Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight. I own….well, nothing really.
Warning: This is rated M for the ending, so if you are not 18, please do not read.
A/N: A huge thank you to HammerHips for reviewing this. If you haven't already, check out her stories, they seriously kick ass!
When I come to the end of my journey, And I travel my last weary mile
Just forget if you can, that I ever frowned, And remember only the smile
Forget unkind words I have spoken, Remember some good I have done
Forget that I ever had heartache, And remember I've had loads of fun
Forget that I've stumbled and blundered, And sometimes fell by the way
Remember I have fought some hard battles, And won, ere the close of the day
Then forget to grieve for my going, I would not have you sad for a day
But in summer just gather some flowers, And remember the place where I lay
And come in the shade of evening, When the sun paints the sky in the west
Stand for a few moments beside me, And remember only my best
~~ Mrs. Lyman Hiscock
It was more difficult than she thought it would be. The sea of people dressed in black was reassuring to her. She hadn't realized just how many friends her father had, and the amazement and pride made her heart swell at the sight of the dozens of people that came to pay their respects.
She stood tall as the hearse arrived at the cemetery. She watched with tear-filled eyes as the precious cargo was lifted from the hearse and the pallbearers followed Reverend Webber to the raw, open earth that waited. Fighting the lump in her throat as the funeral detail carefully placed the casket over the grave, the new Chief of Police adjusted the flag that was laid on the casket as she became lost in her thoughts. She tried not to think about the fact that the flag covered her father's body; she tried not to think that she had seen her father for the last time.
She managed to maintain her composure, with only a few sniffles escaping, as Reverend Webber performed the service. She almost cracked as the service came to a close, and the wailing sound of the bagpipes playing Amazing Grace brought tears to her eyes. She bit them back fiercely as she watched the funeral detail, carefully and reverently, fold the flag. The shining, polished wood of the coffin now kept her attention. Her father, the man that took her in and gave her the sense of home that she always wanted and needed, lay cold and lifeless in that wooden box.
She stared ahead, her eyes brimming with tears, as the captain of the colorguard marched forward, bowed, and murmured his sympathies before pressing the folded flag into her hands. Through all of this she managed to maintain her self-control, to a degree, until a sob ripped from someone in the crowd and she realized that it came from her.
She lost it at that moment. Her knees went weak. She only remained standing because a strong, cold arm wrapped lightly around her waist and held her close. She didn't look up at him because she knew that if she looked into those warm, topaz eyes she would lose it completely. Instead, she focused her eyes on the faint scattering of scars peaking out above the collar of his shirt, safe in the arms of the man who had been her lifeline for the past few months.
Jasper had been watching Bella closely throughout the procession of the funeral. He could feel her distress intensify and he took action accordingly, his arm steadying her while he kept his eyes locked on the coffin in front of him. So much had happened in the last few months, and there had been too much to think about in the chaos that had ensued after the fight with Victoria and the newborns. To top it all off, Edward had left Bella again with no explanation, Alice joining him.
Jasper's eyes strayed slightly to see Carlisle and Esme standing somberly, watching Bella. He could feel the emotions rolling off of them. Their hearts were breaking for the young woman they considered their daughter.
Just to the left of Carlisle and Esme stood Emmett and Rosalie. Jasper could see the sadness and the well of tears that would never fall in both their eyes. Emmett was wearing his heart on his sleeve as he watched his little sister struggling to be brave, while Rose, who had gotten exceptionally close to Bella since Alice had taken off, was fighting to keep it together. She had spent a lot of time with Bella at Charlie's house, and she was finding it hard to fathom that he was gone just as much as Bella was.
Seeing the emotions on the faces of the crowd was hard enough; being an empath and feeling it was another story altogether. Despite the fact that his control was the best it had ever been, Jasper was glad he had hunted last night as this would be the ultimate test of his control. Being around that much grief was trying, but there was no way he would ever leave Bella's side.
He held Bella tightly as the benediction was given and people started moving around. Most headed to Bella to give their condolences; the Quileutes leading the crowd. Relations had improved since the battle with the newborns, and the animosity had disappeared. While things would never be overly friendly between the Cullens and the Pack, they both held a respect for each other now. Jasper could see from the corner of his eye that Bella was extremely pale, and his worry for her was escalating. Her emotions were all over the place and he was afraid that the shock of her father's death was only hitting her now. He knew the 'shield' she had put up around her emotions the past couple days was wearing thin, and soon she would be at her breaking point. She was determined to be strong and not let it show, afraid to disrespect her father's memory, but he was afraid that it was just going to be too much for her.
Bella saw the funeral director take his place next to the grave, knowing it would be up to him to stay at the graveyard until the crowd had dispersed and the casket was lowered into the ground. All of a sudden, there were too many people around her; her breathing became difficult as she gasped for air.
"Bella? Darlin'?"
