PHANTOM INTERUPTUS

These good fellows don't belong to me but I promise when I'm done to pick um up, dust um off and with a kiss on the cheek return them safely home.

A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools. ~Douglas Adams

A/N: A quick ditty for the day.

"This should be against the firehouse policy and procedure manual," Johnny moaned as he tied up his shoes.

Roy chuckled. "Look, if you just stay out of his way today we can get through this shift in one piece."

Johnny widened his eyes and stuck his chin out. "Stay out of his way?! Are you kidding me?" He shook a finger at Roy. "This is nothing but intentional torture on the part of the Chief to make this shift work this of all days and you know it."

"Know what?" Hank said as he came through the dressing room heading towards the bay.

Roy tucked his shirt in. "Well Cap, Johnny here seems to think we are in for a day of torment from the Phantom."

"Just stay out of his way." Hank smiled and kept walking through.

Johnny was speechless as he threw his hands up in the air behind Cap's back. Roy laughed and started pushing him towards the bay for morning roll call.

Hank went down the list for the traditional attendance then doled out chores for the shift. It was easy to see the dread in each man's eyes knowing that Chet stood at the end of the line with a smile that would embarrass even the Cheshire Cat.

"Chet…"

"Latrines Cap, happily."

"Great." Several muttered.

"Please Chet, just don't send anyone to the hospital is all I ask," Hank said with resignation in his voice.

"Why Cap, I'd never do any such thing," he replied indigently. "I'm just here to do my job to the best of my ability Cap."

"Uh huh." Hank tucked his clipboard under his arm and headed to his office. It was safer in there.

Johnny stood still as the group ambled to the kitchen for breakfast and watched to make sure Chet was out of sight before considering his next move.

"What are you doing?"

Looking up he saw Roy waiting at the door.

"Nothing, just making sure he's never behind me today." Johnny moved slowly towards Roy now.

Roy turned around. "I'd be more worried about having him out of my sight." Johnny's eyes got wide again and Roy had to work hard to not laugh. "Come on partner. At least get some breakfast in your system first before tackling the apocalypse."

"Maybe we can get twenty calls today so I'm not here long enough."

"One can only hope," Roy replied just as the tones sounded.

STATION 51, MAN DOWN, WESTCORP CONSTRUCTION…TIME OUT 0756

Roy raised his eyebrows with a you got what you asked for look in Johnny's direction as they hurried to the squad.

The squad pulled up first to find a teenaged girl running towards them looking frantic and scared. Roy hopped out and met her.

"My boyfriend! He's trapped!"

"Alight, we're here to help. Just tell us where he is, what happened?"

She started sobbing. "I told him we shouldn't be in there! I told him!"

Hank stepped beside Roy. "Show us where he is."

The girl turned and started running making the others move quickly to keep up with her pace. Passing through the large chain link double gate it only took a glance to see the padlock had been cut through and thus how they gained entry. Inside the lumber yard the girl took an abrupt right and circled around to what appeared to be a storage building.

Her hands shook as she pointed to the door. "He was in there."

"Miss, I need you to stand back there out of the way," Hank pointed back towards the gate. Thankfully she complied without protest and moved back so the men could start to work.

Carefully Roy reached for the door handle and pulled the door open. When two by fours fell out the door he instantly jumped back out of their way. Waiting for the dust to settle he peered into the darkness.

"Bobby? Can you hear me?"

The return silence was ominous.

"Cap, it looks like lumber is stacked up along the walls and has partially caved in," Roy called back. "I can't see him."

Marco passed him a flashlight. Roy scanned the area. "There!"

Johnny peered over his shoulder. "How the heck did he get there?"

"I don't know but it's gonna be even harder to get him out."

Roy shone the light down on the pair of white sneakers that stuck out from under the pile of lumber. He then directed it towards the walls surrounding the fallen man. "That's our problem."

Hank looked at the perilously perched stacks of lumber that lined the walls. It was obvious that the shelves holding them were inadequately built and now posed a threat to their own rescue attempts.

"Roy, can you work your way over to him without coming in contact with any of that?"

Roy swallowed. "I think so Cap."

"Chet let's work on getting that wall stable," he pointed into the shack.

"Sure Cap," he said and started looking for something to stabilize the wall.

Roy began to slowly inch his way while stepping over the fallen timbers, each step precisely planned. The walls creaked and groaned making his progress slow. With a turn he saw Chet and Johnny moving toward him each with an armful of equipment and a trauma box.

Three more steps and he reached the white tennis shoes. Bending down he felt for a pulse then felt them move.

"He's alive. Hey there, don't move okay? We're with the fire department and we're gonna get you out of this."

But the boy kept moving around with increasing panic and moaning. Roy felt his own rising alarm as the walls spoke to their movements and his ability to calm the man was failing miserably.

"Roy! If he keeps that up this is coming down on all of us," Johnny shouted out.

