Author's Note: First of all, I want to thank everyone for the amazing response. It's been a long while since I've written anything that wasn't academic or work related, so I was afraid I'd forgotten how to write creatively (which is what I went to school for in the first place, ironically enough). But you guys have been super encouraging and supportive and I feel more inspired now than I have in a very long time. This is the sequel to "Half Life," so if you haven't read it, I suggest checking it out first. It isn't entirely necessary, since I'd characterize Half Life as being more comprised of character development than actual plot, but it'll provide you with some insight into the characters' mindsets coming into this. I'm looking at about five or six chapters right now, possibly a couple more depending on how long I make each chapter. Once again, all comments and criticisms are welcome; I love hearing what you guys think, so let me know! :)
She awakened to another coughing fit, a ritual which had become all too familiar to her in the past month. Reaching over to the bedside table, she grabbed a tissue to catch the splatters of blood as they were forcefully expelled from her mouth. She struggled for a moment to catch her breath and fight the tickle in her chest, and that's when she heard a shuffling coming from the living room.
"I'm fine!" she shouted, finally regaining control.
The right side of the bed was empty and had been for quite some time, judging by the lack of warmth. The sheets were still disheveled, the groove of a head still indented in the pillow; proof that someone had been sleeping uneasily just hours before.
"Are you certain?" a voice called back.
She threw her feet over the edge of the bed, forfeiting its warmth as she slowly rose. She slipped her glasses on and grabbed a black, oversized sweater off the floor and pulled it on over her head before journeying into the other room. Much like her early morning coughing ritual, seeing the blonde hunched over her laptop with papers splayed all across the table had become another regular occurrence.
"Good morning," she mumbled, her voice raspy.
Her lover looked up from her laptop, offering a small smile of acknowledgement before dipping her head back down to continue with her work. Unpleased with the response, the brunette stalked over to the blonde, stopping behind her. She reached forward, grasping the woman's head and forcing it back gently to plant a soft, upside down kiss upon her lips.
"I said 'good morning,' " she whispered against her lips.
"Bonjour."
She released the French woman's head, giving her the freedom to return to the task at hand. Instead, she watched the brunette disappear into the kitchen with a lazy smile on her face, admiring the curve of her ass as it just barely dipped out from beneath the large sweater.
"I'm gonna put some coffee on," the spectacled girl proclaimed, digging in the cupboard for the almost empty tin of coffee.
She paused when she felt warm arms slide around her waist and a kiss press against her cheek, eliciting a smile.
"Sorry. I'm just trying to-"
"I know, I know. You don't have to explain. I should be thanking you."
She knew the reason why her monitor had been so distracted and had been sleeping so little these last few weeks was because of her. She had been working around the clock, scouring every corner of the Internet, analyzing every molecule of her DNA, all to try to find some sort of answer to her ailment.
"Cosima."
"Hm?"
She turned the shorter girl around so that they were facing each other. No words were exchanged, only understanding smiles. She leaned forward and pressed her lips against the clone's in a slow, tantalizing kiss.
"How are you feeling this morning?" she asked upon pulling away, tenderly stroking the side of the brunette's face.
Cosima kissed her palm before turning around and focusing her attention back on making coffee, grabbing a spoon from the drawer and a new filter from the packet on the counter.
"Meh. Not any worse than yesterday. Not any better," Cosima responded, pouring a few spoonfuls of coffee into the filter.
She filled the appliance with water then pressed the "on" button, watching as a slow, dark drip descended into the pot. A smirk spread across her face and she laughed absentmindedly, causing the blonde to cock her head in wonder.
"Qu'est-ce que c'est?"
"Nothing," she shook her head, turning back around to wrap her arms around Delphine's neck. "I just think it's funny, how domestic we've become."
Just a month ago, they were on huddled together on Felix's couch decoding her genome. Now they were living together. Some might have thought that seemed strange and fast, which it probably was, but it wasn't as if either of them really had a say in the matter. After joining DYAD, the institute put her up in a swanky apartment in the west end, monitor included. It was decided that it was dangerous to live alone with her condition; the chance of complications arising from her illness were too real, so it was Leekie who suggested that Delphine move in, as well, so that she could monitor the clone's condition and be there in case of emergency. Neither of them had really protested. The apartment was more than big enough for two and while they both spent a vast majority of their time at the institute, as Cosima's breaths grew shorter and energy grew scarcer, they both found themselves adjusting to their newfound home life. When the days became too long for the brunette, the blonde would take her home, as well as her research, and they would continue as best they could from the comfort of their living room.
