Author's Notes: This is a Drake & Josh slash story. Slash meaning male on male action. And this one is rated M, so take that warning seriously. This story contains lots of slash and adult situations, so if you are uncomfortable with that idea, please go read another story. But if you're willing to stick around, please leave any review and/or constructive criticism (I appreciate one and all). I do not own Drake & Josh, I do not make profit from this, and no copyright infringement is intended. Enjoy!

Summary: When Drake needs help with his oral Spanish exam, he asks Josh to help him study. But when Drake is struggling, Josh thinks of a way to spice things up.

The Spanish War
Drake/Josh. 4,522 words.

"Okay, try…burro."

"Burro."

"No dude, you gotta roll your r's."

"I am rolling my r's."

"No, those are your eyes. Try again."

"Burrrrrro."

"Excelenté!" Josh congratulated, looking back down at the Spanish vocabulary list. Drake rolled his eyes again as he took a sip of his orange soda. The two of them were sitting at the kitchen table, surrounded by Spanish class handouts, test reviews, and Drake's Spanish book. The clock on the microwave blinked out 12:25 am as Drake looked at it for the millionth time since they'd started studying and he wished he could've been anywhere else but the confines of the kitchen.

"Dude, we're almost done right? At this point, I'm going to sleep through my test," Drake said as he rubbed his eyes. "And considering it's an oral exam, that's saying something."

"We wouldn't even be here if you hadn't managed to charm Senora Santos into giving you a makeup quiz after ditching it last week," Josh pointed out, still poring over the list of vocabulary words. "What were you even doing anyway?"

"We had to go check on my car, remember?" Drake asked, arching an eyebrow. He smirked when Josh's face turned pink. At the time, he had somehow convinced Josh to ditch class by telling him something was wrong with the shifting gear. He couldn't necessarily help it if they had managed to make out in the backseat instead. Remembering it now, Drake could still feel the ghosting touches of Josh's hands dragging their way up the inside of his black Zero Gravity concert t-shirt. Oh, and the way his lips had felt pressed up against the freckles at the base of his neck…

"Hey, you said you had nothing important to do in class," Josh said, interrupting Drake's slight brain detour. Leave it to Josh to always be a stickler for school work, even when it wasn't his own.

"C'mon man, Spanish class isn't important," Drake said, sighing. "Going out to fix my car, that's important."

"Drake, it is important if you want to pass the eleventh grade," Josh told him, wondering what it was going to take to get through that thick skull of his. His step-brother could be so stubborn that it drove Josh a little crazy sometimes. Drake wasn't interested unless it had to do with music or making out and Josh didn't have the slightest idea how to apply that to this particular study session. But if there was a will, there was a way. After all, Josh was the one who had gotten Drake to remember the five noble gases for the quiz bowl, right? And just like that, a brainstorm came to him. Looks like Honors Spanish was going to pay off after all.

"Okay, here's the plan," Josh started, smiling as he leaned his forearms against the side of the kitchen table. "Let's keep studying a little bit longer. But I'm going to give you a sentence in Spanish that you have to figure out on your own by tomorrow."

"What's in it for me?"

"Well, the satisfaction of getting your studying done for a test," Josh replied sarcastically.

"Yeah, yeah, besides that," Drake countered, impatient and intrigued by this offer.

"Figure out the sentence," Josh said, unable to contain his grin. "And you'll find out. Here's a pen; write this down."

Drake copied the words verbatim from Josh's mouth and stared at the piece of paper. It was an interesting thing, seeing how these foreign words would actually mean something to him by tomorrow afternoon. The two boys continued their studying, but the sentence haunted Drake even as he drifted off to sleep in his bed an hour later.

--

"May I have some water?" Senora Santos asked.

"Puedo tener un…poco…de agua?" Drake replied, struggling. They were almost done with the oral exam, only a few more questions to go. The classroom was empty, leaving the two of them alone for the makeup exam while everyone else got to go home for the afternoon. Drake wanted to join them so badly, but lucky for him the torture was almost over.

"Bueno! Now a few words from your vocab list," Senora Santos said, her blue eyes scanning the tattered list behind tiny framed glasses. "Zebra?"

"Cebra."

"Horse?"

"um…Caballo."

"And…Donkey."

"Burro," Drake said proudly, remembering to roll his r's. The extra time of studying with Josh looked like paid off because Senora Santos could not stop smiling.

"Muy bueno Senor Parker, muy bueno!" the teacher congratulated. "I only wish you would apply yourself like this the rest of the semester and not just when you're in jeopardy of failing. Can I have your written test?"

Drake grabbed the stapled exam off the desk behind him and passed it to his teacher as a thought occurred to him. He was supposed to have an answer to Josh's own little test by the time he got home and he still had no clue what it meant. He went so far as to almost ask Mrs. Hafer where the library was in order to do some research, but luckily he'd stopped himself (but not before Mrs. Hafer could remind Drake that she hated him).

But standing here, with his Spanish teacher…maybe she knew the answer. Sure, Josh had said specifically to find out on his own but Drake rationalized that he was finding out on his own. He was using his resources to help him find the answer; he didn't know if Josh would buy it, but it sounded pretty convincing in his own head.

"Uh, Senora Santos?"

"Si? Yes Drake?"

"I need some help with a translation I found…."

--

Sitting peacefully on his bed, Josh enjoyed the stillness of the house as he read one of his favorite books. Megan was at oboe practice; his parents were still at work. With Drake at school for his makeup exam, Josh found joy in the rare quiet of the often busy household.