Then the man began to push his way through the heap on top of him. With a quick decision Roy lunged forward in an effort to make the boy stop flailing. It was too late. Everyone froze as the walls seemed to sway towards them. Hank's heart skipped a beat knowing there was no way they could move fast enough.

Roy woke up with a weight on his legs. It wasn't really painful, just heavy and restricting. He could hear someone calling his name.

"Roy?"

It was Hank. Moving around Roy could feel the boards being pushed off his body and hands pulling on his arms and legs. "Cap?"

"Roy, it's Johnny, can you hear me pally?"

The controlled panic in his partner's voice was loud and clear. "Yea, what happened?"

As Johnny's face became clear in his vision he saw him smiling. "Well, it's good to see you alive partner."

Roy started to sit up.

"Easy does it."

A quick self-assessment told him that nothing was broken. "Think I'm okay. What happened?" He looked around to see Hank and Marco moving lumber with Mike. Sitting up he tried to figure out what happened.

"That kid brought the whole thing down on us," Johnny answered. "You sure you're okay?"

Roy dusted himself off. "Yea, I'm okay." He worked on getting to his feet and realized the kid was gone. "Where?"

"He's right outside. By some miracle he wasn't hurt either, other than a bump on the head." He reached down and help Roy find his footing. "Chet wasn't so lucky though."

Roy's eyes shot around the room. "Where is he?"

Johnny helped him navigate the fallen traps and they reached the door quickly. "He's okay but managed to knock his shoulder out again."

Once outside he saw the police car pull up for the teenagers, Mike and Marco were loading the engine equipment back up and Johnny moved over to check on Chet.

"Ambulance is on the way," Johnny said as he put a blood pressure cuff around Roy's arm. "Just glad you're okay pally."

"We'll keep Chet overnight," Dr. Kel Brackett updated the medics.

"But he's going to be okay?" Johnny asked.

Kel put the chart up in the rack. "As much as he is protesting I think he will fine."

"And Roy?"

Roy slid off the exam table and buttoned up his shirt.

"I'm not happy with that period of unconsciousness but his x-rays are clear and vital signs are normal. You can return to work Roy, just let me know if any concerning symptoms come up."

"I will doc. Can we check on Chet now?"

"Sure, he's in room four."

"Chet, you'll do anything to get out of work wont ya?"

His expression was one of being downtrodden and beaten up. "Guess so."

Johnny and Roy looked at each other.

"Hey man, what's wrong? You know besides having a busted up shoulder," Johnny asked as he sat on the end of the table.

Chet shrugged. "Just, well, never mind. You wouldn't get it."

Roy frowned a bit. "If there's something you need for us to do while you're here."

He rubbed his hand against his pants. "Nah, just take care of yourselves today."

"So what was that all about?"

Roy backed into the bay and parked. "I think he's bummed out about missing his favorite day of the year at work."

Johnny nodded. "Now, I don't wish any ill will but it will be nice to not have to worry about the Phantom today."

Walking into the kitchen Johnny heard the noise above his head just before the bucket came crashing down.

Chet leaned back in the bed and started flipping channels already bored and restless. The day which had started out with joy and excitement had quickly crumbled leaving him totally unfulfilled and immensely frustrated.

When the phone rang he fumbled to pick up. "Hello?"

"Chet, so help me if you weren't laid up in that hospital bed already I'd put you there!"

He laughed. "Johnny man, what happened? You seem….upset."

"Upset? Really? A bucket full of liquid jello? And bright red? I'm never gonna get this stuff out of my hair!"

"Have a good shift Johnny boy," he said calmly and hung up the phone with a giant smile on his face.

"Just try to stay out of trouble okay? You don't have to live up to the day you know."

Johnny scoffed at Dixie. "This isn't my fault."

She cleaned up the cut on his hand and put a bandage on it. "Just don't come see us again today. Chet's driving the nurse's insane so why don't you stop by and see him before you go."

Sliding down from the table he grabbed his jacket and mumbled a thank you. Dixie chuckled and shrugged at Roy. "Make him behave today will ya?"

"He's not even the one causing all the chaos today."

She looked puzzled as they disappeared out the door.

Roy knocked on the door then let them in. Chet was sitting up in the chair and picking at his lunch. He looked up but didn't seem to be himself at all.

"How's lunch?" Roy asked as he pulled up a chair.

He put the fork down. "Hospital food, whadda expect?" Seeing Johnny's hurt hand a look of worry passed this face. "What happened to you?"

Johnny waved him off. "No biggie, just a cut where we had to get a kid out of a tree. So you getting out of here soon?"

"They won't let me go until tomorrow even if I do protest," his voice was frustrated.

The radio beeped and Roy stood up ready for the next call. "Hang in there pally. We'll check on you tomorrow."

Chet hung his head down at the prospect of being stuck there any longer. "Okay."

Johnny headed out while Roy paused at the door. He leaned in. "Chet?"

The lineman looked up. "Yea?"