"Is that such a bad thing?"
"No, no, no. Not at all. I just... well, I didn't expect it, that's all."
Her fingers toyed with the neckline of Delphine's robe and her eyes drifted south. The creme-colored satin was tied very loosely at the waist, allowing for the front to dip open, revealing what seemed like miles and miles of chest and cleavage to the brunette's eager eyes. She licked her lips, unaware of her own leering, which only evoked a smirk from the French woman.
"See something you like?"
"Obvs."
Her hands abandoned Delphine's neck, slowly reaching for the tie of her robe.
"Uh, uh, uh," she scolded, grabbing the girl's wandering hands and bringing them back up so that they wrapped around her neck again. "We have a long day ahead of us. We can't be late."
She pressed a light kiss to Cosima's jawline and the dreadlocked girl groaned, slouching in defeat and shuffling out of the kitchen. Delphine just chucked lightly, watching her disappear back into their bedroom.
"You know," she hollered from out of sight. "We don't even know if this treatment is working. I don't feel any change at all."
"Yes, but we won't know for certain unless we give it a chance, which means following through with each round," Delphine retorted, reaching into another cupboard to grab two mugs.
Today was round three, which meant another round of blood work, vaccines, scans, and an all around long day stuck in a laboratory. She knew how weary Cosima felt about all of this, but she didn't have much of a choice. So far, their own research into her illness was coming up empty. They were no closer to figuring it out than when they started. Delphine wouldn't admit this, of course, but she could tell that Cosima was slowly starting to lose faith, which only motivated her further.
"Great. I get to be poked and prodded some more today," Cosima said, re-emerging from the bedroom with her laptop and a stack of papers, which she piled next to the blonde's own work station on the table. "As if I didn't feel like enough of a lab rat already."
Delphine frowned, growing solemn.
"I'm sorry, mon amour. I wish there was something more I could-"
"Don't," Cosima interrupted, shooting a look of warning in the French woman's direction.
Cosima was very much aware of the blonde's tendency to blame herself for the current situation. She believed that as a scientist, she was supposed to have all the answers and as a lover, she was supposed to be able to make her partner feel better. She felt as though she was failing on both accounts and she punished herself by hardly eating or sleeping, abandoning the warmth of their bed in the early hours of the morning to work fastidiously in a zombie-like trance, and conversing regularly with Leekie, a man that she not only distrusted at this point, but was quickly coming to despise. Any illusions that once surrounded the doctor were completely shattered now and she felt like the world's biggest fool for ever having let him seduce and use her.
"I'm going to see if Jennifer's up for talking today."
The shorter girl's words caught her off guard and she perked up her head, glancing in Cosima's direction for a moment while pouring a cup of freshly brewed coffee for each of them, black for herself and two sugars for her lover; yet another ritual they both knew all too well.
"We've already reviewed her case many times. I don't know what else she could tell us that would help," Delphine mentioned, approaching Cosima and handing her a mug.
"Yeah, I know that. I'm not talking about the case, though."
Delphine's brow furrowed in confusion as she took a sip of much needed caffeine.
"She must be so scared," Cosima clarified. "And lonely. She's in bed all day with doctors poking at her. She probably doesn't even feel like a human being anymore. I know I'd want someone to talk to me like a person, not like some sick, dying victim. I'd want a friend."
It had been extremely hard to watch one of her sisters slowly degenerate. She didn't know Jennifer like she knew Sarah or Alison or like she had known Beth, but they were still intrinsically linked. Not only that, but Jennifer was a genuinely sweet girl, someone who didn't deserve the hand she was dealt in life. Doctor Leekie had given her access to Jennifer's video diaries and after watching them all, Cosima couldn't shake the nauseous feeling in her stomach. Then she met Jennifer, who could barely eat or speak and was a shell of the once lively teacher Cosima had originally come to know through the diaries. Upon leaving her hospital room for the first time, Cosima had dashed down the hallway and thrown her head into the trash bin so she could empty the contents of her stomach while Delphine just watched sympathetically. The doctor had the good sense not to ask if it was a symptom of her condition, for she knew her lover all too well at this point; the nausea came from fear, from the promise of a bleak and painful future, not from the disease itself.