She could hear Jasper talking to her, but she couldn't answer him. She had to breathe but if she did, she knew the sobs would escape; ragged, tearing sobs that she just couldn't let out. She couldn't lose control. She knew that once she started she would be unable to stop. She didn't want to disrespect her father's memory by falling apart now, not when it was almost over. She could wait until she was back at the house with nobody around before she let loose the emotions that she felt would surely kill her.
"Bella!"
His voice was sharp as blackness threatened the edges of her vision. She pressed her face to his chest as she struggled to take in the air that she desperately needed. She tried to breathe in the comfort of his scent but it was no use as she succumbed to the darkness.
Jasper saw Bella's eyes flutter closed and her face become even more impossibly pale. "Carlisle! Hurry! Emmett, get the car!"
She was going into shock, and they needed to get her out of here. They moved as swiftly as they could at a human pace, Bella between them. Jasper and Carlisle got Bella to where Emmett had moved Carlisle's Mercedes, and Rosalie and Esme followed in Rose's M3. Jasper placed Bella in the backseat as Carlisle climbed into the front with Emmett driving.
"Where to Carlisle? Hospital?" Emmett asked as he looked anxiously in the rearview mirror at the girl whom he considered his little sister.
Carlisle nodded, picking up his cell phone to call ahead to the ER.
"No..."
Carlisle stopped dialing.
If he was human, Jasper wouldn't have heard Bella's quiet protest. "Darlin', you're in shock. We need to get you to the hospital so Carlisle can check you out."
She shook her head as she whispered, "No...please..."
Carlisle looked back at Jasper from the front of the car and nodded. "Take us to the house Emmett. We can get her set up in the spare room and I'll check her over there."
Jasper took off his jacket and wrapped it around Bella's shoulders. He then wrapped his arms around her and held her gently against his chest as Emmett slowly drove away from the cemetery.
Bella woke slowly. She was warm, and she realized she was covered with a blanket. It took her a minute to snap out of that foggy feeling you get after waking. She then realized that she was curled up on the couch in the Cullens living room, Jasper's jacket lying on the coffee table next to the chess set. Her shoes were tossed haphazardly nearby, and her purse lay on the floor by the couch. Her hair had been loosed and the pins taken out, letting it fall around her shoulders.
The quiet sound of voices reached her ears and she strained to hear what they were saying. She slowly realized the soft, beautiful tones of the family she loved so much. She didn't want to see anybody but she was relieved that it was the Cullens she was with. She could handle facing them because she knew they had already seen her at her worst a few times over the past couple of years.
Tears welled up in her already puffy eyes as she remembered her exit from the funeral. She had broken down, even though she had tried so hard to be strong, to not lose the small grip she had to reality. It was no use. Slowly her tears turned to sobs, the ones that she had tried to keep at bay at the cemetery. Long, ragged, tearing sobs wracked her small frame, and once she started, there was no way to stop them. Pain shot through her chest as she gasped for air between cries before she felt strong, cold arms surround her, pulling her into a tight embrace.
She didn't need to open her eyes to know who held her. The cold, hard feel of his arms and his wonderful scent was unmistakable: he smelt like honey, hay, and just...home. Her own arms circled his waist tightly as the tears ran freely down her face, and the others headed upstairs to give them some semblance of privacy
"I'm so sorry Jasper..." she stammered between sobs. "I can't seem to stop crying!"
His hand rubbed her back, trying to give her the comfort she needed without manipulating her emotions. He knew the sooner she felt everything, the sooner she would allow herself to fully grieve. "Bella, you don't have to stop. It's okay to cry for your father. It's expected. I'd be more worried if you didn't."
A buzzing noise interrupted her reply as her phone, set to vibrate, rattled in her purse.
"Oh God, that's probably Renee. She can't be too happy to be left at the house with all of Dad's friends," she said while sniffling. Renee and Phil had flown up from Jacksonville as soon as they had gotten the call. Even though they were divorced, Renee would always have a special place in her heart for Charlie.
"Carlisle and Esme have already spoken to Renee. They explained the situation to her and she understands that this is hard on you Bella. Everyone understands. You and Charlie had grown very close, especially in the last few months," Jasper said softly. He knew how close Bella and Charlie had gotten since Edward left again. He, himself, had gotten to know the man better than he ever thought he would. After Alice had taken off for parts unknown with Edward, Jasper had grown closer to the beautiful brunette he currently held in his arms. They had come to lean on each other to get over the abandonment of their mates, they had bonded, and now there was nothing one would not do for the other. Spending time with Bella had led to spending time with Charlie. It was ironic really, Jasper had managed to bond with Charlie in a way that Charlie never did with Edward. The two could easily be found watching a Mariners game on the flat screen TV in the Swans' small living room, and even Emmett had joined them a few times.
Bella managed to get the worst of her crying under control. Although it was the last thing she wanted to do, she pulled away from Jasper to look at him, and then realized that her tears and makeup now coated the front of his shirt.
