AN/: I'm playing around with the timeline a bit to make it closer to Christmas. You'll understand when you read it.

Disclaimer: Direct all your love to Joss, he deserves it. (And wish for a Christmas "Gee, maybe I should make a Serenity sequel" miracle!)

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'No wonder so many people off themselves around the holidays.' Spike thought, reclined in his chair. 'Watchin' all the happy families run around filled with Christmas cheer is enough to make anyone wanna take a bullet to the brainpan.'

He hadn't always felt this way. In his human days, Christmas was all about family; he and his mum going to parties, mass, dinners. It had been joyful; his favorite holiday. There had always been a beautiful tree in the parlor, and mountains of gifts all around. The house would smell of turkey and steamed pudding, and would always inspire him so much that he'd fill pages and pages of his journal with poetry. He got his best work done around the holidays.

Even after the life was drained out of him, Christmas was still memorable; he and Dru would party the night away. Dancing, feasting, lost in their own world. He still held on to one of the gifts she had given him years ago- a silver lighter. A reminder of happier times.

Christmas now though, was far from the wonder it used to be. Now he had no mum, no Dru, no real friends. He had gotten used to that; over the years he had gotten used to being alone. But Buffy…now she was gone too. He didn't even have the illusion of hope with her left anymore; she had taken that, along with so much more, when she had walked out of here after Soldier Boy had come back for a visit, leaving him a shell of the man he had been before.

Last Christmas, Dawn and Tara had gone out and bought him a few things- a candelabra, a few books. Tara brought along a bottle of decent wine and some soda for Dawn and the three had spent the day after Christmas together. He remembered that so well- the three of them sitting in the candlelight drinking and talkin' together. He remembered sneaking Dawn a sip of his wine and Tara scolding him when he was caught, laughter in her eyes. It had been nice, knowing that they had cared enough to come. He had a feeling they wouldn't be showing up this ear, what with Tara leaving Willow and Buffy moving on, out of his dark. This year he was really and truly alone.

Just as he was about to enter a new level of self- pity, Spike sensed something outside the door. Alert, he sat still, knowing it could only be HER. If She was going to break up with him, She better not expect to come back looking for a Christmas fuck just a few weeks later; He was protecting the few shreds of dignity he had left with his life.

She knocked on the door, waiting for him to let her in. Spike closed his eyes and leaned his head back. If She had learned these marvelous manners years ago, She could have saved him many a door.

She knocked again. "Spike?" Tara's voice softly called out. Spike was on his feet instantly. He opened the door to find her standing there, clutching a bottle in one arm and a big ol' present in the other.

"Glinda; wasn't expectin' you." He told her, leaning against the doorframe and eying her warily.

Tara blushed and hurried to explain. "W-well, I didn't have anywhere to g-go for the holidays, a-and I figured…" She trailed off, looking into the darkness of the crypt.

Spike finished for her. "Y' figured that I'd be all by my lonesome as well." He guessed. She nodded, looking like he had just scolded her. He pushed off the wall and stood, arms crossed. "Well, sorry to disappoint, but I've got a party startin' any minute now." He informed her.

Her eyes dropped and she started backing away. "Oh, I-I'm sorry, I didn't know. I'll j-just go, okay? Merry C-Christmas." She turned. Spike quickly went out and pulled her back. She ended with his hand on her waist and staring up at his eyes, which were inches from her own.

"It's not much of a party, just me an' my old friend Jack." He told her quietly. He breathed in slowly, inhaling the scent of sandalwood and cinnamon that was all her.

She smiled that lopsided grin of hers- the one that had always made him take a second look whenever Willow wasn't around.

"D-Do you mind if me and the fancy French guy here join you?" She asked, holding up the wine.

Spike shrugged. "Don't know how Jack feels, but I'm for it." He told her. She chuckled- a sound that ran straight down his spine- and handed him the gift.

"Merry Christmas, Spike." She whispered, heading inside. Spike stared after her a moment, trying to gather himself. Course, watching her hips as she went through the door was guaranteed to make that difficult. Shaking his head, he took a deep breath and followed her in. The holidays were starting to look up.