"You're too sweet," Delphine smiled, stealing yet another kiss.
Cosima grabbed Delphine's mug, placing it on the table along with her own, then reached for the tie on Delphine's robe for the second time, gently tugging it open.
"What are you doing?" the blonde giggled and weakly protested. "I told you, we can't be late."
"Whatever," Cosima replied, pushing the robe from Delphine's shoulders.
The garment fell to the ground, leaving the French woman completely exposed. In an attempt to get even, Delphine reached for the hem of Cosima's sweater, easily pulling it over her head and tossing it on the sofa. Cosima grabbed her hand, leading her to the bathroom.
"We won't be long. Just a shower, that's all."
"Yes, but as I recall, there is no "just a shower" with you, ma cherie."
"Damn it. Looks like you're on to me," Cosima beamed. "Guess I'll have to come up with a new tactic."
"Dead?"
The word struck her like a freight train at full speed, knocking what little wind her lungs seemed to be able to hold these days.
"Yes. She passed during the night."
Passed.
As if she was slipping between membranes, permeable. As if she had floated from one plain to the next. Jennifer hadn't "passed" anywhere. Her lungs had filled with blood and puss, drowning her from the inside. They told her that they had given her drugs for the pain, to numb her senses as she fazed out, but Cosima was certain that Jennifer was still very aware of every inch of life as it left her body.
"I'm so sorry, ma cherie."
Cosima was a wild mix of emotions; a splash of grief, a pinch of regret, a pang of fear. Her skin became cold and clammy and Delphine wrapped an arm around her shoulder, giving the doctor a nod in understanding as she ushered the brunette down the hallway.
"We must go meet with Doctor Leekie. We're already late," Delphine explained.
"I-I know. I just..."
She wasn't sure how she was supposed to react. Her instinct was to be upset, but she knew she had to keep a level head now more so than ever, so she swallowed the lump in her throat and allowed Delphine to guide her to their destination. When they got to the lab, they could spy Leekie through the glass, shuffling through a pile of papers. Delphine offered Cosima a supportive smile and they both walked through the threshold.
"Running a little late today, ladies?" he asked, looking up from his paperwork.
"Sorry," Delphine apologized, bowing her head ever-so-slightly. "Cosima insisted we visit Jennifer first."
"Oh. I see. Then you know."
"Yeah," Cosima mumbled.
She made her way across the room, dropping unenthusiastically into the chair across from Leekie and removing her coat. He slid his papers away and out of sight, collecting the necessary tools to proceed with the first round: blood work. Delphine stalked over, standing next to Cosima for support, causing Leekie to look up from preparing his station.
"Doctor Cormier, why don't you go check in with Doctor Markovich? He was going to head the autopsy on Jennifer, but I figured you would want to be part of it," Leekie suggested.
"Right now?" Delphine asked. "Isn't it... kind of soon?"
"Come now. You of all people should understand the tight schedule we're on. The sooner we open her up and take a look, the sooner we'll know more. We might learn something new."
The way Leekie spoke of Jennifer's still-warm corpse sent a wave of nausea through Cosima. She wondered if that's how he would speak of her, when- if- she fell victim to this illness. Would she be just another specimen, waiting to be pulled apart and analyzed so these megalomaniacs could understand where they had went wrong? Would Delphine be there, watching as Leekie disassembled her? Would the blonde then finally be able to see herself- her name, plain as day- written on her innards? Would she understand then?
"If Doctor Markovich needs me, he can come and get me," Delphine responded curtly.
It didn't take three scientists in the room to sense the tension and uneasiness that lingered in the air. Since Cosima had first come to DYAD, Delphine hadn't missed a single round of treatment, blood work or tests. She was there the entire time, holding the brunette's hand as she winced in pain while each test became slightly more invasive. It wasn't only about support, though. Delphine didn't trust the other doctors involved in the case. They all answered to Leekie, whom she knew was capable of lying if it suited his interests. She had this fear in the pit of her stomach that if she left her lover alone with him, she may never see her again. Maybe it was foolish, but her instincts screamed for her to keep Cosima close.