"Oh! Jasper, I'm so sorry. I've ruined your shirt," she said quickly as she tried to wipe away the spots, only to end up making it worse.
Jasper caught her hand with his. "It's no problem," he drawled. "I do have other shirts you know."
Her breath caught as his smile widened, the concern and love in his eyes was unmistakable. She knew that he thought of her as more than a friend, and she was also sure that he knew she felt the same. They had been skirting around the issue for a while now. Suddenly she felt self-conscious and wiped at her face. Stupid vampire and his stupid dazzling. His cold hands came up to cup her face. He gently wiped her tears away with his thumbs, his hands soothing to her tired soul. She knew she must look a mess.
"Think you're ready to face the crowd at your house? Jacob called about an hour ago and asked that you come over when you were feeling better. He said Renee is looking a bit uncomfortable."
Bella took a deep breath before nodding hesitantly. She knew she had to go back there, but it didn't mean that she was looking forward to it. It would actually be the first time setting foot in her house since her father died. She had spent the last few nights at the Cullens, not wanting to be in an empty house with so many reminders of her father.
"Will you come with me?" she asked softly.
Brushing a stray honey-blond curl from his eye, he smiled at her. "Of course, Darlin'. I'll always be there for you, Bella."
Bella felt relatively calm as she rode in the back seat of Emmett's Jeep to her house. It was just that now; her house. According to his will, Charlie left everything he had to her; the house, along with a hefty life insurance policy that she never knew about. However, she would trade it all in a heartbeat to have her father back with her again. Even Alice would not have been able to prevent him from having the sudden heart attack that prematurely ended his life, taking him away from her.
She felt rather proud that she was keeping her emotions from overwhelming her without Jasper's help, she had no idea how many people would be at the house when they arrived. It had been a few hours since their hasty departure from the cemetery, so hopefully, there wouldn't be too many people left. Although she was pretty sure that, no matter what the time was, the Pack would still be there.
Her heart nearly stopped beating as she saw the line of cars on both sides of the street, and Jasper's hand tightened in hers as she began to shake. It looked like a lot of people had stuck around. She wondered how Renee was doing, surrounded by people that had once been her friends before she had taken Bella and left Forks so many years ago.
Jasper held her hand tightly. An army of starving newborns wouldn't drag him from her side now. She had been through so much lately, and he was in awe of this human girl, this woman. She had been emotionally beat down time and time again, but every time she managed to rise like a phoenix from the ashes. He had no doubt that she would get through this as well.
He held her elbow possessively as they walked up the driveway toward the front door of her house, Rose following slightly behind them. They had gotten closer since Edward and Alice had left. Even though it had surprised everyone, themselves included, they were now closer than either ever was with Alice. Emmett had let them out at the end of the driveway so he could find parking, leaving them staring at the people outside talking, because the house was small and not equipped for a crowd this size. Jasper should have talked it over with Carlisle and had everyone come back to their house, because there was more room, although it would have made things interesting with the wolves there. Relations between the two sides had improved, especially since the battle with Victoria's army, but that still didn't mean the two sides were the best of friends. There was a respect there now that was absent before.
He felt her press her elbow closer to him as several people recognized her and headed in their direction, but she was holding up as well as could be expected as they moved through the crowd. Her shaking had dwindled and he had eased his hand away from her arm. He did, however, stay close to her for the rest of the afternoon.
Rose watched as the last remaining well-wishers bid Bella farewell. It was getting late and being around so many humans in such a small place was starting to wear on her. Just because she had never tasted human blood didn't make her bloodlust any easier to deal with. She could only imagine how Jasper was dealing with all this, and poor Bella must be exhausted. She was distracted from her internal musings as Renee and Phil began rounding up their things to leave.
"Mom, you and Phil can stay here. There's plenty of room," Bella was saying.
"Sweetie, it's fine. I know you need some time alone. Plus, we already have a room booked at the hotel. You've got your friends here with you, there's no need for you to deal with us here tonight," Renee said as she hugged Bella gently.
"At least let me drive you. There's no need for a cab. Or take my truck. I won't be needing it tonight."
Rose realized then that she had the perfect solution and she knew that Jasper would want to stick around. "Bella, Emmett and I can take them. We need to get back to the house anyway. Plus, we have Emmett's Jeep, so there's tons of room."
Phil smiled his gratitude at Rose for the solution. "Thank you Ms. Cullen."
"Please, call me Rose. And you're welcome," Rose said. "Bella," she whispered as she hugged her tightly. "Call me if you need me for anything."
"Thank you Rose. For everything." she whispered back.
"Baby Bells," Emmett said, wrapping her up in a bear-sized hug, "I love you, little sister. We'll see you soon."
Bella noticed that nobody had said anything about Jasper leaving, and she was glad. She really didn't want to be alone, but she knew that Jasper would give her the time and space that she needed.
