J: (on the phone) - yes.come now.take Lady Une back to her padded cell. . .okay.
Fic writer "Jess": Who was that?
Fic writer J: *blinks* What are you doing here?
Fic writer "Jess": Who was that?
Fic writer J: Oh! It was Goku. He's doing that little appearing thingy . . . uh . . . instant teleportation to transport Lady Une back to her padded cell.
Fic writer "Jess": *blinks* padded--? As in like-that time of the month . . .?
Fic writer J: That's really sick "Jess." Get your mind out of the gutter.
Fic writer "Jess": I know.
Relena: tightassmotherfuck! Hey! Come on! Kick his ass, you bitchwipe little prude!
[Even Wufei's skin crawls when Relena shows her true personality]
Trowa: SHUT UP!
Relena: You SHUT UP!
"Mars": Both of you shut it!
"Missy": You always say that.
Fic writer "Jess": What kind of fic are you running here? What are those Addams Family dopes doing here?!
Heero: *seeing "Jess" for the first time* Ahhhhhh! Don't let her come near me! My character suffered enough in her last fic. Relena save ME!!!!
"Missy": Disturbing.
Relena: *turning to face "Jess"* Baka Chinga! (Stupid ass in Japanese) You said my dad was alive! (In "Jess's" last fic, she fooled Relena into believing that her father was still alive.
Fic writer "Jess": Oh piss off!
"Mars": (to Duo) Shut it!
Relena: Why don't you-
"Mars": Shut it!
Wufei: Who are you?
"Mars": WOULDN"T YOU LIKE TO KNOW?!
Zechs: E-
"Mars" DOES SHUT IT MEAN ANYTHING TO YOU?!
"Mars": We are here to hear your complaints about the fics and hear your ideas for future fics.
Relena: I don't give a fuckrat what you are here for.
"Mars:" Shut it. We don't care about your stupid issues.
Quatre: For the love of Sandrock!
Heero: And ZERO.
Wufei: And the Dragon.
"Mars": Grrrrr . . . SHUT IT!
Bill Clinton: I will pardon all of you.
"Mars": Shut-Oh my-
Fic writer J: AHHH! You! Out of this, NOW!!
Bill Clinton: What are you trying to do, impeach me?!?!
Fic writer J: Get Out!!!
Relena: Kisama (You with scorn in Japanese. Almost to the same effect as Damn you!), get out!
Bill Clinton: Relena, I thought you would understand politician to politician.
Relena: Oh please! Do you think I'm a real honest to ZERO politician? I lied and pulled strings to get into office.and don't you dare quote me! Re-election is coming.
Fic writer J: You, Clinton, What are you still doing here?!
Bill Clinton: Me? I'm going, I'm going! *he disappears*
Trowa: For the love of-
"Mars": Shut it.
Relena: Who the hell are "Missy," "Mars," and Fic writer "Jess"?!
"Mars": Curious isn't it?
"Missy": That is for us to know-
Relena: Yes, yes and you to find out. I know. That is such a cliché. Who are you? Hey, "Mars," I know that you're not Sailor Mars and you sure aren't the god of war, or from the manga MARS. . . so. . .?
"Mars": Inquisitive.
Fic writer "Jess": Actually we're Lady Une's friends from the asylum.
-Silence-
Fic writer "Jess": Okay, Actually, we're fic writers.
Heero: Kuso (crap in Japanese).
New character: Darien! Darien!
Sailor Mars: That's not Darien you dumbbell! That's Trowa!
Sailor Moon: Oh. Are you sure? He has longlegs like Darien.
Trowa: *turns around* I don't look like Darien!
Sailor Moon: Hey! Your bangs are weird! Ohhhh scary! SCARY! That guy in tight pants has a gun! OH HELP! *Starts wailing and crying*
Sailor Jupiter: *Sighs* What a flake.
Quatre: who are you girls?
Sailor Moon: I'm Sailor Moon! The champion of justice!
Sailor Venus: Yeah, yeah, actually we're all pretty girls with unnaturally long legs, huge eyes, twig skinny waists, short skirts and talking cat gurus.
Wufei: I love you guys! I'm in all the fan clubs!
Heero: *raises an eyebrow*
Zechs: Really.go on.
Fic writer "Jess": Zechs, what are you talking about?
Zechs: Venus just told me that her hair is really blond! Unbelievable isn't it?
Sailor Venus: (under her breath) that's 'cause you bleach.
Sailor Mercury: Not really. . .you know my hair really is blue.