"Afraid to leave me alone with her?" he joked, a smile slithering across his face. "I won't bite, I promise. And I'm quite gentle with a needle. Right, Cosima?"
Neither of the women bought into his charming facade, grimacing at his attempt at humor. Cosima shifted uncomfortably in her seat and Delphine crossed her arms, leaning against the table as she watched Leekie assemble the necessary tools. As if on cue, a gentle knocking pierced the silence in the room and an older, balding man in a lab coat was standing in the doorway.
"Ah, Doctor Markovich. Good morning," Leekie said cheerfully.
Cosima rolled her eyes and Delphine stood up a little straighter.
"Good morning, Doctor Leekie. I'm sorry to interrupt, but I'm here for Doctor Cormier," he replied, turning toward Delphine. "I was told to come and get you when we were ready. You might want to come and take a look."
The two women looked to each other, the blonde searching for the appropriate response. Cosima simply nodded, indicating that she would be fine without her monitor there to hold her hand, as uncomfortable as it made her to be alone with Leekie.
"D'accord," Delphine conceded.
She leaned down, giving Cosima a quick peck on the lips as Leekie silently observed.
"I'll see you later," the blonde said in her soft voice before she disappeared with Doctor Markovich.
There was a momentary silence between Cosima and Leekie as he tied a tourniquet around her arm, his fingers grazing her skin and causing her to squirm yet again. He found a vein, then swabbed it with alcohol. A second later, he inserted the needle and began to draw blood.
"Any worsening symptoms?" he asked.
Cosima shook her head.
"Still just coughing up blood then. No puss?"
"Not yet," Cosima mumbled.
"And how about your energy levels?" Leekie asked, as he finished filling the last vial of blood.
"I'm more drained than usual, but I still manage."
"I see."
He untied the tourniquet, tossing it into the garbage bin next to them along with the needle, then pressed a cotton ball to the entry point and taped it to her skin to cover it. He reached for a new syringe, as well as a vial of clear liquid.
"This treatment... it may sap your strength quite a bit," he explained, drawing the unknown liquid into the dropper.
"I know, I know. We've been over this."
"I'm just making sure you understand the side effects. The risks."
He held the syringe up to inspect it more closely, flicking the dropper a few times to get rid of any air bubbles that may have formed. Satisfied, he made eye contact with Cosima to confirm that she was ready. When she nodded, he inserted it into her arm and she winced, clamping her eyes shut as she felt heat shooting into her.
"All done. Not so bad, right?"
She released a breath she wasn't even aware she was holding and Leekie offered her another reptilian smile, patting her on the shoulder as he stood up and walked to the other side of the room. He shuffled through a pile of papers, collecting them in a neat stack while Cosima slipped her red coat back on. She was ready to head off to the next phase of testing, which entailed a few of hours cooped up in what felt like a tiny capsule as machines scanned her entire body. This was quite possibly the worst part of the entire ordeal; never had she felt so small or exposed as when she was trapped in what felt like a coffin full of bright lights and horrible noises. She had never been claustrophobic before, but this was very different. As she headed toward the door, Leekie's voice stopped her.
"I trust Delphine has been taking good care of you?" he asked with a hint of suggestion.
Cosima whipped around so fast, she could already feel the whiplash start to settle. She hadn't liked the tone of his voice and it lit a small fire inside of her. He quickly picked up on her change in demeanor and it was as if he was aiming for it all along.
"She has a very caring touch, doesn't she?"
Her skin crawled.
She crossed her arms over her chest, assuming a defensive stance. She knew exactly what Leekie was trying to do, only she wasn't exactly sure of his motivation behind it. Why was he trying to cause a rift between her and Delphine now when he was the one who had initially pushed them together?
"Oh. Sorry, that's right. No personal questions."
