Hopes For Another Day- Celes' Dream
One week. That was all it had been since she had last felt the earth beneath her feet, yet it seemed much longer then that, and maybe it was. She was born and raised into the chaotic life of a general of the Empire. When had she ever known stability? Celes sat up.
"On that solitary island..." she said to herself. There, she had Cid to take care of her. When she thought about it, he was the only person to ever be there for her. Except for Locke. Realizing where her thoughts were going, she immediately pushed him out of her mind. "No use thinking about you" she said to the wind, not only was it too painful, but she had too much to think about. What use is dreaming a dream... if there is to be nowhere for it to come true?
Lying back down, she stared up into the sky. But, it wasn't the sky she was used to. Not the beautiful blue sky of days before, not the one that broke the darkness of night, and brought forth hopes for another day. Gone was the bright blueness, the white fluffy clouds, the everlasting feeling that she got when she stared up so high at it. Looking it over, Celes then realized she had not even seen a bird fly overhead.
"This is not my home, this cannot be my home," she murmured to herself. The world was dying; she saw that clearer then ever. Not only from the dimness the sky left in her soul, not only because the birds were not out and about, soaring freely like they used to, but because she could feel death in the air. Destruction. She had seen enough of it already during her life, but now more then ever, it was everywhere. She thought about the awful things she had done in her life for the Empire. "The death. The deception. What have I done?" Celes cried. The thought that she had been so unmerciful with other people's lives made her sick. Especially since she wanted to fight for her own. But the difference between them, and her was that they all had each other to depend on. Whom did she have now?
"Locke could be..." she began, but cut herself off. "No, no, no!" He wasn't there anymore; she knew she could not build herself up on false hopes, so again she pushed him to the back of her mind.
"Why am I here?" Celes found she could not stop asking herself that. Where did she think she was going? The world, it seemed, was beyond saving. Everything familiar had changed, and it appeared to have changed for the worst. She thought she would always be able to count on the sunrise to bring about a new day, but now it brought the same despair and grief, again and again. Her friends... but were they really gone? Celes wasn't sure, even if they were still breathing, it had been a year, would they welcome her with open arms? What kind of lives did they now lead? And would they be willing to risk it all again to try and restore what they once had... a dream of tomorrow?
Rolling over Celes drew closer to the side of the raft and ran her fingers through the cold, dark water.
"It can't be done. I cannot do it alone. If everyone is gone, if my friends turn me down, then..." It was at that moment she realized something. She had said 'if'... had she some hope? Somewhere inside, did she think here could be a chance?
Rolling back to the middle of the raft, she pondered the thought.
"If I really have no hope that I can return this world to what it was, would I have hopped on this raft?" She said quietly. "If I have no hope, would I still be alive? Wouldn't I have just taken my own life? I am after something. I want the world. I want my friends to share it with me. I want to be able to live, knowing that there is somebody there, if ever I fall, that will help me back up to my feet. I want the sky to fill me with happiness again every time I look up at it, I want the birds to fly again, I want life!" With that, she smiled to herself; she could not remember ever being so passionate about living.
Just then, she looked up to see a bird fly overhead. Never had she ever had so much joy from the mere sight of a feathered friend. They could be alive, and she had to go, she had to know. She couldn't give up and go on unsure if the world would end while she was sleeping, or if they had been living, waiting, searching for her all this time.
Celes closed her eyes and could feel the gentle rock of the raft as it moved. So peaceful it felt. And as she began to drift off to sleep, she found her thoughts returning to Locke, and, this time she let them.