He must have read her mind as he stood up to say goodbye to Renee and Phil. As Rose was showing Bella's mother and stepfather to the Jeep, Jasper spoke briefly to Emmett, "I'll run home later if Bella wants some time to herself."
Emmett nodded as he walked away, heading to the Jeep, and leaving Bella with the peace and quiet she desperately needed.
Bella closed the door behind her as the huge jeep pulled away from the house, taking a moment to lean against the door before heading to the living room where Jasper was waiting. He had been extremely considerate and caring all day, and she knew it would have been so much harder if not for him. They had gotten so close after the whole Edward/Alice debacle. She was hurt when Edward left again, but if she was honest with herself she wasn't really surprised. She was, however, angry that Alice had abandoned her husband. She knew that Jasper said they had been having problems for years, so it wasn't a surprise to him, but the situation still didn't sit well with her. She had moved on, and the vampire sitting in the next room was the reason for that. It probably wasn't the smartest thing she had ever done in her life but she had slowly fallen in love with the blond haired vampire who had taken such good care of her for the past few months. She wasn't sure how he felt, although she knew he felt something. They hadn't talked about it, so she wasn't sure how deep his emotions ran.
She sighed and wandered back through the house. Her feet and back were killing her from the heels she had worn today; they hurt almost as much as her head, and she planned to take a long soak in the tub after Jasper had left. After her crying jag today she had pulled herself together and made the decision to look ahead, because she knew her father wouldn't want her to waste away grieving for him. He would want her to be happy. She just had to figure out what happiness meant to her.
She turned the corner into the living room to see Jasper cleaning up the few glasses that were left there from today. "Jazz, you don't have to stay. I can clean up this mess tomorrow. It'll give me something to do to keep my mind off of everything."
He turned to look at her. Even though it was a physical impossibility, he looked as tired as she felt. The emotions of everyone around today had taken their toll on him. "You're eyes are black. Why don't you go hunt?" She wasn't worried about his control. Since her 18th birthday, where he had nearly taken a bite out of her, he had worked almost religiously on controlling his bloodlust. It was now almost non-existent, rivaling even Carlisle.
"I'm fine. This won't take long. Why don't you go change while I finish cleaning up? "
"Actually, I was thinking of a long soak in the tub. The cleaning really can wait until tomorrow."
He placed the dishes down on the kitchen counter and walked over to her. His hand cupped her face lightly and she leaned into him. "Go soak. I'll finish tidying up here and run out for a quick hunt." His thumb pressed lightly against her lips, cutting off whatever it was she was about to say. "I'll go hunt if you'll go relax in the tub. I'll be back by the time you're done."
She could feel the tears welling up in her eyes and the lump in her throat prevented her from answering. She never had someone take care of her so intently. She simply nodded and turned to head up the stairs.
Bella awoke with a start. She had fallen asleep in the bathtub. She must have been asleep for a while since the water was quite a bit cooler. She was surprised that Jasper hadn't come to check on her, but maybe he wasn't back from his hunt yet.
She quickly dried off and pulled out an old pair of sweats and a tank top, and she threw on a hoodie to ward off the chill that was setting in. After brushing her damp hair, she took a deep breath before heading down to see him.
She smiled as she saw his head resting on the back of the couch. If she didn't know he was a vampire she would have sworn he was asleep. His eyes were shut and he had the top two buttons of his dress shirt undone. He looked so human in that moment. She took a moment to study him, knowing that he was aware of her presence. How could he not be with super senses and all? She forgot herself for a moment and gave into the urge to let her index finger lightly trace the faint scar above his left eyebrow.
A gasp escaped her as his eyes opened; they were bright from his hunt and she swore she could drown in them. She jerked her hand back as if she had been burned.
"Jasper, I'm so sorry. I don't know what I was thinking..."
His lips drew up in a smirk. "Feel any better?" he asked. She was glad that he didn't mention her previous action.
"Yeah, I do. Thank you. For everything. I don't know if I could have made it through today without you."
He patted the couch beside him. "C'mere Darlin'. Sit with me for a minute."
His eyes were so soft and his voice soothing, Bella couldn't help but take the seat next to him. Tongue-tied, she didn't know what to say so she just sat there staring at her hands.
Jasper watched as she twisted her hands in her lap. Nervousness was rolling off her in waves. He knew they were at a fork in the road, and he knew how he felt about her; it was a long time coming really. He also knew how she felt about him. It was times like this that his gift was both a blessing and a curse. He wanted to talk about it with her, and he didn't want to wait any longer, but the day of her father's funeral just didn't seem to be the right time. He also knew that he couldn't fathom the idea of going through this someday with Bella being the one in the heavy, wooden coffin. Today just put everything in perspective for him. He knew he wanted her. He wanted her forever.
He had spoken with the rest of the family earlier, and they were of the same mind. Bella may not be with Edward any longer but she was still family. Neither one of them could imagine a future without her. She was their daughter and sister in every way besides blood, but she was more than that to Jasper. He had never thought of her as a sister; she was his heart, the missing piece of his soul that he had thought was long gone.
