The kid looked familiar, and he looked sad.
Lance walked up to where he sat by the fountain.
"Hey there… something wrong?"
The kid looked up at him.
Dang, he looked really familiar.
"No, nothing," said the kid.
"Then why do you look so sad?"
The kid looked into the fountain.
"Because I can't make a wish."
"Why not?"
"Because I don't have a gac to throw."
Oh. That was where he recognized him from.
Lance checked his pocket. He still had that old penny.
Well, it needed a good use, and pennies weren't worth peanuts back on Earth, anyway.
"Here," he said, pulling it out. "Why don't you try this one?"
The kid took it.
"This isn't a gac."
"Yeah, no, it's even BETTER," Lance said. "It's a magic wishing coin. You tell it your wish out loud and throw it in, and then something awesome happens!"
The kid turned over the penny, running his thumb all over Abraham Lincoln.
"I wish my dad would get out of work early so we can hang out."
Plop.
"Where does your dad work?" Lance asked.
"He's maintenance in the mall. He works lots and lots of vargas all the time."
"And he just leaves you here by yourself?"
"He says I'm big enough."
There were a lot of injustices in the universe. This one reminded him of Earth.
"Well, is there any fun stuff to do in the mall while you're waiting?"
"Yes, but it costs money."
"Well, we'll see about THAT," Lance declared. "I bet your charming pal Lance can convince them otherwise."
They stopped by the food court first.
"Whaddya say, Kimple, are you hungry?"
"Um… no."
"Not even for ice cream?"
"What's ice cream?"
"Oh. Never mind."
He saw Kimple staring at a couple of the displays.
"You know what, Kimple?" he said. "I'm not hungry either, but there's a whole bunch of stuff here I've never tried. Why don't you pick out something you like, and I'll just try a taste of it?"
Kimple smiled and ordered a bucket of gremblefleeb chips.
"Hey," Lance winked at the cashier. "Just sayin', you should totally give me this for free, because I'm awesome."
"Oh my gosh," she said. "Aren't you that GUY?"
"In the flesh and at your restaurant!"
"Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Here, have a large stikbork for free WITH that!"
"Look at that, Kimple! We got a free stikbork!"
"All right!"
The stikbork turned out to be more to Lance's taste than the gremblefleebs, but he was happy to let Kimple finish both of them anyway. He was surprised a little kid could eat so much.
"So what makes you so awesome?" Kimple asked.
"Oh, come on, buddy, it's natural."
"Can we go to the arcade now?"
"Eh… I dunno," Lance said. "It's a little harder to bribe a machine than a person."
"Then who else CAN we bribe?"
"Okay, maybe 'bribe's' not a good word for it. But I think I know somebody…"
"Interested in the latest Earth fashions?" the alien greeted them.
"Dude, in case you haven't noticed, I AM the latest Earth fashion!"
"What IS this junk?" Kimple said.
"Oh, you have never SEEN junk like this!" Lance grinned. He picked up an umbrella and pushed the button to open it.
"Oh, cool," Kimple said. "It's like a snoffulator but small."
"Indeed," said the little green man. "Genuine miniature Earth snoffulators."
"How about those free Kalteneckers?" Lance asked.
"Well, they're free with PURCHASE," said the alien.
"Are they free to awesome guys like me?" Lance winked.
"No."
"Is this the Kaltenecker?" Kimple pointed at the store's cow. "Because I want it."
"Don't worry, Kimple, we got this," Lance said. "So," he said to the shopkeeper, "How about we just BORROW the Kaltenecker and whenever people go WOW WHERE DID YOU GET THAT we'll tell them about this awesome place?"
"I don't trust you not to steal him," said the alien.
"Okay," Lance sighed. "This is a bit shadier than I usually go, but do you deal in intel?"
"What kind of intel are you offering?" said the alien.
"Earth stuff," Lance said. "Prime Earth insight on modern Earth culture."
"That would be acceptable," said the alien. "Tell me what you know."
"Well I know a whole BOOK of knock-knock jokes!" Lance said. "Knock knock!"
"Tell me the joke."
"I AM, you gotta say, 'Who's there?' Knock knock!"
"Who's there?"
"Gorilla."
"Hilarious!" cheered the alien.
"Uh, yeah," Lance said.
"I would like to hear another one."
"All right. Knock knock!"
"Who's there?"
"Repeat."
The alien clapped his hands together and laughed.
"This planet has a transcendent sense of humor!"
"I'm glad you like it," Lance said. "So, how about that Kaltenecker?"
"One more joke," said the little green man.
"Okay," Lance thought. "I'll need Kaltenecker's help with this one."
He went over to the cow.
"Knock knock!"
"Who's there?"
"Interrupting cow!" He tapped the cow on the back. "Hey, it's your line, buddy!"
"This joke is not hilarious," said the alien.
"We're experiencing technical difficulties," Lance said. "The funny part is when Kaltenecker says 'moo.'"
"Too bad, because that would have been quite funny."
"Well, Earth's not ALWAYS funny," Lance said.
"It's true," said the alien. "The situation with the Xlepfoni infiltration was certainly not funny."
"I'm sorry, the what?"
"Well, here is your Kaltenecker," the alien handed him a halter. "Have a Fergalicious day."
"Hey! Look!" Kimple pointed from atop the cow's back. "It's the Paladins of Voltron!"
"Say, what?" Lance looked to where he was pointing. It was a nearby shop window, with text he could only guess the meaning of, right above a set of color-coded action figures.
"Oh my god, that's AWESOME," Lance gasped. "These look amazing!"
"So even Earth people know about Voltron?"
"What do you mean, even Earth people? We're not THAT behind the times!"
Kimple didn't seem to be listening.
"Voltron's super cool!" he said.
"Oh yeah!" Lance agreed. "Especially the Blue Paladin!"
"My favorite is the green one!"
"WHAT? Why is PIDGE your favorite?"
"Because that one's the coolest!"
"Okay, I don't even know how to respond to that."
"Kimple!" called a voice.
Kimple looked up.
"Dad! You're done with work?"
A taller alien came up and lifted him off the cow.
"Yep! We can go home now!"
"I made a friend today, Dad!" Kimple pointed at Lance.
Kimple's dad nodded at him.
"I see you have!"
"Hi, Kimple's dad! I'm Lance!"
Kimple's dad glanced between Lance and the Voltron action figures. He looked confused, then surprised, then like he was about to say something, but Lance put a finger to his lips and smiled.
Kimple's dad smiled too.
"Well, Kimple," he said to his son, "I'd say that's a very special friend you've just made."