Trowa: Really?? I never realized that people could have naturally blue hair.
Treize: And I never realized that Dorothy's eyebrows are real.and she's my niece!
Relena: You and Freddie Prince Jr. have something in common.
Treize: What?
Freddie Prince Jr.: We both pluck our eyebrows.
Relena: What the asspick?! We're at MTV!
Sailor Mercury: Yes according to my observations we have-
Wufei: Hey what are we doing here?
Fic writer J: When you were discussing eyebrows, I transported us all here. We are at-
Announcer: Welcome to CELEBRITY DEATH MATCH!!!
Heero: Kuso.
Trowa: For the love of ZERO!
Meeting With the Fic Writer
Relena: What the fuck is up with me always yelling Heeeerrrrooo?!
Quatre: *snicker* Relena [in a sing song voice] you're a Peacecraft. You aren't supposed to swear.
Relena: You shut the hell up. Quatre, even you aren't playing your Role.
Fic writer J: Relena!
Duo: What?! Can everyone please be quiet? I wanna talk.
Quatre: No surprise there.
Fic writer J: Quatre!
Quatre: Fic writer!
Wufei: WOMAN!
Duo: I just want to ask if I can ditch the clip on ponytail in the next flick?
Wufei: Only girls wear clip-ons.
Duo: Oh yeah wig head?
Wufei: Wighead?
Hilde: Duo! Wufei! Stop! Don't fight here!
Relena: Oh yeah! A fight!
Quatre: Fic writer, can I dye my hair blue?
Zechs: Hey, if he gets to do that, I want to stop bleaching.
Treize: Where's Lady Une?
Sally: She's in a padded cell, something about split personalities.
Fic writer J: Gomez! Catherine!
Gomez: Yes?
Fic writer J: (to Noin) Why are Gomez and Uncle Fester (from The Addams Family here?
Noin: It's a free colony.
Fic writer J: No! I mean this is a Gundam Wing meeting for sobbing in your mobile suit! Not a flipping Addams Family Reunion!
Noin: Oh. I get what you mean.
Catherine: I didn't think you'd mind.
Trowa: Catherine was watching Gomez and Fester throw knives.
Catherine: And I was sure Trowa and I could kick their butts in a match. So I called them *turns and throws a knife over her shoulder* out.
Fic writer J: You called them out.
Catherine: Yup. You know, I challenged them to a match.
Trowa: Come on! Closer to the head!
Heero: *fires a gun very close to Trowa's head*
Fic writer J: Heero!
Heero: I'll kill you all!
Treize: Ha. Ha. Go ahead and try Wing ZERO boy! You're nothing! ZERO! You can't kill me. I'm supposedly already dead. I didn't even get to be in Endless Waltz.*sobs*
Duo: Ha, Ha! I've got Wufei's wig!
Quatre: Okay. *sniff* Let's send it into the sun-
Treize: Oh please, do not remind me of your crying antics on Endless Waltz.
Wufei: Yeah Quatre, you're making Treize jealous, he wasn't even in Endless Wa-[Duo has shoved Wufei's own wing into his mouth]
Treize: Chemicals in my brain are moving around and re-shifting to stimulate the emotion known as anger. To be put in simplistic terms I am offended at your ongoing-
Quatre: Ahhhh! Lady Une is loose!
Lady Une: Glasses or no?
Treize: My lady. I heard you had an Identity crisis.
Lady Une: That's a load of kuso! (Crap in Japanese)
Treize: Please, regain your composure Lady.
Fic writer J: How did you escape from the asylum?!
Dorothy: I helped her.
Duo: You know. I have a clip-on, Wufei had a wig, Zechs bleaches, and Treize plucks. but Dorothy's eyebrows are real!!!
Treize: They're real?! *faints*
Lady Une: Mister Treize?
Fic writer J: (on the phone) - yes.come now.take Lady Une back to her padded cell. . .okay.
Fic writer "Jess": Who was that?
Fic writer J: *blinks* What are you doing here?
Fic writer "Jess": Who was that?
Fic writer J: Oh! It was Goku. He's doing that little appearing thingy . . . uh . . . instant teleportation to transport Lady Une back to her padded cell.
Fic writer "Jess": *blinks* padded--? As in like-that time of the month . . .?
Fic writer J: That's really sick "Jess." Get your mind out of the gutter.
Fic writer "Jess": I know.
Relena: tightassmotherfuck! Hey! Come on! Kick his ass, you bitchwipe little prude!
