Title: don't leave me, not again.

Summary: and he comes and goes, like rain and sunshine. it isn't enough. serena\carter.

Authors Note: I love Serena and Carter, there's something about them that makes them that little bit more exciting than Serena and Nate. I'll always ship SN first but yeah. This doesn't have a happy ending because I don't really see one where it comes to Serena and Carter.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.


golden hair. tanned limbs. bright smile. white teeth.

and he was falling in love with the infamous serena van der woodsen.

i've heard a lot about you, he remarks as her giggles fill the room.

tipsy, drunk giggles.

and he falls in love.

(even if she's drunk.)


they met again when she needs help.

to find her father, or something.

and it's long days and short nights.

and conversations that flit easily between them.

and then something happens that causes her to break down in tears.

(and he's sorry, because he loves her.)


he calls once in a while.

sometimes she'll pick up.

off at boarding school, new boys falling at her feet.

apparently.

and he texts her once asking how she is,

(she doesn't reply but next he hears she's home so he comes home too.)


he doesn't see her for a while but he runs into her fellow BFF's.

he remembers the gang, the non judging breakfast club.

or something equally stupid.

nate likes him until he uses him.

and chuck thinks he's old.

(maybe that's why she doesn't want him.)


he hasn't heard of dan humphrey until her grandmother calls and asks him to be her escort.

he meets him at a tea blair waldorf had thrown.

he's nothing like the rest of the boys she had dated.

but she fawns over him like he was.

he knows it won't last.

(how could it possibly?)


and certain things happen that he doesn't want to talk about.

all he remembers are her hands on his face.

all he remembers is the smell of her conditioner.

all he remembers his soft silky ponytail brushing against his cheek.

and he doesn't want to forget it.

(because maybe her and this dan humphrey are for real.)


he doesn't see her for a while and that's alright.

things go and pass and memories float and fade.

he barely remembers if he had heard any news about her.

but then he's entangled in her best friend's limbs and she's asking him to leave.

along with a certain chuck bass, of course.

(he wonders when that happened, the whole chuck and blair thing.)


he finds him again.

by mistake.

he wasn't searching for him.

no, of course not.

and then he's sliding into a limo with her and this is it, all his dreams are coming true.

(but he isn't thinking about anything other than her eyes locked on his.)


they let loose a little.

have a little fun.

hook up one night, kisses, touching, skin on skin.

and she pulls away before it goes farther.

and then she's loosing her father, letting him slip between her fingers.

(he blocks out her cries while trying to help her get over it.)


back in the city it's as if nothing ever happened.

yet something did happen.

he's not talking about the brief time where they explored each others mouths.

it's more along of the lines her dad doesn't want her.

it's okay serena, just doesn't cut it anymore.

(he really wishes it did.)


a few weeks of bliss follow.

kisses. smiles. hugs. big blue eyes. blonde hair. soft giggles.

it's not influenced by a substance.

just him.

serena's his drug.

(and he feels as if he's one the lottery.)


but he comes and goes.

he's never there.

they get married.

and yet the visits never stop.

because he travels day, and night.

(and she says it's not enough as she pushes forward divorce papers.)


and he's breaking because things weren't meant to end this way.

three years. eight months. ten days.

since he had put a label on them.

boyfriend and girlfriend.

yet only one year and seven months and three days of marriage.

(he finds out that she marries that humphrey kid after all.)