Disclaimer/authoress notes (A/N): I no own, you no sue! TT'! If I did own, It would ALL be yaoi/ shonen-ai
A/N: Please go a little easy, this is my first fic that I posted up, I was going to put down two others, but my computer crashed and I lost all my info.
There will be many POV's and sometimes it will be in the third person.
Rating: M for violence, blood, angst, adult themes, and lots of cursing.
Pairings: main: RxE, DMxHP; side: RonxHermione
This is a HP and FMA crossover. It WILL contain yaoi and some shonen-ai fluff! IF you DON'T like this, then DON'T read.
Full Summary: Al's killed by the homunculi (sry Al fans), Ed is trying to cope and to for protection, is sent to Hogwarts. While there, he will learn magic. The rest of the military gang will join him there for extra protection and Roy will teach Alchemy. This story takes place during Harry's fifth year.
Life's Worth? PrologueI gaze lazily out of the clear windows of the compartment that I was in. It was raining. Ha, I thought to myself. Outside the train were stormy grey clouds and fast pelting rain.
"…..so, try to keep who we are under wraps. Do you comprehend Fullmetal? Fullmetal?"
"Hmm?" I turned around to stare listlessly at my commanding officer, Roy Mustang, otherwise known as the flame alchemist.
He sighed. "I said, that we are to keep our positions as state alchemists a secret except to the teachers."
Hn was my response as I turned my attention back to gaze out of the window.
He gave me a concerned look and continued despite my lack of response. "Edward, I'm sorry." And with that, the room fell into a semi-comfortable silent. That is, until the compartment door flung open…
"I'm terribly sorry, but can we sit here, all of the other compartments are full," said a bushy haired brunette. Behind her were two boys; one had wild black hair and a lightning shaped scar on his head, who the girl, Hermione Granger introduced as Harry Potter and the other with flaming red hair and freckles, was Ron Weasley.
I just give them a nonchalant glance and turn my attention once more to the ever increasingly interesting window. Mustang on the other hand smiled and welcomed them in before he too fell silent.
Well, what do you know it's raining outside, again.
About five minutes had passed before the silence was broken.
"Um, I don't believe we've seen you around before, are you a new first year?" The girl, Hermione I think her name was asked.
I grunted and mumbled a quick "no." Mustang then explained that I was to be a foreign exchange student from Amestris, while he was to be the assistant Defense Against the Dark Arts (a.k.a. the DADA) teacher. He further explained that I would be placed along with the fifth year students.
As he went into a discussion with Hermione, Harry and Ron, I tuned them out and reminisced back to how this all began….
Flashback
Though my brother, Al and I had just gotten his body back, I still had my automail. We were on our way back to HQ to make a routine report, when Envy and Wrath attacked us from out of nowhere. They ignored Al and tried to stab me from two different sides. I tried to dodge, but Envy came up from behind me, and I couldn't get out of the way in time. When Al realized what was happening, he ran in front of me at the last second. "AL NO!" I shouted as Envy pulled his arm out of Al's dead body and, using his spinning momentum, he was about to strike at me with a fatal blow, when a shot was fired in his direction, grazing his arm. He looked up in time to see Hawkeye, Mustang, several other soldiers rushing to my aid. "Damn, let's get out of here for now Wrath. We'll finish off the pipsqueak later." At Envy's words, they both fled.
Mustang rushed quickly
to my side. As tears ran slowly down my pale, tear-stained cheeks, I
was completely numb. My mind hadn't registered anything. Finally,
with my last remaining ounce of strength
I breathed two words,
"He's gone." Then the world went black.
Meanwhile Mustang had finished his discussion with the other members of our compartment and was thinking back to the very same day….
Mustang's P.O.V.
I rushed over over to Ed to see if he was all right. He appeared to be completely dumbstruck and it looked as if words had failed him, since he couldn't seem to speak.
Right before he hit the ground, I caught him as he collapsed….
Mustang was brought out of his musings as a lady with a trolly full of weird foods came to our compartment and asked if anyone wanted anything.
Ed's P.O.V.
However, I was pulled straight back into my thoughts….
A few days after the incident, I lay back down on my bed as that night's events played through my mind over and over again.
I couldn't take it anymore! I just had the sudden urge to do it again. I knew I would resort back to my old habit sooner or later. I needed it so badly right at that point. I chuckled bitterly as I reached for it now while remembering the phrase, "old/bad habits die hard." I took the blade in my right hand and dragged its' cold steel across my left arm. I hissed at the pain it brought and watched in morbid fascination as the blood slowly formed, then burst forth and flowed freely down my left arm. I sighed in content as the still warm blood started to seep out a little bit faster.