[Even Wufei's skin crawls when Relena shows her true personality]
Trowa: SHUT UP!
Relena: You SHUT UP!
"Mars": Both of you shut it!
"Missy": You always say that.
Fic writer "Jess": What kind of fic are you running here? What are those Addams Family dopes doing here?!
Heero: *seeing "Jess" for the first time* Ahhhhhh! Don't let her come near me! My character suffered enough in her last fic. Relena save ME!!!!
"Missy": Disturbing.
Relena: *turning to face "Jess"* Baka Chinga! (Stupid ass in Japanese) You said my dad was alive! (In "Jess's" last fic, she fooled Relena into believing that her father was still alive.
Fic writer "Jess": Oh piss off!
"Mars": (to Duo) Shut it!
Relena: Why don't you-
"Mars": Shut it!
Wufei: Who are you?
"Mars": WOULDN"T YOU LIKE TO KNOW?!
Zechs: E-
"Mars" DOES SHUT IT MEAN ANYTHING TO YOU?!
"Mars": We are here to hear your complaints about the fics and hear your ideas for future fics.
Relena: I don't give a fuckrat what you are here for.
"Mars:" Shut it. We don't care about your stupid issues.
Quatre: For the love of Sandrock!
Heero: And ZERO.
Wufei: And the Dragon.
"Mars": Grrrrr . . . SHUT IT!
Bill Clinton: I will pardon all of you.
"Mars": Shut-Oh my-
Fic writer J: AHHH! You! Out of this, NOW!!
Bill Clinton: What are you trying to do, impeach me?!?!
Fic writer J: Get Out!!!
Relena: Kisama (You with scorn in Japanese. Almost to the same effect as Damn you!), get out!
Bill Clinton: Relena, I thought you would understand politician to politician.
Relena: Oh please! Do you think I'm a real honest to ZERO politician? I lied and pulled strings to get into office.and don't you dare quote me! Re-election is coming.
Fic writer J: You, Clinton, What are you still doing here?!
Bill Clinton: Me? I'm going, I'm going! *he disappears*
Trowa: For the love of-
"Mars": Shut it.
Relena: Who the hell are "Missy," "Mars," and Fic writer "Jess"?!
"Mars": Curious isn't it?
"Missy": That is for us to know-
Relena: Yes, yes and you to find out. I know. That is such a cliché. Who are you? Hey, "Mars," I know that you're not Sailor Mars and you sure aren't the god of war, or from the manga MARS. . . so. . .?
"Mars": Inquisitive.
Fic writer "Jess": Actually we're Lady Une's friends from the asylum.
-Silence-
Fic writer "Jess": Okay, Actually, we're fic writers.
Heero: Kuso (crap in Japanese).
New character: Darien! Darien!
Sailor Mars: That's not Darien you dumbbell! That's Trowa!
Sailor Moon: Oh. Are you sure? He has longlegs like Darien.
Trowa: *turns around* I don't look like Darien!
Sailor Moon: Hey! Your bangs are weird! Ohhhh scary! SCARY! That guy in tight pants has a gun! OH HELP! *Starts wailing and crying*
Sailor Jupiter: *Sighs* What a flake.
Quatre: who are you girls?
Sailor Moon: I'm Sailor Moon! The champion of justice!
Sailor Venus: Yeah, yeah, actually we're all pretty girls with unnaturally long legs, huge eyes, twig skinny waists, short skirts and talking cat gurus.
Wufei: I love you guys! I'm in all the fan clubs!
Heero: *raises an eyebrow*
Zechs: Really.go on.
Fic writer "Jess": Zechs, what are you talking about?
Zechs: Venus just told me that her hair is really blond! Unbelievable isn't it?
Sailor Venus: (under her breath) that's 'cause you bleach.
Sailor Mercury: Not really. . .you know my hair really is blue.
Trowa: Really?? I never realized that people could have naturally blue hair.
Treize: And I never realized that Dorothy's eyebrows are real.and she's my niece!
Relena: You and Freddie Prince Jr. have something in common.
Treize: What?
Freddie Prince Jr.: We both pluck our eyebrows.
Relena: What the asspick?! We're at MTV!
Sailor Mercury: Yes according to my observations we have-
Wufei: Hey what are we doing here?
Fic writer J: When you were discussing eyebrows, I transported us all here. We are at-
Announcer: Welcome to CELEBRITY DEATH MATCH!!!
Heero: Kuso.
Trowa: For the love of ZERO!