It was almost an involuntary reaction when his cold hand covered hers, stilling the fretful motion. She looked up, a bit surprised at the action.
"Jasper. Why are you here? I figured you would have gone home with Rose and Em, or after you hunted," she said softly. Her eyes were luminous, partly due to the moisture that had welled up there.
"I didn't want you to be alone tonight. I also wanted to talk to you, I just don't know where to start." He surprised himself by vocalizing his thoughts. He didn't mean to start this conversation now. He wanted to wait a few days for her to pull herself together.
He heard her heart speed up and she swallowed hard. He felt her fear start to creep up. "Bella, calm down Darlin'. It's not a bad thing so don't go gettin' ahead of yourself."
She took a deep breath, trying to calm herself. "Okay. What did you want to talk about?"
He took a second to get his thoughts in order. "I know this is horrible timing Bella, you've been through so much lately and I don't want to put any more pressure on you." He stood up and began to pace. "The family and I were wondering if you've given any thought to the future and what your plans were now." He stopped, looking at her.
She looked down at her hands. "Oh! Well, Renee and Phil have mentioned me moving to Florida with them."
In that moment Jasper was sure he felt his long dead heart breaking. The pain in his chest rivaled what he felt during his change. Then she spoke again.
"But I don't want to go." She looked up at him, her eyes guarded but hopeful.
His pain quickly diminished, and he knew he had to put it all out on the table right now. Just the thought of losing her gave him the courage to tell her how the family felt; how he felt.
He walked back over to the couch and sat down next to her once again. Taking her hand, he said, "Darlin'. You know how much the family loves you. Even though you're no longer with Edward you are still very much a Cullen. We've all been thinkin' about this for a while but sayin' goodbye to Charlie was the kick in the pants we needed. We don't want to go through that with you, we can't. The thought of saying goodbye to you someday is something none of us want to experience, so we want you forever. Carlisle and Esme want their daughter. Rose and Emmett want their sister. And I..."
The tears were slowing running down her face now. He had said almost everything that she had ever wanted. But she needed to hear what he wanted. "And you?"
He brought his hands up to cup her face, wiping her tears. Looking into her eyes he said, "You Bella. I want you. I love you."
Her eyes widened. He could feel her disbelief. "You want...me? You love me?" Her lip was trembling.
"Yeah Darlin', I do. I want it all. I want you. As my mate, as my wife someday when you're ready, I want you as my forever. You're the other half of my soul Bella, and although we may have had unconventional means of getting here, I know I can't exist without you. I love you, and I want you, always."
Her tears were back full force now and he thanked God for his vampire hearing. "I love you too," she whispered.
His lips were soft as they covered hers. He allowed her the opportunity to pull away but she didn't. Then he felt it: a love so strong and so pure that he had never felt anything like it before in his long existence. He was stunned until he felt her teeth gently tug at his bottom lip. Slowly, he lost himself in her open-mouthed kisses, and h his body began reacting to her closeness, to the taste of her mouth, the texture of her tongue, her hands roaming his chest and neck. He could hear her groan slightly as he pulled away from her. As much as he wanted her, he had to control himself.
"Slow down, Darlin'. We have plenty of time. And we should talk some more." The look on her face was definitely one that he could get used to seeing. The desire in her eyes matched the way he felt. "It's been a long, trying day. Maybe I should go, you need to sleep."
She shook her head softly. "We can slow down but please don't leave. Stay with me. I don't want to be alone tonight," she whispered.
He pulled her close to him, his arms tightened around her as he nodded. "You'll never be alone again, Bella." Things were settled as far as he was concerned. She loved him. Her kisses and her emotions confirmed it. The details could wait.
Bella woke slightly chilled. She was snuggled into Jasper's side and he had covered her with the quilt that hung on the back of the couch. They had talked for a long time before she had fallen asleep. Edward was out of the picture, as was Alice; while they were both hurt from their actions in the past, they had moved on. They were more interested in the future that they would build together.
They talked about the conversation he had with the family. She knew that the Cullens loved her, but to know that they wanted her forever, especially since she was no longer with Edward, only made her love them more. She was so afraid that one day they would leave again. That was no longer a worry now, she would be going with them.
Jasper had surprised her when he told her that her father had talked to him about Edward and the rest of the Cullens. She knew Charlie had no love for Edward and was glad to see him gone. Apparently, though, he was pleased that she hadn't fallen apart like last time. He attributed that to the Cullens staying in Forks. Jasper didn't tell her exactly what was said but she knew her father well enough to know that he would speak his mind to Jasper. She didn't press him for information, but Jasper did tell her that Charlie was proud of her and grateful for everything that the Cullens had done to help her. It was a moot point now though. Edward was out of her life. Bella stifled a gasp of pain. So was her father...