As a small pool of blood forms, I think back to when I first started. I think it was right after my mother died. I'm not sure when I stopped exactly, and I'm also not really sure when I started it up again, but it just… sort of … happened.
The next day, I had to fill out my report, but I remained silent the whole day, even when Mustang made a comment about my height. Like when I walked into Roy's office, Mustang didn't even glance at me. After waiting for about two minutes, I became impatient and so I spoke up. "Oi, Colonel Bastard, what the hell did you want me for?" Roy feigned a look of surprise, and said, "Oh, sorry Fullmetal. I couldn't see you over this small stack of papers on my desk." He was expecting one of my usual rants such as, "WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SMALL THAT YOU COULDN'T SEE EVEN WITH THE WORLD'S LARGEST MICROSCOPE! However, when I didn't attempt to make a retort, Roy's smirk was quickly replaced with one of worry. I then turned around to leave Mustang's office, and barely missed the shocked and worried look on Roy's face. Roy had noticed the differences in my new behavior and my drooping demeanor, but I left before he could say anything. I didn't want his pity. After I took Roy's reaction into consideration, I decided to keep my emotions under wraps. Looks like it's back to my mask again. No one noticed the slight changes in me other than Mustang on that first day. I made sure to maintain a blank expression in my eyes, but there were no other real differences other than this. When I left, I pulled on a smile whenever I passed by any military officials on the way to my small apartment. When I returned to my apartment, I went back to bed and fell asleep, ignoring the rumbling in my stomach. I decided that I would eat later.
8 hours later
I awoke and decided I should eat something, and even though I just didn't feel like it, I got up to prepare something anyway. I took out a cutting board, some vegetables, and a cutting knife. I wasn't paying attention as I was cutting up the food, and accidentally cut myself. Yelping in surprise, I looked down at my bleeding hand. I smiled grimly as old memories of cutting. After my two minutes of recollecting, I went to the bathroom to clean out the cut on my hand. As I bandaged I glanced at my wrist, which was in plain sight without my red coat and gloves. Scars of every size and shape were now clearly visible. There was no definite pattern, just mismatched and misshapen. I also remember the words that I had etched into my left arm; I remember the amount of blood, too. The words, even now haven't faded; they would forever remain etched into my skin, just as my horrible past is etched permanently into my mind. No matter what I do, I can never escape my past, but with my blades, at least I can prolong them from resurfacing. After I finished bandaging the wound, I went back to the kitchen to eat. However, once I had finished the meal, my stomach didn't feel like ingesting the food, and before I realized what was happening, I was rushing back to the bathroom. I couldn't contain the food as it churned precariously around in my stomach, and soon enough, I was heaving up everything that I had eaten. I was astonished how much better I felt once I emptied all of the contents of my stomach.
"Hmm, maybe I should try this too, along with cutting, every time that the pain was too much since it seems to work."
I went back to bed and into a restless nightmare
"Al! Al, you're here!" I cried happily as I saw Al, but Al turned to me and glared. "It's all your fault, brother. It's all your fault that I'm dead. You killed me!" "No Al, I didn't." I tried to reason back, "It was the homunculi." "No brother, it was you!" Al accused me again. "I hate you brother! You should have been the one to die, not me and it's your fault that I even lost my body in the first place!"
"No!" I shouted back as Al's form disappeared and I awoke drenched in cold sweat. I felt miserable and hungry. The ever-increasing need to rid myself of this nightmare build up within me. No, it wasn't a nightmare, it was worse; it was the truth! I wanted to fill up this emptiness, these desolate feelings and waves of guilt. So, I went to the kitchen, and made myself some food. 10 minutes later, the food was gone and I was flushing the now, vomit-filled toilet. I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep again that night. I still felt an overwhelming twinge of guilt and emptiness. I didn't really want to live anymore anyway. Hell, it isn't like anyone would care if I'm gone. I'm just a stupid pawn to the military anyway. Then realization hit me. I could end it so easily! All it too was one swift and deep slash, and a tiny bit of pain. However, I didn't want to take any risks; I wanted to make sure that my decision wouldn't be just an attempt, but actually work successfully to end it all. So, I gripped onto my beautiful, sharp knife. I took a few moments to revel in its' cool, sharp touch against my warm skin, then in one swift movement, severed my left wrist. Once I was done, I gave it a few more slices over the same spot for extra measure. Then, I took out some(4 pain killers) and downed them all in one gulp. I also took some alcohol and downed that as well. I knew now that I was sure to die, because no one would bother to come over. I mean, what reason would they have to anyway? I hissed at the pain when I moved, but then relaxed as the blood flowed out and down my arm and I started to lose all feeling as my body became numb. All feelings of guilt washed away along with all other thoughts. I started to feel extremely lightheaded, and vaguely remember hearing someone shout my name. I remember no more as the world blackens….