It was a boundary she had established the second she, Rachel and Leekie went over her terms for joining DYAD. She would work with them, studying her own biology as well as the other clones, but she wouldn't answer any of their questions outside of the science. She could tell Rachel was displeased, as she was trying to learn everything she could about Sarah, but Leekie ultimately agreed to keep their relationship strictly professional, strictly scientific.
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Cosima finally snapped.
Leekie waved his hand in dismissal.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. I was just making an observation, that's all."
"And what observation would that be?"
The gloves were off now and Leekie hadn't been expecting quite the level of sass he was receiving from the dreadlocked woman. He knew she had a feisty side, he had observed it numerous times, but she had never been quite as overt about it; her cheekiness was usually coated in subtlety, with a toothy grin or shrug of her shoulders which one might mistake as playfulness. There was nothing playful in Cosima's demeanor now and the doctor made note of how easily he had managed to strike such an important nerve.
"Delphine's always been very involved in her work, ever since I met her," he began to explain. "It's not a bad thing. In fact, that's why I invited her to work here at DYAD. Although sometimes... well, I think it's the science she's really in love with. That's what draws her to-"
"I'm not "her work," Doctor Leekie."
Her voice was low and guttural, laced with warning and contempt.
"Aren't you?"
Her instinct was to strike him in the mouth, to lunge at him from across the room, and she suddenly had a brand new understanding and appreciation for Sarah. Before she could act on her fantasy, Leekie quickly vacated the room, leaving her alone to stew in her anger. She stood there, balled fists at her side, staring intensely at the ground.
Why was she so upset?
Why had what Leekie said effected her so much?
Now she understood why Delphine was so reluctant to leave her alone with him. She knew he would do just this, that he would probe her until he found what made her tick. Or was the blonde simply afraid that he would reveal her secret? Cosima had her suspicions about the nature of her girlfriend's relationship with Leekie, but she didn't really think it was her place to ask, nor did she really feel like having a conversation she thought would make her sick. While she wasn't pleased to have her suspicions confirmed, it was something else he had said that really tormented her.
"I think it's the science she's really in love with."
She didn't want to believe it, but the more Leekie's tiny kernel of turmoil began to imbed itself in her brain, the more she began to really consider it. Would she and Delphine be involved at all if it hadn't been for the science? Forget about the monitor situation. Despite the fact that the French woman was tasked to observe her, would she have "fallen," as she claimed, if Cosima hadn't been such an important specimen?
"I didn't want to fall for you. I wasn't supposed to."
What scientist in their right mind would want to fall for their subject? Not only was it immoral, it jeopardized the results of three decades of what Cosima could only assume was very carefully collected, very sensitive data. It almost made all of Delphine's hard work completely obsolete. So why would she do it? Why would she throw away everything she had been working towards? Cosima liked to think she knew her lover well.
The science was her life.
It was her reason for breathing, it was everything she ever wanted for as long as she could remember. There was no reason why she would throw that all away just for some geek girl with a respiratory disease, probably doomed to an early death anyway.
It didn't make any sense.
"But I have."
"Really?"
Delphine released an exasperated sigh as she somberly drifted down the long, white corridor. The day had passed quickly, she had spent the better part of it performing Jennifer's autopsy, taking samples, then testing and conferring with the other doctors in an attempt to learn something. She was exhausted and all she wanted to do was find Cosima in their lab and take her home. She'd been working so hard lately, all she needed was just a couple of hours not staring desperately through a microscope, scrounging for answers. She just wanted her girlfriend and the comfort of their bed, away from all this madness.
She could feel her own heaviness begin to build, gravity pressing down on her and holding her in position. Her chest began to heave and she leaned against a white wall for support as she finally succumbed to the exhaustion, allowing the tears to flow freely. She'd been holding them in for so long, they punished her by scorching her skin as they trailed down the contours of her face. She didn't want to let Cosima see her cry. She needed to be strong for the both of them, for if the brunette saw her own hopelessness and despair, then she'd know how futile this quest to save her life really was. She couldn't watch Cosima break like that. The clone was already slowly beginning to fade, she had to do everything she could to keep her spirits up.
She hadn't anticipated just how difficult Jennifer's autopsy would be for her, but it had taken everything she had not to break down into sobs in front of her coworkers as she carved into the body.
All she could see was Cosima.
