He's standing, leaning back against the desk, gripping the top and quietly protesting. All the usual excuses, which he feels compelled to give even though he doesn't mean them, never meant them.
He's glancing at the door, afraid someone will walk in, knowing they won't, maybe almost wishing they would, because here in the dark, in the silence, it doesn't seem quite real.
And it can't be real. Shouldn't be. But he needs it to be real.
"Stop. You have to stop. I don't... want this."
But his half-hearted pleas fall on deaf ears, because Levi isn't letting this go, will not let it go this time.
He had been standing behind him. They had been arguing about something – nothing – when Erwin stood, turning to face him. They were so close, the sound of their heartbeats, of their friendship, of everything they had built was crashing in their ears as Levi stared entranced at the pulse in Erwin's neck.
He didn't know when, how he had fallen to his knees, didn't know why this was happening, but it was happening. It was urgent and he was desperate and it had to be now, it had to be.
He heard his friend, his commander, tell him to stop, order him, beg him, and he understood.
He steeled himself, knowing this was it, that there could be no turning back if this happened, if it happened, oh god what have I done, no - it's all right, it has to be, it has to be now.
Hands gripping Erwin's thighs hard, too hard, leaving marks, it doesn't matter. He licked his lips and fell on him, pulling, sucking, devouring every inch until he couldn't hear, see, think of anything else and fuck, this was right. This was right. The weight against his tongue, the scent of sweat and pride, this was what he wanted, needed fuck fuck fuck.
He could hear Erwin's soft sighs turn into bitten off moans, ebbing and flowing like the ocean, the endless salt sea of his dreams. This was his dream, here now. His hands, unbidden by his mind – his mind which was wholly occupied, consumed by the man he drank in like water in the desert – his hands found their way around Erwin's waist, gripping at the back of his belt, because this was it, this was happening, oh god.
Erwin was biting hard on the back of his hand to stifle the traitorous groans he could no longer control. He looked down, and for the first time he knew, truly knew what was happening to him, to them. Levi's eyes shone back up at him in the dim glow and it was all and it was everything and he couldn't take anymore, breaking like a wave against the cliffs.
Levi was drowning, an ocean flooding down his throat, the power of it crashing over him. His own lust, want, need pouring out of him, the years of tension, of uncertainty, all washing away.
Spent, empty, the din of the final crescendo ringing in his ears, Erwin dropped gracelessly to the floor. Levi looked up at him, sated, and wiped the corner of his mouth.
"Insubordinate," Erwin said.
"Fuck that," Levi replied.
Erwin raised his chin, a gleam of renewed life in his eyes. "I'd like to see you try…"