Jasper knew as soon as she woke up. He didn't say anything as he knew her mind was processing everything that had happened today. Her emotions were all over the place and she was shaking slightly.
"Bella," he said softly. She turned her wet face into his chest, "It's okay, Darlin'. Let it out."
Sobs punctuated her words. "I'm...going to...miss him so much."
He tightened his grip on her. "I know. I will too." Jasper felt his eyes well up with venom. Charlie had been a good man. Jasper had been so worried and caught up in Bella's emotions that he hadn't had time to grieve for him himself. He kissed her hair tenderly and gently rocked her until her sobs subsided, and her breathing steadied, and she fell into a deep sleep once more.
Jasper sat quietly for a little while as he remembered Charlie. Their last conversation had been about Bella. Charlie had still been worried about everything that happened with Edward. He knew that Edward wasn't the right one for his daughter and he was glad that she seemed to be doing okay. He had wanted to speak to her about it, but Charlie was not a man of many words. He thought that Bella was happy and he didn't want to do anything to upset her. After everything she had been though she deserved to be happy.
Jasper felt her stir slightly, and he knew she had to be uncomfortable. He had covered her with a blanket earlier, but it wasn't enough to ward off the cold of his body. The clock on the wall showed that it was nearly two in the morning.
"Come on Darlin. Let's get you to bed." He smiled as she mumbled something that even his vampire hearing couldn't pick out. He eased her body away from him, and laid her back down on the couch, his eyes locking on her sleeping form. Even after such a rough day he swore he had never seen such a beautiful woman. Shaking his head, he went upstairs to her room and turned on the small lamp near the bed. After turning down the covers, he returned downstairs. He lifted her up in his arms carefully, her arms snaking up around his neck, and her face was warming his throat. He took a minute to bury his nose in her hair and inhale her scent. The burn in his throat was non-existent. He knew he would never be able to hurt her.
He kissed her head lightly as he carried her up to her room and settled her in her bed. Pulling the covers over her, he stood for a moment and just watched her sleep. He wanted to stay but didn't want to push his luck, because even though they had talked and had gotten things out in the open, he didn't want to overstep his boundaries. They would have plenty of time to be together. He shut off the light and was headed back to the bedroom door when her soft voice called his name.
"Jasper..."
He had thought she was asleep. He turned back to face the bed, the light from the hallway lit her face. "Yes, Darlin'?"
"Stay with me...Please?"
"As much as I would love to, you've had a hard few days, you should sleep."
"Please Jasper. I just...I want..."
He smiled at her inability to finish a sentence. He nodded slightly. "I'll be right back."
Bella listened to his footsteps as she waited. She heard the faint sound of the front door locking and saw the light in the hall dim as his footsteps got closer to her room. He reappeared in the doorway, the faint moonlight coming through the window lighting his movements. He removed his shoes and sat down on the bed next to her, and although she couldn't see his eyes, she knew that he was having second thoughts about staying with her. She knew he thought they might be moving a bit too fast, since they had only declared themselves a few hours ago. But she knew what she wanted, and she knew that it would be forever. There was no doubt in her mind.
She patted the bed next to her. "Please..." she whispered. She saw his head nod in the darkness before he pulled the covers up and climbed in beside her. He hesitated for a moment, not wanting to make her cold, but then his arms pulled her close to him and his lips lightly brushed her forehead. She felt safe and she wasn't as cold as she thought she would be. She felt his love envelop her and sleep overtook her quickly.
He never understood what Edward found so fascinating about watching her sleep, until now. She had been restless for most of the night, alternating between snuggled up with her head on his chest and her back against him. She talked in her sleep quite a bit as well. Just a jumble of words, but he could definitely pick out, "Jasper...Love you..." and "forever". He would then stroke her hair or rub her back, and she would settle down again, falling back to sleep.
Just as the sun was peering over the horizon, Jasper heard his cell phone beep with a text message, even though it was in his jacket in the living room. As much as he didn't want to move from Bella's embrace, he knew he should probably answer it. Calls this early could mean trouble, even if things have been quiet lately. Carefully, he extricated himself from the warm arm wrapped around his waist and made his way back down to the living room.
Picking up his phone, he was surprised to see the sender. Alice. He hadn't spoken to Alice in months, not since she left. What in the world could she want now? He settled down on the couch and pulled up the message.
"Everything is as it should be now. Take care of her and be happy Jazz."
Jasper was shocked. He shouldn't have been surprised that Alice had seen what had happened last night, but he was a little annoyed that they unknowingly had an audience. He wondered if that was why Edward and Alice left in the first place: could she have seen that he and Bella would fall in love? If that was the case, she would have foreseen Charlie's death and he really didn't want to go there. Not that he needed it, but he was glad that he had Alice's blessing so to speak, because it was one less thing they would have to deal with in the future.
"Everything okay?" Bella's voice drifted down toward him from upstairs.
The broad smile on his face when he turned to her answered her question, and she couldn't help but smile back at him. He was so beautiful.