But often in times like these, if Josh was enjoying himself too much it probably wasn't going to last too long. The slam of the front door reverberated through the house and interrupted Josh's paragraph. He lifted his head when he heard the familiar stomps up the staircase and he looked at the door just in time to see Drake crash through and slam it behind him, looking about as angry as a disturbed hornet's nest.

Josh could visibly see the anger not only in Drake's red tinged face, but throughout his body as well. He was out of breath, clearly from running inside and up the stairs. When the two of them made eye contact, Drake narrowed his eyebrows and Josh was almost afraid of what was about to come.

"So…how was the test?"

"YOU!" Drake spat out, almost as if the word disgusted him. Without warning, Drake closed the gap between them quickly and lunged at his step-brother. Attacking with slaps and punches, Josh tried best as he could to block the shots as they fell off the bed and hit the wooden floor with a resounding thud. They rolled on the ground for a few minutes as Drake tried to work out his aggression on the other boy. When Josh saw an opportunity, he grabbed it as quickly as he could and managed to roll on top of Drake and pin his wrists down to the floor above his head.

"Drake! What on earth has gotten into you?!" Josh demanded, noticing the way Drake's chest fell and rose quickly with each irritating breath. Drake tried to wiggle out, but Josh locked his knees tighter against Drake's hips and soon, the other boy gave up. They sat in silence for a few moments until Josh tightened his grip on Drake's wrists. "Well?"

"You are never allowed to help me study for Spanish again," Drake told him. "I don't care if you're in Honors Spanish. I don't even care if you get elected to be… president of Cuba!"

"Technically, Cuba is a dictatorship…"

"Dude!"

"Ah okay, sorry!" Josh apologized, thoroughly confused on whatever Drake was babbling about. "Are you going to tell me why I can't educate you on the Spanish language ever again?"

"First, get off me man," Drake said, pushing against Josh's belly. The two of them untangled from each other and Drake began to pace as Josh plopped himself down on the worn out couch.

"Well?"

"Okay, so I finish my test, all right?" Drake started, using his hands for emphasis as he paced back and forth from the coffee table to Josh's desk. Josh couldn't help but think of him as an annoyed tennis ball. "And I'm feeling pretty good, I think I might've done okay."

"See man, what did I tell you? A little bit of studying goes a long way and -"

"Oh you are not off the hook," Drake interrupted, pointing his finger. "I'm done with my test and I don't have the answer to your own little quiz from last night. School's done for the day, I got nowhere else to go but home. I wasn't able to find the answer during school. What do you think comes next, Josh?"

"I don't know Drake," Josh replied, raking a hand through his curly black hair. Drake paced some more, allowing the moment to build in the tension between them. "C'mon, what happened?"

"Hang on, I'm getting there. I figure Senora Santos knows a lot of Spanish, being the teacher and whatever," Drake said, shoving his hands into his jeans pocket as he turned to face Josh. "So I gave her your little sentence to translate."

Drake took immediate pleasure in watching Josh's face turn ghostly pale when realization dawned on him. Josh opened and closed his mouth a few times, completely unsure of what to say, let alone what to even think.

"While you're sitting there with your mouth hanging open, I'll just let you know that I had that same exact expression on my face when Senora Santos dragged me to the principal's office and informed him of what it was I said to her!" Drake exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air. "You don't say those kinds of things to teachers Josh! And I'll have you know that even I've only said that to certain very particular girls."

When Josh still didn't say anything, Drake sighed and took it as his opportunity to crash on the couch next to him. There was a silence between them until it was interrupted by a sound. But not just any noise…it sounded an awful lot like a giggle. Drake slid his eyes to the left of him and made direct contact with Josh's. And in doing so, Drake seemed to have unleashed loud laughter that was built up inside of the other boy.

"Are you laughing?" Drake asked rhetorically, watching incredulously as Josh erupted into hysterics next to him. "I can't believe you're laughing at me; this is all your fault! She dragged me down by the ear, man! I might have permanent nerve damage!"

Josh, clutching his stomach, was laughing so hard that tears were threatening to prick at his eyes. "Dude, stop!" Noticing the angry look on Drake's face, Josh could feel himself calm down if only anchored by the fact that Drake was entirely too pissed at him to see the humor in the situation. While trying to catch his breath, Josh continued. "I can't believe this. Oh man, to have just seen the look on your face!" Josh wiped the tears that had managed to stray. "It would've been priceless man. Priceless!"

Drake continued glowering at him until all of Josh's laughter had finally subsided. Drake didn't know if he'd ever been so embarrassed in his life, standing in front of the principal as those dirty kinds of words tumbled out of his teacher's mouth. Drake tried to explain himself, but even he couldn't come up with an excuse quick enough and he had just hung his head in complete and utter shame as his punishment was handed to him.

"Laugh all you want now," Drake told Josh, crossing his arms in front of his chest. "But the principal is calling mom and dad tonight to tell them why I have to serve a one month detention." Drake leaned forward to leverage himself off the couch, but not before hitting Josh's knee a couple times. "You know what? You could use a little detention too."

"Wait, what?"

"You heard me Josh," Drake replied, making his way toward the door. "You are under personal detention from me. Find the terms of that in your Spanish book!"

"What's that even supposed to mean?" Josh asked, pretty sure he was already aware of what Drake was getting at. He hoped that the other boy was kidding, but judging by the look on his face, Josh highly doubted it.

"Figure it out and get back to me at the end of the month," Drake told him, opening the door. He walked into the hallway toward the bathroom, ready to take the longest shower ever as he tried to think of what to say to his parents.

continue on to the next chapter please.