Cosima's pale, lifeless face as she removed the organs, one by one. She'd held Jennifer's heart in her hands today and all she could do was stare in horror as the other doctors nudged her back into reality, goading her to continue with the process. As she held the heart, all she could think of was that it must have been identical to Cosima's, that in some twisted way, she was actually holding Cosima's heart in her hands, only it was no longer beating. She was holding everything that Cosima was, everything that she could but never would be, and that was too much for her to handle.
She composed herself, wiping her tears away with the sleeve of her coat as she continued walking down the hallway. Now more than ever, she wanted to find the dreadlocked girl and hold her close. She stopped, however, when she heard a familiar British accent waft through the air and reach her ears. It was coming from around the corner, where Leekie's lab was, and she froze in place.
"Dilettantes. Nothing but foolish dilettantes. Surely we can do something about it?"
Rachel was usually so calloused and composed, but the tone of her voice betrayed everything she portrayed to most onlookers and Delphine took note. Whatever it was that she was talking about, she was angry.
"We've been over this before, Rachel. Kira Manning stays right where she is."
The voice was distinctly Leekie's, which made sense since it appeared that the conversation was coming from the doorway of his lab. Delphine was unsure of how to proceed. Should she make her presence known? It was clear that they were discussing Sarah's child, which meant that Leekie had lied to her earlier when she had asked him if he knew anything about Kira's disappearance and he'd told her he had no idea, that if DYAD had something to do with it, he wasn't complicit. His duplicity only motivated her and she decided to stay where she was, hidden from their line of vision.
"Aldous, we are wasting time we do not have. Sarah's daughter may hold all the answers we've been looking for. She may be the culmination of the last thirty years of your research and you're just standing here, telling me to do nothing."
"I understand your position on the matter, I do," Leekie replied. "To be quite honest, I'm inclined to agree with you. The sooner we bring the child in for testing, the sooner we'll know more."
Delphine began to feel sick. She was enamored by the science as much as Leekie or any of the other doctors in this building were, but the thought of abducting a child and running involuntary experiments on her was a line she would never cross. She wondered how she could be so stupid, so naive, for not having seen Leekie and DYAD's true nature years before.
"So how come you're being so complacent?" Rachel asked venomously.
"The board has been very clear. Kira Manning is not to be touched. Not for now, anyway."
"You mean that woman has been very clear," Rachel corrected. "Honestly, Aldous. How long will they allow her to continue to stand in our way and muddle the results? If you ask me, our current predicament is entirely her fault."
"Perhaps. I'm sure the other board members will come around to our way of thinking eventually. Soon they'll realize how necessary Kira is in all of this and when they do, even she won't be able to protect her. Until that day comes, we'll just have to keep playing our parts."
"I'm no actor, Aldous. I'm nobody's pawn."
"And yet, here we are."
The conversation came to a close and Leekie walked away, turning the corner and coming face-to-face with Delphine who had been eavesdropping on their exchange. He stopped dead in his tracks.
"Oh. This is... a predicament."
Delphine stood up a little straighter, trying to make herself seem bigger and unafraid, but to no avail while Rachel glared at her. She knew she was one of the last people that either of them would have wanted to overhear their conversation, aside from any of the clones themselves.
"You know," Leekie started. "Your job is to spy on Cosima, not us."
"I... I was coming this way when I heard you. I didn't mean to... to... but then I heard Kira's name," Delphine attempted to explain.
She felt a sudden burst of defiance.
"You know where Sarah's daughter is. You've known all along."
"Yes. She's with us," Rachel clarified, approaching Leekie and Delphine.
Rachel had regained her composure, the callousness returning and settling right where it belonged. She turned to face Leekie.
"Leave us."
The older man shrugged, then drifted by the two women, leaving them standing there alone in the hallway. Rachel sized Delphine up, making the French woman feel uncomfortable, just like she always did. The clone narrowed her eyes at Delphine, gauging her reaction and waiting for a response.
"It isn't right. She's a child. She didn't ask for any of this."
Rachel rolled her eyes.
"And you think that I did? Do you think that me or Sarah or Alison or Cosima asked to be born into any of this? Of course not. But this is the game that we play, Doctor."
