Prolouge
If you could go back in time and stop yourself from making a mistake, would you?
In retrospect, I may have made some pretty rash desicions. Some of my decisions had left the ones I loved crippled and damaged. Some ruined otherwise sound relationships with my peers. And some, I would rather not talk about at this point.
Decisions are what we live for. Decisions guide us through our otherwise monotonous lives. Decions force you to make the choice between good and bad, even when the lines between them are blurred. And in the end, decisions are what make us think and reflect on who we really are.
I like to consider life as a game of chess. Maybe it's because i've lived out my entire life like I was playing a simple game. I have questioned every move I have ever made, and strategized and planned throughout the course of my life. But in the end, what led me to checkmate?
I tell a story of how I ended up as a winning loser; a dark person in a bright room. Life was always a struggle for me, as I always made poor decisions in my life and never learnt from my mistakes. I apologized to everybody that I had hurt in my past, but would they have forgiven me even if they weren't there to hear me? They had all abandoned me when I needed them most, like I had abandoned them when they needed me.
I had everything. Why did I throw it all away? Is it destiny that brings me here, or just my bad luck? Or was it the people entering and leaving my life that I no longer cared about? All I know is where it began and where it ended. I knew exactly who and what was involved. I knew how and why, but am still left with questions.
But in the end, I have learnt one thing from my life: Decisions are what guide our destinies.