"The Glorious Tale of Love Triumphant" by Misteekinlondon

Love knows no bonds and conquers all in this tale of woe and romance. Warning: River/Jayne, slavery, kidnapping, attempted rape, character death, as well as the sex on a horse.

To all the rayne authors who have inspired me.

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ONCE UPON A TIME- there was a super fantastic genius who lived in a box. She had an EVIL brother who had locked her way in this box and was trying to take her away to sell her to Atherton Wing to perpetuate the evil alliance. But he was accidentally discovered by a noble band of do-gooders. When the all mighty captain sarcastic opened the box, he revealed the shinning maiden in all her glory.

His valiant knight beheld her shivering beauty and dropped to one knee in amazement, declaring to all the world that he should love and wed this noble beauty. When the EVIL brother drew up to his full snooty height and snapped in his best high surgeon tone. "She is mine to take or sell. No un-landed peasant shall ever touch her."

Leaping to his valiant steed, the NOBLE knight drew his sword. "None shall keep me from this blushing bride."

As the princess awoke from her frozen prison, she beheld the noble knight with his shining sword upon his valiant steed and knew she could love no other. She would have him for her husband or throw herself upon his shining sword. She would rather die at his feet, with her blood soaking into his well polished combat boots and to remain forever a part of him than to ever breathe without him.

Seeing the love light shine out of her glorious dark chocolate gaze, Simon fell to his knees. "Sister, I tried to wrong you." And his heart grew three sizes that minute. "But with my humblest regret and most grateful heart, give your hand to this noble knight. If it be in your heart, as I know it is- spare me beloved, striking sister."

And the glorious light of eternity shone down upon the sacred maiden and the brave knight, casting them in the ethereal light of love for all to see. He dropped his shining sword of wrath and took her hand, pulling her from her box into his arms. "Never again shall I ride this valiant steed without you. Never again shall I ride- but remain home to rear our children in bliss. We shall raise buttercups to sell at the fair. And we shall reach beyond all imagined wealth, and our children's lives shall become ours reliving our glorious tell without us." With that said the newly betrothed pair kissed long and hard and their passion flamed so quickly they stripped his armor so he would be as unbound as she, then celebrated their love for all the world to see from their place high above the ground.

But low and behold, captain sarcastic stepped forward attempting to stop the consummation for he had freed the damsel from her prison and should know her first. The formerly evil brother took up the shining sword, wishing to receive the gift of his sister's benevolent smile, he smote the captain.

As they picked sand and horse hair from their glowingly fulfilled quenched bodies, the Captain's lowly woman servant caught the attention of the formerly evil brother, offering to pleasure him in ways never seen before, for his was a victorious cause that demanded a trio of kisses.

The Captain was revived and mended in his ways by the beautiful fairy whore as she breathed new life into him with her magical kiss. She being brought from another dimension, had been specifically trained to renew this man's zest for life. Taking the captain by the hand, she led him to her bed of satin and silk as it magically sprang from the ground. (Because the fairy whores did not indulge themselves on anything less than absolute luxury.)

Thus the world was restored to perfect order and bliss, smiting the Alliance in one blow.