"I won't be a part of this," Delphine protested.
"Oh, but you already are."
Ice.
"Tell me," Rachel began, taking a step closer so that her and Delphine were just inches apart. "How much does Cosima mean to you?"
Delphine's head dropped, hanging low as her eyes began to gloss over with tears for the second time in twenty minutes. She already knew where Rachel was going with this and the thought that she'd be complicit in any of it made her want to evaporate.
"I understand you two have become quite... close. It would be a shame if your relationship were to end so abruptly."
Abruptly.
"Cold turkey... what is that?"
"Oh. It means abruptly."
"Don't get me wrong, Doctor Cormier. I'm not the enemy. I have no desire to watch Cosima die, either. She's a sweet girl and she has such a brilliant mind. She could live on to do great things... but that's entirely your decision."
She took a deep breath, composing herself, then exhaled.
"What do you want me to do?"
"Nothing," Rachel smiled. "I want you to do nothing."
Delphine arched a brow, unsure of the meaning behind Rachel's words. The shorter blonde had her at her complete mercy, the French woman was expecting her to demand information about Cosima, about Sarah and where she may be hiding, about the entire operation of the "rogue clones," as Leekie had been calling them. In truth, Delphine wasn't privy to much of that information herself. While Cosima seemed to trust her with her life, it appeared she didn't trust her with the lives of Sarah or Alison. Delphine could hardly blame her, considering the fact that she had exposed them to Leekie in the first place. When it came to Sarah and Alison, Cosima was as quiet as possible, telling the blonde only what she thought was absolutely necessary.
"You will do nothing. You will say nothing. This conversation? It never happened," Rachel clarified. "The question of Sarah's daughter is nonexistent. Or I could pull the plug on your research, on the treatment, and you can watch your lover die. Without DYAD, she doesn't stand a chance."
Another dry, abrasive lump formed in the doctor's throat. It tore at her insides and burned through her stomach as she swallowed it with a hesitant nod, watching the frigid clone stalk away from her, the sound of her heels clicking on the white quartz floor and echoing through the corridor. She took another minute to compose herself, straightening her coat and hair and checking her face in the window of Leekie's lab to make sure her eyes weren't puffy and her face wasn't red, which usually happened when she was crying or upset. As satisfied as she could be with her appearance, she continued on her way to the lab where she was expecting to see Cosima.
It was vacant.
Confused, she looked around to see if there was any sign of the clone. The lights were off, her coat and bag were gone, nobody seemed to be around. Panic shot through her as she headed down a different hallway this time, looking for any signs of life. She eventually ran into another doctor, a younger Asian man with horn rimmed glasses, most likely a research assistant.
"Excuse me," she stopped him, catching his elbow as he attempted to walk by her. "Have you seen Cosima?"
"Cosima?" he asked.
It was possible that he wasn't aware of who Cosima was, although most people who worked closely with Leekie had some basic form of knowledge or involvement in the cloning trial. He could tell by Delphine's expression that she was desperate and his features softened, sympathy bleeding through.
"Nose ring? Hair in braids?" she inquired further, hoping to spark his memory.
"Oh! That's... 324B21, right?"
She was quick to correct him.
"Cosima."
"S-Sorry," he replied, bowing his head in apology. "I didn't know her name. But yeah, I saw her earlier."
"Do you know where she is?"
"I'm pretty sure she left a couple of hours ago. She seemed... despondent."
"Despondent?" she asked, unfamiliar with the English word.
"Sorry. Upset," he clarified. "She seemed upset."
With the blonde's silent permission, he continued on his way and left her standing alone.
Cosima was upset.
She hadn't said anything.
They always left together. It had become their ritual and Cosima hadn't even thought to text her to say that she would be leaving early. She wondered if everything was okay, if something had happened. Had Cosima's health taken a turn for the worst? Is that why she had left early? Suddenly, she felt her greatest fear begin to manifest itself. Her instinct had told her not to let Cosima out of her sight, that she may never see her again if she left her alone with Leekie, Maybe she was overreacting, but ever since the clone had fallen ill, she just couldn't shake this sinking feeling that she would never see Cosima again.
She felt cold and breathless and hollow to the bone.