I come out of my dark musings as someone taps me on the shoulder. I jump and turn around. A lady with a trolly full of food looks at me expectingly, however when she received no reply, she asked, "anything off the trolly, dear?" I shook my head, but before I could revert my attention back to the outside background, I am pulled into a conversation with the strangers from earlier…
Roy's P.O.V.
I watched Fullmetal try to avoid all forms of conversations, but it was no use. I glanced at him sadly before my recent memories resurface once more….
"Fullmetal? Are you home? I just stopped by to check up on how you were do-"
My words were cut off as I rushed over to Ed. He was bleeding profusely from his left arm. My first thoughts were that he was attacked, but then I noticed the bloody knife in his other hand.
"Edward!" I shouted, running towards him. He looked up at me for a second, while his eyes started to glaze over. I catch him as he collapses. I react quickly and rip off a piece of my shirt, which I used to try to stem the blood flow. Once that I was satisfied, I reached for his phone and called an ambulance. Needless to say, he was NOT happy that I had found out, or even stopped him.
I waited in Ed's room until he woke up.
"Mmh, where am I?" He got up to take a better look at his surroundings until he spotted me. His face took on a look of horror, then it was quickly replaced with anger. "Why! Why did you stop me? I was so close." His face looked strained, with tears bubbling just beneath the surface of his eyes.
I sighed. "I didn't want you to die," was my blunt reply.
He looked down, shamefacedly. "I still don't understand…." his voice faded.
I didn't want to admit it at first, but I had certain feeling for Ed, yet with what had almost happened, I didn't want it to happen again. So, I took a deep breath, my face completely serious, and said truthfully to him "I didn't want you to die because…I…love…you" I ended lamely.
He stared at me and suddenly broke down in my arms. For half an hour he just cried on me, but I didn't mind. Finally, when all his crying subsided, he said, "I…love…you…too" with a small blush crossing his face. "I've loved you for a long time, but I didn't think that you thought the same way about me," he continued to mumble. I held him close and he yawned. "What's going to happen to me?"
"You were out for two days, and are free to leave tomorrow." I answered.
He looked surprised. "Huh? I'm not in trouble?"
"You are not in trouble officially, but you are most certainly in trouble with me."
He gulped and sweatdropped. Finally, he stated a small, "I'm sorry."
I told him that as punishment that he would see me every morning at 9:00 a.m. to discuss whatever is on his mind and as a checkup. He also couldn't leave my sight. He gave another yawn as he nodded his agreement to the terms.
I smiled at his cute expression and got up to leave. "You should better get some sleep." He nodded his affirmation and promptly fell into a blissful sleep.
The next day, at 9:00 sharp, I had a closed file on my desk as Ed came in, dressed in his usual attire.
"Ah, good morning Fullmetal," I greeted him. He nodded his head slightly before sitting down on one of my couches. "Do you wish to discuss anything with me today?" He shook his head. I let out a sigh. "Well there is a mission that I have for you. It will take about a year, but I think that we can handle it." Ed shot me a confused look. I shoved him the file and a sealed letter, which he scanned. We were going to go to a school in England called Hogwarts. I was invited to teach as the position of assistant teacher of Defense Against the Dark Arts, or DADA. Ed was invited to go to the school as a student exchange student into the 5th year.
When he finished, he motioned that he understood the assignment. We both stood up and left our separate ways to go pack.
A/N: Well what did you think? Good? It sucked? Please R/R! All flames will be used to burn schoolbooks. !
P.S. All suggestions for improvement are welcome. And a special thanks to one of my beta's, Vera-san (a.k.a. Palm tree head). Another special thanks to Neko-san who is my other beta!
Me: (sob sob) thanks so much you guys! It really means a lot to me that you would take the time to help me beta my first fic for me! (Gives them both plushies and cookies)
Neko-san: You're welcome shorty.
Vera-san: Yeah, you're an even shorter pipsqueak than Ed.
Me: (angry death glare) WHO ARE YOU CALLING A SUPER, MEGA, HYPER CHIBI! (chases around with a katana and snapping fingers (wearing Roy's gloves)) "GET BACK HERE YOU KUSO BAKA NEKO-CHAN AND YOU BAKA PALM TREE HEAD!
All: Please R/R!
Whoo hoo, 2,634 words, just counting the story!!
2,953 words, counting everything!!