"No, nothing's wrong. Something's right actually. C'mere and have a look at this. It's from Alice."
Bella was in shock. "Alice! Why? What did she want?" The smile left her face quickly. He could feel her panic start to set in.
Jasper moved to her and wrapped his arms around her. "Breathe Bella. Here, read this." Once he showed her the message, her arms wrapped around his waist and he could feel her body relax.
"Alice saw it, she saw everything months ago. That's why she left. Edward must have seen her vision." Her mind was working in high speed. "It was fate. We were destined to be together." She began moving slowly back up the stairs toward her room, pulling him with her. There was a slight resistance from him and he could have stopped her if he really wanted, but he acceded to her unspoken request as she nuzzled his neck. Slowly, her lips found their way to his jaw. By the time they reached her bedroom door, her mouth was fastened to his lips.
His hands caressed her back as they moved into her bedroom. The soft light of the early morning lit the room as they reached the bed. Bella's hands worked their way under his shirt and up his back. Touching his cold skin, her fingers traced the lines of his scars and muscles. Breathing was becoming difficult as her legs backed against the foot of the bed.
One of his hands moved from her back around to her breast. Her lips lost their connection with his as she inhaled sharply, due to the cool touch of his fingers through her shirt. She quickly pulled her shirt over her head, unable to contain her moan as his hand returned to her breast, the cold making her nipple tingle. Her knees went weak as his mouth followed.
Even though it was impossible, Jasper was in a daze. He knew that, technically, they had only been together for a few hours, but there was no turning back now. She said it herself, it was fate, destiny. Bella's bare skin inflamed him more than he could have imagined, and he found it difficult to control his desires. His bloodlust wasn't an issue but he still wanted to be careful. He didn't want their first time to be rushed, but, oh, God, he wanted her so much! Her hands clutched his shoulders as his tongue gently played with her already hardened nipple. He felt her hands move to his head, running them through his curls, pulling his face tight against her skin.
He let one hand slip under the waistband of her sweatpants and cup her behind, causing her to sag against him as she exhaled sharply. Slowly, he pushed her pants down past her hips and let them fall to her ankles. He kissed his way up her breastbone to her throat as his arms wrapped around her waist, hesitating over her pulse point, then gently lowering her to the bed. He felt her kick her pants off her feet as he lay down next to her. He cupped her face, his fingers tracing light patterns on her cheek.
She was so beautiful, pale skin glowing in the early morning light, luminous brown eyes filled with desire. He still couldn't believe his luck; he couldn't believe that he was here with her like this. All of the feelings of loss and despair, of worthlessness that he had felt throughout his life, had vanished. He had never felt a love as pure as hers, it encompassed him like a warm blanket.
She reached for his face as he hesitated. "Jasper," she whispered. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing Darlin'. Everything is finally right." He couldn't help the smile that spread across his face. "You sure about this Bella? We can slow down."
"I'm sure Jasper. I'm ready for this. I'm ready for everything."
Her hands pulled his head close to her face, and she planted light, teasing kisses over it as she turned toward him. He took the hint as her hands tugged at the buttons of his shirt, so he quickly moved and unbuttoned it. As he resettled himself next to her, she nudged her knee between his legs, pressed tightly against him, her legs entwined with his.
The feeling of his bare chest against hers was exciting, but the hard evidence of his desire that strained against his pants was absolutely electrifying. She pressed hard against him causing shivers throughout her body, desire pooling in her belly as he pushed back. He ran his tongue against her lips begging for entrance. Their tongues entangled slowly as their bodies moved against each other.
The coarse material of his pants rubbed against her sensitive skin. She moved one hand between them, fumbling with the button and zipper. He rolled away from her for a moment and quickly removed his pants and boxers, before rolling back to face her. She savored the feel of his body against hers, nothing standing between them, figuratively or symbolically. There were no ex's, no newborn armies, and no crazy vampires hell-bent on vengeance. His hard body pressing her gently back on the bed was the only thing that mattered now.
His long fingers slowly explored her body as his lips continued against hers. She moaned into his mouth as he paused at her breasts, alternating between teasing them lightly and kneading them. One of her hands covered his, guiding it to the place that caused her breath to catch. Her other hand moved lower between them and captured the hard evidence of his erection that was pressing insistently into her hip. She smiled at his sharply inhaled breath as she stroked him.
His hand slipped away from hers and moved lower. When his fingers dipped into the wet heat between her thighs, she briefly saw his smile before her eyes rolled closed. Her hand faltered as his fingers plunged deeper, then slowly, she resumed her movements in time to his.
As their rhythm matched each other, Jasper found breathing was difficult, which should have been impossible as he certainly didn't need to breathe. She was so wet, so hot. Her warm hand grasped him tightly, her thumb teased the tip of his erection as she stroked him. Her soft moans caused his excitement to intensify, the lust she was giving off fueling his. He wanted her now, he needed her, but he knew he had to go slow. He knew she had never done this before and he didn't want to cause her any unnecessary pain. His mouth searched across her jaw until he found hers again.