Roy put on a serious face. "Mike told me to let you know that you owed him two dozen eggs and Marco is plenty upset over the omelet in his pants. We don't know how you're doing it pally, but try and get some rest so we can?"

Chet broke out into a big mischievous smile and Roy was sure he saw a twinkle in his Phantom eyes. When he was alone again in the room he picked up his fork and dug into lunch.

Hank sat down at his desk and proceeded to finish up the occurrence paperwork that had managed to clutter his desk up. Never did he like seeing his men get hurt on the job. When his pen ran dry he pulled out the drawer to get another and heard the click.

Chet picked up the remote and searched for his favorite afternoon show. The only part was he forgot how few channels the hospital had so with defeat he tossed the remote onto the tray table only to watch it slid right off and onto the floor.

"UGHH!"

"Taking it out on the remote now?"

He looked up to see Dixie enter the room. "Sorry, just tired of being stuck here."

She picked up the remote and handed it back to him.

"Thanks Dix."

"You seem really down about all this. The shoulder's not bad you know, you'll be back at work soon."

"Not soon enough."

She nodded. "It's this day isn't it?"

He shrugged. "Kinda."

She patted his arm. "Maybe this message will help." She passed him a piece of paper.

Kelly, stop by the station on your way home tomorrow so you can sign the accident paperwork.
The guys are missing you around the station today, but apparently not the Phantom. Don't know
how you're pulling this off but you owe me a dry cleaning bill pally. Thanks for the squid ink.
You're Ink Covered Captain

"Should I be afraid of that grin on your face?"

He folded up the piece of paper. "Nah. I'm harmless remember?" He pointed to his taped up shoulder.

She eyed him closely. "I plead the 5th on that one."

Mike putzed around the kitchen working on dinner while the others completed chores. The day had been nonstop runs between the engine and the squad and the men wanted to be all finished by dinner so they could crash early.

"What's for dinner?" Marco asked as he put a new bag in the trash can.

"Just spaghetti, no time for anything else today."

Johnny wandered into the room. "No complaints here, smells great."

"Set the table and it'll be ready in just a few."

With his chores completed he didn't mind helping get dinner on the table a bit faster. He was starving. Silverware was pulled first and laid out then he opened up the cabinet door for plate. When the rubber band broke his first instinct was to duck.

Dinner hospital food wasn't much better than lunch. Still Chet was hungry and decided to clean his plate and dig into dessert. The day had been long and boring with only brief glimpses of how the station day was going. It was annoying in the least, to not be there and enjoy all that the Phantom had planned.

"Chet," he said as he answered the phone.

"Was dinner good?" Johnny asked casually.

"It was okay. I'd rather have Mike's spaghetti though. How has the day gone?"

"Busy, lots of calls. Markinson filled in for you today and says you owe him a steak dinner this weekend."

Chet laughed. "He can dream on. He owes me for covering for him when his wife went into labor. Anything else interesting happening?"

Johnny paused on the other end.

"Johnny?"

"I'm here. Well, now that you ask. Mike didn't appreciate the itching powder in his helmet. The last two calls the poor people thought he must have lice and Marco is still cussing your name for putting saran wrap on all the toilets."

Chet was having a hard time holding it in. "And?"

"And, yes, while I'm at it. Sneezing powder in the cupboard? Really, Chet? Are you ever going to grow up?"

"Why Johnny boy, I have no idea what you're talking about. I've been here laid up remember?"

"Yea, yea. I'll believe that when this phone I'm on becomes obsolete."

"The Phantom knows no bounds Johnny. You should know that by now."

"Oh I know, trust me I know."

In the background Chet heard one of them scream. "What was that?"

Johnny paused for a minute. "Chet, you might want to stay a few more days in the hospital."

"Why, what happened?"

Johnny yelled outside the phone. "Marco, will you go turn back on the hot water heater for Roy?"

Chet snickered.

"Laugh it up Chester B. Payback is hell you know." Click.

Chet leaned back into the bed and savored the joy of the day. A perfect plan had come together even when he wasn't there. The Phantom had done well even without being there to relish in the pleasure of it all. Oh, Karma would try to strike, but the Phantom was better than that.

Goodnight fellow 51's, he thought out loud. Sleep well, if you can. The grin of utter satisfaction rested easily on his face for a long time.

"Morning Cap," Roy said as he poured some coffee.

"Roy," Hank replied trying to wake his brain up.

"I'm so glad this shift is over," Johnny whined.

Mike put the paper down and patted Henry. "Who's picking up Chet today?"

Johnny raised his cup in the air. "That would be me."

"You gonna tell?" Marco asked.

Johnny smiled. "What? And burst his little Phantom bubble?" He pulled out a large cardboard box with all of Chet's discovered tricks safely tucked away. "Besides, if he ever found out that we pulled all these before they went off then he would just spend another week getting payback."

Walking over to the trash can he dumped the contents inside. "What he never finds out won't hurt him and I guess it's the least he deserved being laid up on his favorite holiday."

"I just hope he appreciates the day he missed."