Bella's moans grew frenzied, punctuated with soft gasps as his fingers plunged into her, his palm pressing against her sensitive flesh. Her kisses became erratic, her hand faltered on his erection. He pulled away from her mouth to watch her as her body arched in the air, her cries signaling her pleasure.
"Jasper..." she moaned. "I need you. Now. Need you inside me..."
He didn't have to be told again. He moved swiftly over her, pressing his erection against the moist heat of her opening. Her hands pulled at his hips.
"Jasper, please..." she whispered harshly. He could feel her body arch toward him, encouraging his entrance.
He drew back and looked at her, "Darlin', this is gonna hurt a bit but I'll do my best to take the pain away."
Looking in his eyes, she nodded.
Slowly, he pushed into her warm depths. He could feel the contractions that continued through her body, and he fiercely resisted the urge to plunge recklessly into her. Slowly, he pushed through her barrier, using his gift to take away her pain, halting for a minute to give her time to adjust to him. She whimpered slightly and then moved her hips against his. He eased back and then entered her again, each time going slightly deeper, until he was completely enveloped by her. He groaned as she moved under him, pushing against him, her hands urging him to move. He was so close that he was afraid to move, afraid that it would end all too quickly; vampire stamina was not going to win out tonight.
"Darlin'," he whispered as he gently rested on top of her, his lips near her ear. "Give me a minute...Please..."
He felt her nod against his shoulder as his body stilled. Her hands were restless, rubbing his back slowly, her breathing at odds with her stillness. He tried thinking of things that would distract his overexcited body, and slowly, his control returned. He kissed her lightly on the neck as he began to move.
Her body arched against him as he slowly explored her depths, her arms wrapped tightly around his waist. He kissed his way from her neck to her mouth, and her lips parted as his tongue teased its way in once again.
Bella's eyes filled with tears, his urgent plea only confirmed that his feelings, his desire, matched hers. Now his body was moving slowly on her, in her. His mouth covered hers, a gentle tangling of tongues completing their connection. They were as close as physically possible, and she never wanted this feeling to end. Desire pooled in her lower abdomen waiting to explode, but this time she wanted him to come with her; this time she wanted their pleasure to be mutual.
Her hands ran down his back to his hips, urging him to move faster. She arched her hips harder towards his as he plunged into her again. She tightened her legs around him, coaxing him deeper.
"Jasper... Oh, yes, Jazz...Harder..." she whispered.
Her voice urged him on, her whispered words encouraged him. She wanted him to fill her, wanted him to fall over the edge with her this time. His mind became totally focused on her words, her body, and the way that she surrounded him. Her emotions swirled around him: desire, lust, ecstasy, but most importantly, love.
"Now, Jasper... Oh, God, yes, now!"
And he was there. His vision narrowed to only her face before his eyes closed. He heard his own cries as his release rushed from him and into her. He felt her tightening and clenching around him, her body still milking him, as he carefully collapsed on top of her. Her lips found his, and frantic kisses ensued as her body continued to shudder beneath him.
"I love you," he whispered between kisses. "I love you..."
Jasper's cool, naked body was spooned against her back. She had slept for a little while. She had been physically exhausted before, but after the intense sexual release they had experienced, she had passed out. She knew it was supposed to be good, but she never imagined that it would make her feel this way. She also knew she wanted to wake up like this everyday, everyday until her change.
She had nothing planned for the rest of the week, only a few things to settle with her father's lawyer, papers to sign, but there really wasn't much to do. Rose and Esme had already helped her sort out his personal items, and what she didn't want to keep was boxed up and ready to be brought to the Thrift store. She had a few things placed to one side for Renee as well. She knew it would be no time before she would be moving anyway. Now that she and Jasper were together, she would eventually be moving into the Cullen house. Plus there was the topic of her being changed. She knew that when Jasper said forever he meant it, but they would have to sit down and talk soon, preferably with clothes on if they were going to make it through the conversation. A slight giggle escaped her.
"What's so funny?" Jasper whispered in her ear.
She rolled over to face him. "I was just thinking how we'll eventually have to talk. And how we'll get more done if we keep our clothes on."
She was rewarded with a smirk. "I don't know, I kinda like you this way."
She laughed and kissed him lightly. "I have a few things I need to do today. Want to come with me? We can see if Rose and Emmett want to go, too. I have a feeling they know something is up with us anyway. They know us both too well."
Jasper's smirk grew even bigger, if that was possible. "I'll call them in a little while."
"Why wait? It's not like their sleeping."
His lips silenced her words and distracted her thoughts. Jasper pulled her tightly against him. She felt his erection pressing against her stomach.
"Oh," she giggled. "I guess we can call them in a little while... Or a long while..."
The End
A/N: Hope you like it! Now I'm gone to cower in the corner :P